The story from the U.K. Mail The mother who says having these two children is the biggest regret of her life, and others like it, made me consider whether or not many women resent their children and wish they had never had them. From the UKMail story:
To some, my life before I had the children may have seemed humdrum and my job as a typist was, it’s true, not much of a career. So what was the great sacrifice, you might think?
What I valued most in my life was time on my own; to reflect, read and enjoy my own company and peace of mind. And suddenly that peace and solitude wasn’t there any more. There were two small interlopers intruding on it. And I’ve never got that peace back…
I resented the time my children consumed. Like parasites, they took from me and didn’t give back.
At first, I thought this was a case of the media poisoning our social narrative, as they are wont to do. After all, it’s very sensational to report a story like the one above; people get all up in arms about it and it generates a lot of buzz and attention, but happy mothers who enjoy caring for their children aren’t very newsworthy and don’t get written about. This makes it seem as if there is some “trend” of women beginning to despise motherhood when in reality there have always been a handful of maladjusted women who chafe under any limits on their freedom.
However, I decided to google mothers who wish they hadn’t had children just to see what it would turn up, and I was a little startled by what I found. It wasn’t the news stories that interested me; it was the anonymous boards where women confess how much they hate being mothers. For example, from WISH YOU WEREN’T A MOM?:
Right now yes. I wish I had waited until I’d had fun, found the man that I love and discovered my path in life. Right now I’m 24, have been a single mum since I was 18. I work full-time, my kids are beautiful with such amazing personalities, but it is so hard. I’ve never had the opportunity to be young,or selfish, or to make a decision based singularly on what’s right for ME, or plainly just what I want.
And another example:
If I could turn back the hands of time I wouldnt dare let a male bastard impregnate me, only to forfeit my freedom, my figure, and my finances… I know it may sound so selfish and shallow, but noone tells you just how much of yourself you give up as a mother. The mistake society makes is glamourizing motherhood. I lost myself somwhere amongst the seemingly endless diaper trail. I feel so stuck and so guilty at the same time.
And this charming lady:
I don’t like being a mother. I feel awful for saying this too but it’s the first time I’ve ever admitted it and I’m relieved to see others here who feel the same way. I am introverted, self sufficient and would usually prefer to be alone or in the company of 1-2 people. Having kids ruins all that. I hate to be bothered, I hate to answer questions, I hate having to spend money on stuff that I feel could go elsewhere. My daughter, however, is so sweet and loving and affectionate and I feel bad for feeling this way toward her. She’s almost 6. But it’s like when she wants to lay all on me and hug and kiss I can feel my skin crawling. I prefer her at a reasonable distance. And it’s not her that I specifically dislike, it’s kids in general. But when she whines, I just want to rip her skin off. And she complains and fusses and it irritates me like nothing in the world. If I could go back, I’d be one of those people who never ever had children. Perhaps, I’d marry (I’m not married now and can’t picture it but the idea sounds ok) but I’d want a child-free life so we could enjoy eachother, vacation and own nice things without worrying about some kid spilling juice on it. I am sad to say, I certainly dont like this job. Not to mention, pregnancy ruined my Playboy perfect body and I’ll never get it back without extensive surgery (more money to spend)…I often wonder what my life would be like right now without a kid. How great I’d probably be doing. And it’s a shame. I love my daughter but if I could change it I would. Hands down.
There are hundreds more comments like these, which manifest incredible selfishness, but are these women exhibiting this resentment because of feminist influence? Feminism is, after all, a profoundly selfish philosophy. It elevates the individual woman’s desires above the good of anyone else. Service to another, especially service to a husband or child, is not seen as a joyful, loving, willing sacrifice, but instead as a form of slavery which depletes the woman.
What strikes me about these examples is that the women don’t talk about how children have interfered with their careers, and isn’t careerism supposed to be one of the tenets of feminism? Ah, but that is how feminism is played out for the high-IQ, college-educated, well-off woman. The examples I have shared are how feminism is distilled down to the average woman, for whom it isn’t about a political ideology. Instead, it is manifested as extreme self-centeredness. It isn’t exactly solipsism, which as a philosophy posits that only the self exists, or can be proved to exist; it is rather more evil than this because these non-intellectual women from the lower classes can see that others exist and resent them for doing so.
Feminism makes women resent being mothers; God’s plan for how a mother should feel about her children is quite different:
He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD! Psalm 113:9
When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. John 16:21
Satan, through the rebellious ideology of feminism, offers women a false freedom which leads only to resentment and bitterness. God offers us true freedom through faith in His Son, which leads to joy and peace. Sisters, choose for yourself this day whom you will serve.