Modern women are whore-ible: Mother’s Day edition.

Just when I think modern women cannot sink any further into a quagmire of self-centered narcissism, I am proven wrong.  This is one of the more horrible (whore-ible?) things I’ve read in a while.

From HuffPo’s article, Cheating Moms:

Of 15,000 cheating mothers polled by infidelity site AshleyMadison.com, one in five said they’ve found themselves in a “sticky situation” while trying to balance motherhood with an affair.

But that’s not all. In a press release published Tuesday, the site also revealed that they typically see the highest spike in female signups on the day after Mother’s Day. In 2012, they saw a whopping 439 percent increase on that day as compared to a typical Monday.

“Mother’s Day tends to magnify the flaws, leads to questions about the choices you have made, and ultimately fosters conclusions around doing something different for yourself,” explains Ashley Madison founder and CEO Noel Biderman. “This latter choice tends to be the genesis of many women’s journey into an affair.”

Now, obviously we can all agree that adultery is bad.  Cheating is generally frowned upon, so we should be hearing these cheating whore mothers roundly condemned around the estrosphere, right?  Well, not exactly.  The married mom rationalization hamsters of a legion of female bloggers have already begun spinning the Ashley Madison survey results as the fault of men, of society, of cheerios, of pretty much anything but the cheating mom-whores themselves.  Let’s look at an excerpt written by Melissa Wall of the site How About We:

The Most Popular Day for Moms to Cheat on Their Husbands Is…

We can speculate on the reasons for this huge post-Mother’s Day cheat-fest, but one thing we can be pretty certain of is that the holiday is confronting for many married moms. Just as her children are expected to stop and contemplate the jaw-dropping onslaught of toil and worry and gifts and sacrifices that go into the raising of a child, so are moms forced to take a hard look at just what their lives involve on a day-to-day basis. Our society holds motherhood on a pedestal, glorifying it for its virtues and selfless nature, but when it comes down to brass tacks, we don’t do all that much in the way of helping moms escape the drudgery and hardship that come with the deal. Cards and flowers and a nice breakfast are lovely, but do they really make up for the weeks of no sleep, the 6 AM carpools, and the piles of mushy Cheerios perpetually left on the floor?

It would be interesting to know more information about these frustrated moms — specifically, whether they work full-time, and whether they share household and child-rearing responsibilities with their spouses. Plenty of studies purport to tell us that women are still shouldering most of the housework, and if you’ve looked at the internet in the past 2 years, there’s no way you’ve escaped at least one discussion of the near-impossibility of working moms “having it all.”

How on earth did we get to the point as a culture that mothers might seek to rationalize cheating on their husbands by saying they have too much housework and aren’t getting enough sleep?  Did these women not consider the fact that children actually take work and self-sacrifice to care for?

So is it really that much of a surprise that women might finish up their Mother’s Days ready for an escape? Instead of passing judgment and turning up our noses, shouldn’t we instead be questioning what’s happening in modern marriage and/or motherhood to make it something so many women want to escape from?

No, I don’t think we should be questioning what’s happening in modern marriage and motherhood; I think we should be questioning why so many modern women are whores concerned only with their own pleasure who are willing to sacrifice the well-being of their families.  Really, this is just indicative of the self-centeredness of modern women in general.  Modern women believe their own happiness is the highest virtue and therefore anything or anyone that requires self-sacrifice is actually immoral.

Being “true to herself” means making her own happiness the primary purpose of her life, even ahead of her children’s happiness and well-being.  After all, there have been numerous studies that have demonstrated how devastating it is for children to come from divorced and single parent homes, yet 70% of divorces are initiated by women and 41% of births are to single mothers.  If you are a woman who chose to initiate a divorce or to become pregnant when you were unmarried, then what you are really saying is that you don’t care as much about your children’s well-being as about your own selfish desires and preferences.

What does God say mothers should be doing?

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”  Proverbs 31:25-30

You know, ladies, it ultimately does not matter if you are in love with your husband, if you are attracted to him, or even if you are happy with life in general, though certainly these are nice things to have.  Despite what you may have been taught, your personal feelings of happiness are not the greatest good and you should not trust your own deceitful heart to lead you.  If you are a mother and you actually love your children, you will not do anything to jeopardize your children’s chances of growing up with their father in the home.  Instead, you will obey God, take up your cross and follow Him.

Rather than allowing the world to influence us to prioritize our own happiness above all else and to seek to fulfill the lusts of the flesh, let us instead remind ourselves of what God calls women to be: faithful, Godly, reverent, loving, gentle, kind, selfless, patient, pure, wise, and self-controlled.  And if you were blessed enough to have a mother who embraced the cross of self-sacrifice to raise you, take a moment to thank our Lord for her.

166 thoughts on “Modern women are whore-ible: Mother’s Day edition.

  1. Special K

    “Our society holds motherhood on a pedestal, glorifying it for its virtues and selfless nature”

    Well who ever would have seen that coming? An entire day devoted to fawning supplication and putting a woman on a pedestal, and it makes her want to cheat. Zoinks!

    I’ll give 100-1 that the site sees at least a 200% spike the day after Valentines Day too.

  2. Farm Boy

    No, I don’t think we should be questioning what’s happening in modern marriage and motherhood; I think we should be questioning why so many modern women are whores concerned only with their own pleasure who are willing to sacrifice the well-being of their families

    What the heck is wrong with modern American women?

    It really comes down to that

  3. Stg58/Animal Mother

    Mom story!

    When I was 12, my dad was sent to jail by the IRS. He was in a federal prison in Pleasanton, CA. We lived in Los Angeles at the time, so my mom borrowed a van from a family friend so we could all go visit him. My mom put all of our clothes in a suitcase on the top of the van, but didn’t think she needed to strap it down. On Interstate 5, just north of Valencia, the suitcase blew off and sprayed all of our clothes (for my mom and the five of us) all over the freeway.

    I don’t know how my mom didn’t come apart at the seams in a emotional meltdown besides God being right there next to her. A CHP trooper shut down the entire freeway and helped my mom pick up all our clothes. She is a tough lady, and I am thankful to God she is my mom.

  4. Farm Boy

    tends to be the genesis of many women’s journey into an affair

    Enough of this pedistalization crap, objectify me and show me who is boss.

  5. SarahsDaughter

    That is awesome Stg!

    The “Mom, how didn’t you lose your shit?” stories are the best.

  6. Stg58/Animal Mother

    My mom had two rocks to stand on, The Lord and my dad. My greatest accomplishment in life will be being half the man he was.

  7. Looking Glass

    Part of me actually wants to defend whores in this piece. At least they’re honest.

    The women described here are: Evil, Vile and Hateful. They’ve put their own fleeting desire to get f***ed over every other consideration. They’re willing to destroy everything for a fling. And considering the relational dynamics difference between Men & Women, and the historical nature of women’s regard for their child when a new man enters their life, I’m not sure I have too many more words to describe how truly wretched of people these women are.

  8. Farm Boy

    Strength and dignity

    We don’t see much of that these days, do we.

    And the government isn’t helping. “A slut in every pot”.

  9. Farm Boy

    historical nature of women’s regard for their child when a new man enters their life

    They don’t murder them, do they?

  10. FuzzieWuzzie

    “Zoinks” doesn’t begin to cover this…more like “Gad Zooks!!!”.
    Maybe we shouldn’t be all that surprised. This is one of the outcomes of Marriage 2.0.
    Hubby’s been run down by failing enough fitness tests and Mommy has lost respect.
    When I first started looking for answers months ago, I stumbled on a gem:
    Love=Attraction+Respect
    The core problem with Marriage 2.0 is that it changes the dynamics. Hubby’s all in and locked down in terms of commitment. Wifey is courted till death or divorce. This has to lead to problems.
    What’s really insidious about women’s infidelity, is that she’s emotionally checked out of the relationship. Really hard to recover that.
    Getting back to the original post, I don’t think most of these women will follow through. What most of them will do is post a profile to see how much interest they can draw and that’s all.
    In a sense, that’s sicker because it’s a deeper indulgence of narcissism.
    Even though I’ve never married, two years on OK Cupid has refined my suspicions.
    One final thought: if I’m not mistaken, Ashley Madison is a pay site. What going to happen when Hubby finds an unexplained charge every month?

  11. Miserman

    The 31st chapter of Proverbs provides a great definition of what a godly woman is. However, in this day and age, I am more inclined to look at the opening verses, that piece of advice given from a mother to a son before the ideal wife is described.

    What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. – Proverbs 30:2-3

    If we are to celebrate mothers, let’s recognize those who have the wisdom to give that piece of advice, especially to their sons.

  12. Lori

    Those last two paragraphs are beautiful. I am going to include them in a post. We are called to be living sacrifices and I see selfishness as the main cause of the destruction of marriages. It is very difficult for many women to understand this truth. BTW, I just found your new blog. I am happy you are back.

    [ssm: Hi Lori. Thanks!]

  13. Frank

    My mother’s greatest gift to me is her promise that she would slice me open and feed my entrails to buzzards if I ever tried to marry a single mom or a carousel riding slutwhore.

    I’ve learned to take her threats seriously.

  14. Farm Boy

    single mom or a carousel riding slutwhore.

    I would say that most single moms are carousel riding slutwhores. Or they wish that they were.

  15. Amy

    This just made me sad. Our society is so incredibly selfish.

    As a mother, I wish Mother’s Day would just go away. Especially when I listen to what my “friends” expect their families to do for them, what they think they’re entitled to and listen to them whine about their families the rest of the time!

    We need to forego ourself. It’s not about me. Yes, I had many sleep lacking nights because of my kids (daughter especially LOL). But it goes with the job. I’m SO blessed to be able to be their mom. That in itself is a reward enough.

    Of course we’ll make bad choices when we focus on ourselves rather than Jesus and our neighbor/family, etc.

    I know we can’t hold the world to the same expectations as the church, but it especially makes me sad when I see the same attitude of selfishness within the church as within the world.

  16. Sigyn

    One final thought: if I’m not mistaken, Ashley Madison is a pay site. What going to happen when Hubby finds an unexplained charge every month?

    Separate accounts = no accountability. It’s a two-edged sword.

  17. Novaseeker

    Lot’s of people have separate accounts, and also companies like that one have very clever ways of describing the charges on the statement. They don’t actually want the spouses to know that their spouse is using Ashley Madison, obviously.

  18. Leap of a Beta

    Plus Nova, how many husbands would know what Ashley Madison was even if they came across the name on a statement? Most would likely guess it was one of those cutesy stores women love to spend gobs of money on overpriced handmade decorations or some nonsense.

  19. anonymous

    I heard of a case in Australia where a cash strapped wife went into prostitution — high end, discreet, by appointment only, not streetwalking — while telling her hub that she was doing something totally different in order to explain the new flush of cash.

    Somewhere along the way she must have neglected him, because one day she was sent to a hotel room of a new client and…. yea, guess who it was. She somehow found out and dodged him, skipping the appointment, so he never knew. But she reflected sardonically, that he went out to hire a prostitute, with the cash his own wife earned from prostitution…..

    It would have been even kinkier if she’d gone through with the appointment.

  20. anonymous

    Gotta wonder how often it happens, that spouses find each other on Ashley Madison. That must make for interesting dinner table conversation. Do they match couples on 29 dimensions of compatibility? :-)

  21. DJ

    Its sad that anyone would do that. And everyday it is important to remember and appreciat our mothers and fathers. Its bad to take our parents for granted

  22. Leap of a Beta

    Probably the most disturbing part of the article was the facts within the slideshow at the end:

    1. Of the 15,000 mothers polled, 67 percent reported that they have taken a call from their lover in front of their child.

    2. Fity-six percent reported that they have been late to pick their child up from sports, school, a play date, etc.

    3. Twenty-nine percent of the moms polled admitted to changing their child’s plans in order to accommodate a rendezvous.

    4. Four percent of moms polled said that they have introduced their child to their lover under a false pretense.

    5. The survey found that 2 percent of moms have been caught by their child in a compromising position.

    And people wonder why we have generations of children that are just completely messed up.. Let me put that into hard numbers.

    1. 10,050 children have been forced to listen to their mom talk to their adulterous lover on the phone.

    2. 8,400 children have been abandoned and left alone by their mother placing adultery and sex above their child, destroying trust, a sense of security, and respect for their parents. Let us hope that those children were not subjected to any predatory behavior of any sort by adults willing to take advantage of abandoned children.

    3. 4,350 children have had to make sacrifices of their passions for their mother’s passions of the flesh. Hello worlds of video games and televisions raising children

    4. 600 children have been lied to and begun developing relationships with their mother’s lover under false pretenses, as well as the mother allowing such a figure to take advantage of her children. I won’t even bother to cite the statistics involved in boyfriends and step fathers beating, abusing, and molesting children that aren’t theirs. Everyone here knows they’re bad

    5. 300 children have caught their mothers in the act. Dear Lord please heal these broken souls.

    Keep in mind that all these numbers are self reported – thus likely to be too low rather than too high. In addition, they’re based on the mother’s perception of a child’s knowledge rather than the child’s actual knowledge itself. Given women’s propensity to think they’re more clever and deceitful in this area, as well as a constant underestimation of a child’s critical thinking and observational skills by selfish adults, and I really shudder at the harm these children are facing.

    Whores, get thee to a nunnery.

    [ssm: Just unbelievable. Thanks for quoting more from that HuffPo article.]

  23. Novaseeker

    I kind of agree with the first comment, really, thinking about it.

    It happens on a fixed day, and not all couples are going to be going through a good spot when it happens, but it always needs to be celebrated, from a cultural perspective. So I suspect that in a significant number of marriages where the wives are bored, annoyed or unattracted to their beta husbands, the supplication effect of mother’s day is a complete and total turn off, just like a supplicating beta normally is when his wife is not attracted to him. Going to AM makes “sense” when seen in the wake of non-alpha revulsion and disgust that is generated by a man to whom she is no longer attracted supplicating her to beat the band on mother’s day. It makes perfect sense from a red pill perspective, really. It’s likely that you can only “get away with” the degree of supplication that mother’s day demands from a cultural point of view if you are generally operating from a very strong alpha frame generally in the marriage, such that the one day of supplication won’t create mountains of disgust and revulsion in the woman when balanced against the full picture. If you’re the typical suburban beta, you may want to make it a habit to check up on the credit card statements in June of every year.

    The other interesting thing, from one of the linked pieces, is this gem:

    It would be interesting to know more information about these frustrated moms — specifically, whether they work full-time, and whether they share household and child-rearing responsibilities with their spouses. Plenty of studies purport to tell us that women are still shouldering most of the housework,

    The message: if you don’t do more housework, not only will we not have sex with you, but we’re going to cheat on you! Get to those dishes, boy!

    Of course, it goes unsaid that other studies have clearly shown that this does NOT lead to more sex, but less sex, in the marriage. It’s a classic case of redirection. Women are in marriages where they are unhappy because they are not married to alpha. But they experience it as a general sense of unhappiness (similar to the kind of generalized state of anxiety or unease that SSM describes as preceding a fitness test). So they look around for concrete reasons for their unhappiness and, voila, it’s that hubby isn’t doing the dishes or the laundry often enough or well enough. It’s not the real reason, because the real reason either is not clear to the woman, or is not palatable to her, so she looks for a reason that is more “objective” and “culturally accepted” (the meme that men need to do more housework is repeated in the MSM several times a week I think). It’s all cover, really, for the fact that they married non-alphas and aren’t satisfied with them.

  24. Farm Boy

    Somewhere along the way she must have neglected him, because one day she was sent to a hotel room of a new client and…. yea, guess who it was.

    From the silly 70s

  25. Leap of a Beta

    Hah. Let me see if I have a better picture Farm Boy. I usually completely ignore anyone with a camera, as it leads to unnatural looks like that one, where I’m more guarded. In pictures I look best when i’m not smiling and not looking into a lens, but away from it. Working on getting the skill to be able to have the connection through a camera that I do without one.

  26. Farm Boy

     If you are a woman who chose to initiate a divorce or to become pregnant when you were unmarried, then what you are really saying is that you don’t care as much about your children’s well-being as about your own selfish desires and preferences

    Nine out of ten hamsters disagree with this assertion. The other 10% are saying Yes! Yes!

  27. Lisa in Vermont

    Some women don’t stop to think about how an affair will affect their children.

    Two female teachers at my daughters’ elementary school used to be best friends. During the summer their families would go camping together.

    During one such camping trip Teacher A had sex with Teacher B’s husband while their families were on a hike. After the camping trip Teacher A and Teacher B’s husband announced that they were in love. They moved in together shortly after the school year began.

    Needless to say, this caused a huge scandal in our small, rural town. Most people sided with Teacher B, but some blamed her because she had let herself go and gained a lot of weight. She had to spend the rest of the year working with Teacher A. She was willing to reconcile with her cheating husband, but he asked for a divorce.

    Eventually, he married Teacher A. Teacher B has had to take in boarders to afford the mortgage on her house (she doesn’t want to uproot her children after all they’ve been through). Teacher B’s husband lost his house and had to move in with his parents b/c his cheating wife got such a large divorce settlement.

    Ironically, Teacher A decided that she would take her new husband’s last name so now there are two teachers with the same unusual last name at the elementary school. Yep, they still work together.

    The families have six kids between them, all of whom have suffered because of the divorce. But, hey the cheaters are happy and in love and that’s what counts, isn’t it?

  28. Farm Boy

    @beta

    Dress like a thug and look like you are going to kill someone, then you can graduate to Leap of an Alpha

  29. Pingback: One way to be appreciative of your Mothers – Look at the competition. « stagedreality

  30. MarkyMark

    The HuffPo piece is yet ANOTHER reminder of why I say TGIS-thank God I’m single! Women are whores, and the modern women written about in the HuffPo piece are only revealing women’s TRUE nature…

  31. earl

    I don’t think most husbands get it.

    Your wife isn’t your mother.

    The kids are supposed to serve her on that day…not you. But I imagine most husbands think they should double down on the serving too.

    The kids can make her breakfast in bed…she still has to fix me a sammich.

    [ssm: LOL, good comment! My husband often helps the children make scones for breakfast because his scones are so good. But he always buys me the same thing every year, which I cannot open in front of the children - lingerie. He went out just now, and I'm sure that's where he's off to. Lingerie is the perfect solution to the cultural expectation of celebrating Mother's Day without turning into a supplicating beta-boy, since it is essentially a gift for the husband.]

  32. dannyfrom504

    i sent this to my mom. she agrees with you 100%.

    the modern narcassistic woman. and people wonder why i refuse to marry and have kids.

    [ssm: I love it that your mom read my blog sometimes. It's really an honor! The happiest of Mother's Days to her.]

  33. Novaseeker

    The kids are supposed to serve her on that day…not you.

    Eh, it tends not to work that way because the kids can’t “serve her” when they are young and very time-consuming. Young mothers don’t want, and the culture doesn’t accept, that they aren’t to be celebrated on mother’s day because the kids are too young to do so. I also don’t think that’s a productive approach from a husband, to be very frank. She is the mother of your kids, and you should celebrate that. The key is having enough of an alpha frame, in general, in the marriage, such that having a day like mother’s day doesn’t do much damage when taken overall (and won’t be seen as weak from the wife). Simply not really celebrating it much until the kids are old enough is not really going to work.

  34. earl

    “Simply not really celebrating it much until the kids are old enough is not really going to work.”

    Then the best way to celebrate it is to have mother’s day every day of the year.

    Seems like when something about the feminine is highlighted…it ruins the virtues. Father’s day should be a party.

  35. Farm Boy

    @Everybody

    I am looking for a business partner. Based on the statistics cited, there is a large and growing market for Mother’s Day cards for the “Mother With a Special Someone”. The markup on cards is huge; and we can be the first to market. Anyone with fiat money can invest.

    -Farm Boy

    [ssm: Awesome idea! Maybe you can include a free HIV test kit with each card sold!]

  36. Thankful Husband

    Reading SSM everyday makes me more and more thankful for my wife…the modern woman is hard to wrap my head around.

    [ssm: Hey, that's good! If you've managed to get a decent woman, it's good to have gratitude (so long as you direct the gratitude toward God, of course) and count your blessings! Make sure she knows she's lucky to have you for a husband, too.]

  37. Farm Boy

    From Sallie’s link,

    it’s why even merely uttering “kill all men” is seen as so shocking: we’ve internalised this sentiment

    Good wife material there. I wonder what the bible should say to her…

  38. Lisette

    SSM , great Mothers day gift tradition!
    Before Father’s Day, can some of your readers give us wives some suggestions on doing Father’s day well?

    [ssm: Steak and BJ Day, round 2 perhaps? Just a thought.]

  39. Loving Wife

    Reading SSM everyday makes me more and more thankful for my wife…the modern woman is hard to wrap my head around.

    And she’s thankful for you

    [ssm: Aww, are you Mrs. Thankful? Welcome, ma'am! Though we don't always agree 100%, your husband adds interesting points to the conversation in my crazy comment threads.]

  40. Farm Boy

    can some of your readers give us wives some suggestions on doing Father’s day well?

    Repect and appreciate your husband. When you watch a modern sitcom, pretty much do the opposite of what the women there do.

  41. sunshinemary

    Women are in marriages where they are unhappy because they are not married to alpha. But they experience it as a general sense of unhappiness (similar to the kind of generalized state of anxiety or unease that SSM describes as preceding a fitness test). So they look around for concrete reasons for their unhappiness and, voila, it’s that hubby isn’t doing the dishes or the laundry often enough or well enough. It’s not the real reason, because the real reason either is not clear to the woman, or is not palatable to her, so she looks for a reason that is more “objective” and “culturally accepted” (the meme that men need to do more housework is repeated in the MSM several times a week I think). It’s all cover, really, for the fact that they married non-alphas and aren’t satisfied with them.

    That was such a good point, I just had to copy it here for everyone to read again. And you know, men whose wives are not attracted to them are really in a bind on holidays like Mother’s Day because they are essentially screwed either way (and not in the sexy sense of screwed, either). If he makes a big fuss and buys her lots of stuff and treats her like a queen, she will despise him even more, but if he doesn’t do all that, she can focus all her general unhappiness born from the lack of attraction onto the fact that he didn’t treat her well on Mother’s Day.

    She is the mother of your kids, and you should celebrate that. The key is having enough of an alpha frame, in general, in the marriage, such that having a day like mother’s day doesn’t do much damage when taken overall (and won’t be seen as weak from the wife).

    Yes, I agree. It is good to celebrate your wife as the mother of your children. And you can do things like make scones for her if you compensate in other ways – like buying her lingerie instead of flowers. Also, you could celebrate Mother’s Day by taking her out to do an activity that shows off her need to rely on you – whatever you’re good at that she isn’t, like target shooting, boating, whatever. That way you are doing something special for her while still being the man in charge.

  42. nightskyradio

    Farm Boy – don’t forget the Father’s Day card market. For example…

    Text – Even after your wife divorced you, took the house and kids, and you were jailed for not paying sky-high child support, don’t look so sad. Romance in is the air…

    Image – cellmate leaning in with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bar of EZ-Drop soap in the other.

    [ssm: I am no longer going to read your comments if I am drinking anything. This is not the first time I've almost sprayed my laptop with tea because of you. :)]

  43. Farm Boy

    It’s all cover, really, for the fact that they married non-alphas and aren’t satisfied with them

    First of all, who accepted the proposal?

    Second, are they choosing to be unhappy?

  44. Farm Boy

    cellmate leaning in with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bar of EZ-Drop soap in the other

    Would he be the father or the mother in this case?

  45. allamagoosa

    @Farm Boy

    Is that an offer for you and Allamagoosa to be business partners with me?

    Don’t rope me into this, I’m not going to draw that.

  46. Farm Boy

    SSM – “Almost” ? Guess I need to try a bit harder.

    She has become desensitized.

  47. infowarrior1

    @Leap of beta

    Only the through repentance and being born again in the spirit will they give up their whoredom. Don’t you know that in history that those very same nunneries were turned into whorehouses when whores were deported there. Go figure.

  48. nightskyradio

    Infowarrior1 – Buy the 3D printer and print an assault rifle. Save $$$ and get on a federal watch list* all at once.

    Federal watch list = badass cred.

  49. Leap of a Beta

    Hah. I didn’t know that. Simply hadn’t seen a more appropriate situation to reference hamlet in a long time. Can’t pass up those opportunities

    Doesn’t surprise me though.

  50. stg58/Animal Mother

    I am on every list there is and am an enemy of the state. I got you beat.

  51. Thankful Husband

    [i][ssm: Aww, are you Mrs. Thankful? Welcome, ma'am! Though we don't always agree 100%, your husband adds interesting points to the conversation in my crazy comment threads.][/i]

    Yes, that’s my beautiful, loving, respectful, and submissive bride. Nothing like the women you write about.

    You want the honest take on why I think many times your readers and I don’t agree 100%? I believe in christian patriarchy. Emphasis on the christian. Most of their emphasis is on the patriarchy. I believe in both strongly, but you have a much different outcome/outlook/situation depending on where you put the emphasis in my humble opinion.

  52. Loving Wife

    [i]Reading SSM everyday makes me more and more thankful for my wife…the modern woman is hard to wrap my head around.
    And she’s thankful for you

    [ssm: Aww, are you Mrs. Thankful? Welcome, ma'am! Though we don't always agree 100%, your husband adds interesting points to the conversation in my crazy comment threads.][/i]

    Guilty as charged…….LOL I’m one blessed girl, he’s a good man, strong leader, faithful (to me and to God), and incredible father, selfless and full of integrity. He does like to challenge people as you’ve seen…LOL….Our journey hasn’t always been easy. We’ve both learned a lot, changed a lot, grown a lot. Thank God for His abundant grace and the stubbornness of both of us that we’ve managed to figure this marriage thing out. I thank God for him everyday.

  53. Loving Wife (Lily)

    Not that it really matters – I’ve posted a few times – I just change my name up because I like to be confusing :p

  54. Lisa in Vermont

    I feel sorry for husbands who worry that their wives will no longer be attracted to them if they’re too nice on Mother’s Day. How sad that some men have to play games and constantly be on guard lest their wives suddenly decide that they’re beta chumps.

    My husband and children treat me like Queen Lisa on Mother’s Day. Tomorrow I’ll wake up at sunrise and head to my favorite mountain hiking trail with my older children (my husband, PJ, hates to hike and my toddler is too young for this particular trail). We’ll take some Mother’s Day photos at the summit and call my husband once we make it down to the trail head.

    When we get home, PJ have a gourmet breakfast prepared. He’ll give me a sappy card and a gift and the children will give me homemade cards and presents.

    Then, we’ll head out to watch my eldest play in an annual Mother’s Day soccer tournament. Afterward, we’ll enjoy a nice picnic lunch that PJ has prepared.

    When we arrive home and PJ will probably tell me that I’m not allowed to do any work around the house. He’ll make me a delicious dinner, usually fish or a vegetarian meal because that’s what I prefer.

    If it’s a typical Mother’s Day, after dinner PJ and I will enjoy a glass of wine on the front porch and watch the sunset while the kids clean the kitchen. I’ll thank him for working hard to make sure I had a nice Mother’s Day and he’ll tell me what a good mom I am and how much he loves me and is glad he married me.

    Will I suddenly get the urge to sh*t test PJ for being too nice to me? No way! If he wants to put the kids to bed early and have sex, I’m game. If he wants OS or some other special treat, that’s fine, too because I will still be attracted to him and I will still respect him. I am MORE attracted to my husband because in addition to being good looking he is a genuinely nice guy.

    Women who lose respect for their husbands because they want to cater to them for one day each year (maybe two days if you count birthdays) probably have some underlying emotional issues they need to deal with. As for me, I feel blessed to have a husband who enjoys going out of his way to make me feel special and appreciated.

    [ssm: Sounds like a nice time - hope you have a blessed Mother's Day, Lisa.]

  55. Butterfly Flower

    If you’re the typical suburban beta, you may want to make it a habit to check up on the credit card statements in June of every year.

    If a wife is hiding her personal credit card or checking statements throughout the entire year , shouldn’t that already arouse suspicion?

    (…Although hiding credit card statements is completely useless if you don’t hide the shopping bags)

  56. stg58/Animal Mother

    (…Although hiding credit card statements is completely useless if you don’t hide the shopping bags)

    What size bags does Ashley Madison use? Sleeping bags?

  57. Frank

    I’d like to wish all the mothers here a happy mother’s day, but I don’t want to come across as a beta loser male, so let me instead say that you all suck the mighty suck of sucking sucks.

    Now if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom practicing my brooding look.

    [ssm: Frank, I was just thinking of you! And what I was thinking is this: you should read The Private Man's site. He is not Christian sfaik but he seems to have good dating advice.]

  58. ray

    i rummaged this post twice but found nothing to hate on!

    ps i likes the new simple header, indicates more mature and direct content, plus a 0 on the Vanitometer, opposite of —

    “quagmire of self-centered narcissism”

    heh sunbeam upon yon Queendom of MaaM

    does Mother’s Day exist to glorify God, or are we sneakily glorifing oursekves?

    Scripture directs us to honor our OWN mothers personally, esp as we grow and are able better to understand their own human faults and struggles

    but neither Scripture nor the LORD direct us to set apart special days for honoring mothers collectively, thats called “idolatry” it’s in the OT occasionally :O)

    tho celebrating the one-month anniversary of a blog hedges Rongville, exceptions are merits, the hour’s late and yikes do Christian and Jewish females need these advisories… some shockproofing against whats to come (Jeshua in power)

    how does Scripture instruct us to prepare for him and his Kingdom of the Father?

    the LORD via Malachi —

    “turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse”

    ok pretty straightforward, most everybody can understand that, get the men and boys back together or else

    is observing Mother’s Day by wasting resources obedience to the LORD’s command for our hour?

    God greatly treasures an obedient wife and loving mother, plenty of them in heaven, rebellious gals not so much

  59. FuzzieWuzzie

    To all the virtuous mommies out there, a big virtual bear hug!
    Frank, take joy in the success of others. That way, it’ll be contagious and you’ll catch it.
    Lisa, thanks to you for sharing. It’s good to know that there are women who can truly love.

  60. an observer

    Yet to sen any articles or fathers day messages about how tough it is for men to have it all.

    Oh snap, they already do, don’t they.

    Doh.

  61. gabriel

    You can’t discipline your kid(s) in order not to let ‘piles of mushy Cheerios’ on the floor, so the solution is ‘cheat that bastard husband!’ The logic must be re-written from scratch!

    [ssm: Logic has been found to be misogynistic. The rationalization hamster makes all the decisions now.]

  62. Farm Boy

    Women need alpha less than ever, but demand it more than ever.

    So much for rational markets.

  63. Farm Boy

    Don’t women get enjoyment and satisfaction out of being mothers? Or is that “socialized” out of them?

  64. Farm Boy

    Perhaps “alpha” is just another luxury that women want; kind of like the Lexus or the big house.

  65. Farm Boy

    Yet to see any articles or fathers day messages about how tough it is for men to have it all.

    Mothers Day has always been higher on a pedistal than Fathers Day. This should not be.

    My Dad worked hard for a modest salary. We were all appreciative, starting with my Mom.

  66. Farm Boy

    It’s going to be a downloadable future.

    Can I download 3d printer plans for a good wife?

  67. Kate

    Appreciating Mother’s Day doesn’t make you a feminist. When will the ladies of the sphere find examples of good women to talk and write about instead of always the bad?

  68. Looking Glass

    @Kate:

    1) Good women rarely make the news. 2) You’re probably trolling. 3) Women with no wisdom and Men with no insight control much of the media, so we’re covered with this filth pretty much anytime we step out of our safe little corners. 4) The Holiday has been so infused with Feminist BS that it’s a lost cause and is pretty much Go Girl Appreciation Day for much of the country, so it’s a target rich environment for posting topics.

  69. mackPUA

    @Kate

    Until feminists & women like you quit complaining about criticising women …

  70. earl

    I’m going to give my dad a call today to tell him thanks…if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have a mother’s day to celebrate.

  71. Farm Boy

    Appreciating Mother’s Day doesn’t make you a feminist.

    I appreciate my Mother, not mothers day.

    [ssm: Hey, I tried to email you at the address you use to comment but it bounced back to me, saying this account has been closed.]

  72. Miserman

    Our society holds motherhood on a pedestal, glorifying it for its virtues and selfless nature, but when it comes down to brass tacks, we don’t do all that much in the way of helping moms escape the drudgery and hardship that come with the deal.

    Whenever I hear women say things like this, I get angry enough to yell, “If motherhood is so hard and such a god-awful experience, then why in the hay-ell did you have sex?!”

    Women want to be mommies, but not mothers.

  73. Farm Boy

    Yes, but SSM is not a woman with “no wisdom.” I expect better.

    SSM is not part of the Mainstream Media. This is a backwater where people who don’t believe the MSM drivel can gather.

  74. Farm Boy

    SSM is not a woman with “no wisdom

    On second thought, maybe SSM isn’t a women; the behavior is all wrong. Perhaps she is a space alien, or an introvert.

  75. Kate

    @Farm Boy: I know. I love bathing in this “backwater.” I just wish there didn’t have to be this article here today. I thinking about two co-workers of mine. They are both older women with children out of college and they told me the most touching stories at lunch the other day of how one’s two children made plans to come home for this weekend to be with her and the other’s four have organized an entire week for them to spend on vacation together in the summer to be together. And I just thought, wow. These women have it together! They built real, strong, families. I just like to hear more kinds of things like that. Its inspiring.

  76. Hannah

    Great post! We don’t celebrate mother’s day in this household or the one I grew up in… what ghastly feminist marketing it really is.
    ‘Honour your Father and Mother’… seems this should be done every day… but to give God the glory, not to idolize women.
    The job of a mother is ‘as unto the Lord’, and we shouldn’t be glorifying their role and thereby elevating their status.

    BTW I’m a housewife with 4 little children but this doesn’t change my mind :)

    Blessings in Yeshua

    [ssm: Welcome, Hannah, and thank you for your kind words. We should feel blessed and grateful for the privilege of being mothers and give glory to God.]

  77. empathologism

    The women described here are: Evil, Vile and Hateful. They’ve put their own fleeting desire to get f***ed over every other consideration

    The poor dears must have figured out the damned microwave oven. Until the day after mothers day they were slow cookers.

    [ssm: LOL, empath, good one! That's too funny! Ha! None of the rationalizations that come out of women's mouths (including mine) should be accepted on first blush; give it long enough and they will contradict themselves with their actions.]

  78. empathologism

    Kate, we see too much investment in women’s feelings and self worth and self esteem and awesome specialness. That’s what created these monsters.

    What passes for inspiration will include zip about sacrifice or long suffering and all about know herself and having self worth a la Liz Esther, who as she writes about the survival of those teen abduction victims in Cleveland celebrates only their ability to hold onto “knowing who they are”

    Women are lost in a black hole of esteem craving, leading to the notion that a woman’s biggest sin is low self esteem. If you can find inspirational stories that don’t feed that gaping maw, great, but they are exceedingly rare.

  79. sunshinemary

    For the record, Kate’s not a troll or a feminist. She’s been around the sphere for a while, so I guess she’s allowed to complain sometimes.

    Kate, incidentally, I understand what you are saying. I know in your particular case that you have had to work hard and are a divorced mother and that your husband had a drinking problem, so you’ve had a rough time of it. The thing is, you will find the kinds of articles you are looking for everywhere today. And many of them are just fine and very inspirational. I don’t have a problem with celebrating Mother’s Day; we do at my house. I don’t personally enjoy being treated like a queen, though I like the scones and gifts, but I’m not going to press other people not to celebrate it however they see fit.

    The thing is, mothers are characterized from the MSM and the pulpit and society at large as if they are always these selfless creatures and fathers are characterized as selfish boors. This is untrue; women are not naturally selfless creatures. We are capable of great selfishness, and that is quite obvious from the divorce rate and from the increasing rate of women who commit adultery. Even pointing out the profound solipsism and self-centeredness of modern women tends to elicit shock and anger from the herd. However, I feel a call to point it out nevertheless.

    But in any event, I do hope you have a peaceful, pleasant Mother’s Day, my dear!

  80. earl

    “If motherhood is so hard and such a god-awful experience, then why in the hay-ell did you have sex?!”

    They are trying to find a way to get filled up with joy. Some resort to sex…others resort to eating a lot of garbage that makes them feel good.

  81. earl

    “I don’t personally enjoy being treated like a queen, though I like the scones and gifts, but I’m not going to press other people not to celebrate it however they see fit.”

    We need more women like you.

  82. Farm Boy

    @SSM

    Do you have an email account? Your old one is closed.

    [ssm: Yes, it's in the tab at the top of the page "About this blog and the hostess".]

  83. Kate

    SSM,

    lol Was I complaining? I guess so, but not my intention :) Being treated like a queen, no, not important. My daughter has said more than once, “I wish I was you.” That touches me. The little gifts they make for you are more than enough. And her father helped her buy a plant, which was very kind. I guess I don’t notice the other articles because I don’t even look. I have much to be grateful for.

    And a very Happy Mother’s Day to you too!

  84. Farm Boy

    The poor dears must have figured out the damned microwave oven.

    Yes, the cavity magnetron heats up and the magnetism happens..

    Actually the cavity magnetron is a good metaphor. Electrons start at high potential, they go round and round, bobbing in and out as they do so, Each time around, they give up some of their life energy, until they eventually are dumped out at ground level.

  85. Frank

    [ssm: Frank, I was just thinking of you! And what I was thinking is this: you should read The Private Man's site. He is not Christian sfaik but he seems to have good dating advice.]

    Thanks for the link, I’m already finding it helpful (such as breaking up errands to force myself out more often)

  86. Rollo Tomassi

    SSM, while it is a pretty shitty thing to consider that Moms tend to do a hypergamous gut check on the day after Mother’s Day, the predictability of it isn’t all that surprising.

    There a loads of other environmental and seasonal cues that can trigger hypergamous introspection and behavior:

    http://mathiasmikkelsen.com/2010/10/…-and-breakups/

    Oddly enough, Spring Break is the biggest precursor for a breakup, who’da thunk, right?

    It’s always funny to me when I have a guy ask me for advice about his suspicions that his GF is cheating, or something “just doesn’t feel right” or should he NEXT her, only to have some die-hard white knight give me the All-For-Love speech when I tell him he should. We don’t know for sure, talk it out with her, communicate better, be a good listeners, blah blah blah,..

    Oh wait, Spring Break is a week out? Yeah, NEXT her first.

  87. Anon

    boys, you might be able to find a wife if you quit calling all single women sluts….

  88. empathologism

    Farm Boy:

    I pulled and replaced the magnetron in my over range microwave last year.
    Lacking a magnetron the pressure cooker is …. uncertain

  89. Adsignatos Day

    This was shown at my church for Mother’s Day service. This is what the church has become hasn’t it? A pathetic circus.

  90. Farm Boy

    Can we call sluts single women?

    Actually, no. As evidenced by the original post, married women can be sluts also.

  91. Frank

    This was shown at my church for Mother’s Day service. This is what the church has become hasn’t it? A pathetic circus.

    My Lord. And I’m supposed to find my future wife in the middle of all THAT mess?

  92. Adsignatos Day

    Just to clarify, my church presented the video; it didn’t actually perform it. If they did, I would’ve left the service. But on top of all that, my church actually sent roses to all the women (even those who were single, single mothers, etc) even though the role of a Godly mother is the one to be admired, not any ol’ human with a female-sexy-bits.

    And hey, what ever happened to the Church as the solemn, holy, sanctified Body of Christ that’s separate from the World? The irony of it all is that today’s message was about honor…

  93. Lady_Virtue

    @ Adsignatos Day,

    Unfortunately, I think events such as what happened at your church today were the norm in many churches across the U.S. I assumed there would be more rear-kissing of women at churches today than normal. I wanted no part of it; Mother’s Day is precisely why I did not go to church today.

  94. Farm Boy

    Freddy Mercury is rolling over in his grave.

    Women always act as if housework is so hard and takes so long. With modern conveniences, it takes almost no time. Is there anything that women are not martyrs at?

  95. earl

    What a burden children are on women…let’s celebrate that. Yet if a man says the world is a burden on him and complains, he’s a loser.

  96. Adsignatos Day

    @Lady_Virtue – I was expecting some “traditional feminism” clap-trap and was also thinking about not going this Sunday, but I figure I go because I’m in a good position to effect some change there. I’m heavily invested in philosophy and Christian apologetics, and the people there know that I operate objectively and not based on whim or emotion, so they don’t immediately think I’m “butthurt” when I actually speak against the typical lies that Protestant evangelicals swallow.

    So when I start teaching classes on church doctrine and apologetics, I think it’s perfect to start dispensing with the red pill–perhaps filed under “Doctrine of Man”. Maybe I won’t reach the older folk, but I’m sure I can get a favorable response from the high school and college people.

  97. Looking Glass

    One thing we all probably need to remember is that there is an absolutely massive market for Christian religious “packages” and media material. It’s actually one of the biggest parts of the book market, plus the biggest part no one hears about. So, problematic or just plan bad packages can end up with a life of their own. (This is also where a lot of well known preachers make a whole lot of money, or at least the Churches do, selling their sermons)

    Still, ours this year was pretty good. Was a crayon-style animation with kids talking about their mothers. It was actually pretty hilarious. Which was much better than last years, which while not really too “bad” on the cultural/theology side of things, it was too long and way too cheesy. Then we had a lot of baby dedications. The interesting bit was the pastor then went into laying the groundwork of the next sermon series, so it was really a straight forward theology sermon.

    And for one of the reasons I do love our church, he closed the sermon with a story about a man he prayed with at a service function. The elderly man was still working because his daughter had abandoned his grandson on him. It’s how he closed a Mother’s Day service where the sermon was dealing with missions and the Great Commission. Was quite appreciated it.

  98. tbc

    Our service was pretty low-key in terms of the mother’s day thing. The pastor just before the sermon asked all the women in the congregation to stand and prayed for them as mothers, potential mothers, potential grandmothers, etc. The after church the women’s fellowship had some small snacks for all the mothers. Nothing fancy.

    Family is a BIG emphasis in our church. You don’t hear any supplication of women and my wife tells me at the women’s fellowship they focus on practical things. Last week the teaching at the women’s group was from a professor on the need to plan your life well so that your husband and children are well taken care of in terms of food, planning meals, etc. The past few weeks the sermons have been on marriage and how NOT to chose a husband or wife just based on external factors but looking at character, etc., but most especially through listening to God.

    Of course I don’t live in the U.S. so I’m blessed to be away from all that nonsense.
    The video was funny though. Well done in fact, but it seems like all that energy and effort would be better used in a production celebrating rather than making an extended complaint.

  99. empathologism

    That video is one of those things I cannot watch because I am embarrassed for the actors. I cringe at the seriousness. Large evangelical churches are full of wannabe singers and thespians who are there to ply their ……skills,

  100. Farm Boy

    Yet if a man says the world is a burden on him and complains, he’s a loser.

    The more complete definition of loser is, “A guy who does not induce tingles in females”

  101. Cautiously Pessimistic

    Adsignatos Day – “So when I start teaching classes on church doctrine and apologetics, I think it’s perfect to start dispensing with the red pill–perhaps filed under “Doctrine of Man”. Maybe I won’t reach the older folk, but I’m sure I can get a favorable response from the high school and college people.

    You may want to talk to Joseph of Jackson. He did something similar and ended up being thrown out of his church. No reason given nor needed. At the very least, knowing his story may let you skirt some of the issues he had.

  102. Looking Glass

    Joseph, who I hope shows back up here eventually (or at least gets in contact), made a tactical mistake. No amount of functionally operative Game can make up for being a decent Christian guy in the view of the people around you. Which is a nice way of saying he wasn’t willing to get brutal with him.

    The trick, if you’re getting the Star Chamber treatment, is to bring a gas can (2-3 gallons) and a road flare. You’re there to either make them accept you’re right (which you should be, before do anything like this) or they are (not you) going to burn the Church down themselves, as God is being defiled in that building and should not exist. I they want to play games, make them play for real.

    Then again, I’ve probably never been qualified as “nice”. “Kind”, yes; “nice”, no. Which is what hilarious when my not-“nice” reputation is completely due to stating the blatantly obvious.

  103. anonymous

    Probably the most disturbing part of the article was the facts within the slideshow at the end

    What I want to know is, how many of those kids have been “blessed” with little half-brothers or half-sisters who don’t really like much like Dad? Did Ashley Madison poll for THAT isssue?

  104. Farm Boy

    blessed with little half-brothers or half-sisters

    You must be one of those “the glass is half empty folks”

  105. tbc

    You know I’m not down on single moms… some women are single moms because they made stupid decisions when they were young and dumb. What I’m down on is pretending that they were forced into making said stupid decisions, that they are some how not responsible for those decisions, that those decisions should be celebrated, that the woman herself doesn’t carry any baggage from the stupid decision, and that “Christian Men” are somehow supposed to overlook all the costs and consequences of that stupid decision, she isn’t supposed to bear any cost at all.

    Stupid sinful mistakes are corrected by honest forthright repentance. THEN God may graciously bring a godly man into the picture — but it isn’t a right nor an entitlement. THAT is the problem with the church.

  106. Adsignatos Day

    @Cautiously Pessimistic – I am acutely aware of what happened to Joseph of Jackson. Thanks for the word of caution though, as his case does sound like something my church would say. Though strangely enough, a lot of the women are enthused when I talk about the subject as opposed to the men (I am Japanese and go to a church that has a large plurality of japanese people). I figure I can get the red pill “in” via the small groups before actually doing the classes though.

    I took over leading one and probably going to take over the Young Adults’ group very soon. My church is small-to-medium sized so I am aware of the people who are most likely going to confront me / pressure the pastors into excommunicating me.

    I have to say though, the notion of getting excommunicated for telling the truth and assisting both men and women doesn’t sound all that bad. Perhaps that’s the INTJ talking…

  107. Looking Glass

    @anon:

    That sounds like a bad Light Novel series from Japan. Oh wait, it’s already one of several. (Anime/Manga/Light Novel joke for anyone that gets it)

    @Adsignatos Day:

    Getting kicked out of a church for holding to historically held, consistent and Biblical positions is a great story to have. The process wouldn’t be fun, obviously, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of having happen. And, yes, it is the INTJ talking; note my point about gas cans, haha.

    It shouldn’t be any surprise that the women are more interested. They have nothing to lose and they’re sexually attracted to a man confidently putting them in their place. The guys don’t want to risk anything that could cause a reputation, so their position makes sense as well.

    My suggestion is to figure out people in the leadership that will be receptive and pick them off 1 by 1. You are being subversive, obviously, but you also have the Bible to stand on. Use that to your advantage, but be mindful to abuse the same systems that caused all of the problems in the first place. When attempting to break Men out of White Knightery, use White Knightery wording & implications.

  108. Adsignatos Day

    Thanks for the advice Looking Glass! Yeah, the women seem to give off the reaction of, “Wow, I can’t believe he said that! Why can’t more men just simply ‘get it’!” I’m also sure to tie everything that deals with husbands and wives back to the divine template of Christ and His Bride. In many ways I sympathize with the unwitting betas because I was one of them!

    I was your typical trad-con white knight that would’ve scoffed and berated blogs like these a few years ago!

    And the way I see it, if I am cast out for proclaiming the truth in love and doing so in order to help restore proper and Godly relations between men and women, it is an honor to be “socially cut off” for the Lord who became sin in our stead.

  109. Gilgamesh

    “One final thought: if I’m not mistaken, Ashley Madison is a pay site. What going to happen when Hubby finds an unexplained charge every month?”

    Nope, women can join for free (as usual)

  110. Tim

    Farm Boy wrote:

    “Strength and dignity

    We don’t see much of that these days, do we.

    And the government isn’t helping. “A slut in every pot”.”

    And a cock in every slut.

  111. Cail Corishev

    This article, and some of the additional quotes, back me up in laughing when I read a dating profile that says, “My kids are my life.” That may be the most overused phrase out there, and the least true. Put through the hamsterlator, I’m convinced that most of the time it means, “I’ll leave them with the crack dealer who lives down the street so I can come blow you, if you pick me up on your motorcycle.”

    Of course, there are some women for whom that statement would actually be true, but odds are they’re still married (or possibly widowed), or they’re too busy actually taking care of their kids to do much actual dating.

  112. Farm Boy

    And a cock in every slut.

    Believe it or not, sometimes sluts have more than one.

  113. sunshinemary

    Believe it or not, sometimes sluts have more than one.

    The woman who was the maid (ha!) of honor at my wedding cannot remember how many men she has allowed to screw her. The estimate is around a hundred but it could be more. She’s been pregnant by four different men that I know of, only one of whom she was married to, although she murdered three of those children in utero. She’s divorced of course after a brief marriage. She’s a couple years younger than I am and posts pictures of herself drinking at the bar with her divorcee friends. Sounds trashy, but she’s college educated and guess what she does?

    She’s a teacher. That’s right, the sweet, smiling 40-something woman who teaches little children their ABCs is a raging slut. Or at least trying to still be one.

  114. FuzzieWuzzie

    SSM,
    I have to presume that there has been a parting of the ways over The Maid of Honor’s dubious lifestyle choices. She’ll keep it up until she can’t do it anymore. The damage would be minimal if she confined herself to cads but, I don’t think that she is dicreet there either.
    It’s not her partner count that’s important but how may guys that she’s played that had honest intentions.

  115. Farm Boy

    Back in the olden days, school principals were always men; and one of their tasks was to make sure that all of the teachers were “good Christian women”. Times have changed.

  116. sunshinemary Post author

    @ FW

    have to presume that there has been a parting of the ways over The Maid of Honor’s dubious lifestyle choices

    After the second abortion, I backed off on our friendship. Eventually we lost touch, but then she found me on Facebook and I accepted her friend request, which is how I know about the drinking with her girlfriends photos. HHG saw her in Costco not long ago and said she looks okay but kind of haggard.

    @FB

    How did she get the job?

    Although she was always the sluttiest of my friends, we were still close. She was always funny and fun, the life of the party, a total extrovert (for some reason I attract extroverts like flies).

  117. Looking Glass

    @SSM:

    You’ve got good Linemen hips? Don’t get bowled over easily? (I’ll save further Football jokes, so much of the audience isn’t going to get the multiple level of jokes with them)

  118. Butterfly Flower

    What’s wrong with being an extrovert? Not all extroverted women are sluts. Nor are extroverts in general, are bad people :(

    IRL, I like to bug introverts ’cause they look unhappy. Like, if I’m at a party and there’s a quiet person sitting in the corner reading a book…I think “I must help this person have fun”! & than I drag them onto the dancefloor or something. The Electric Slide is way more fun than reading a book written by Evelyn Waugh!

    I guess I can see why introverts find us infuriating; but its not like our actions are malicious. We just want you introverts to not look so sad and quiet. If you guys looked more happy, we wouldn’t bug you as much!

  119. FuzzieWuzzie

    @SSM
    “HHG said that she looks OK but kind of haggard”
    Even if I were unaware of the lifestyle, it’s my observation that extended singleness is not healthy for women. It’s not healthy for men either but, women seem to be affected more deeply.

  120. Farm Boy

    We just want you introverts to not look so sad and quiet.

    We are happy the way that we are in worlds of our own making. My Mom tried to make me an extrovert; it did not work. But thirty years later, I can fake one.

  121. sunshinemary

    She was pretty enough, but not really hot. She would have been maybe a 7? But when she wasn’t really careful, she could get just a little overweight despite being in excellent shape. Not fat, just like a size 14, which knocks a girl down a point. But she had the most fantastic personality; when she talked to you, it seemed like you were the only person in the world. She charmed people, and even though men say personality doesn’t matter nearly as much as looks, I saw her personality draw in men time and time again. Also, I asked HHG once why he thought she always had so much male attention, and he said, “Because she’s easy.” Meaning easy to get in a bed. Ado Annie didn’t have nothin’ on my maid of dishonor. When I said she slept with a hundred men, that was a low estimate. In reality it could have been many more; she took pretty much all comers, I realize now. The very definition of a slut.

    Also, I should note that men tended to actually fall in love with her. Scads of guys wanted relationships with her, and she was always gun-ho for the first week or two, but then she would start to find fault with them about everything they did or said and would end up driving them away.

  122. Farm Boy

    So could a fella who was a 6 or 7 sleep around as much as she did?

    Indicative of the differences in the situation, isn’t it?

  123. sunshinemary

    Farm Boy, he could if he were a natural alpha. Definitely. I’ve seen pictures of some of the men who write game and pick-up artistry blogs. Some of them are average looking at best, but their charm and charisma draws women in. In fact, I would say men have far more leeway in the looks department than women do. If a man is homely but has good game, he could probably be a cad.

    Edit: Think of LAMPS. If he’s low on L, he’ll have to up the AMPS.

  124. donalgraeme

    “Edit: Think of LAMPS. If he’s low on L, he’ll have to up the AMPS.”

    That isn’t terribly difficult, especially since the P- Power- is the most powerful of the attributes. That is also the one which PUAs focus the most on “improving.”

    As for your friend, her inability to maintain a relationship is probably a result of her high N-count damaging her ability to emotionally bond. That plus toxic hypergamy which likely confused her about her SMV/MMV.

  125. Farm Boy

    high N-count

    At your wedding, was she a “Long Cool Women in a Black Dress”?

    [ssm: No, my bridesmaids wore dark green. She got very drunk at the reception and went home with a friend of ours who was watching our dog while we were on our honeymoon.]

  126. sunshinemary

    As for your friend, her inability to maintain a relationship is probably a result of her high N-count damaging her ability to emotionally bond. That plus toxic hypergamy which likely confused her about her SMV/MMV.

    You’re definitely right about her. Toward the end of our real-life friendship (we are only “facebook friends” now), she dated a handsome lawyer with a fun personality, scads of money, and a wonderful family. He loved her and wanted to marry her and keep her at home raising his babies, which is the exact kind of man she claimed to want. Yet she dumped him even though she was turning 30. “Why?” I asked her. “Why would you do this to a man who is nearly perfect for you?” She couldn’t really give me a good answer. She kind of shrugged and said, “Well, he was sort of boring in bed.” I couldn’t believe it. I figured something must have been really wrong with his sexual performance, so I pressed her on it. What was the problem? Pre-mature ejaculation? A weird fetish? He’ll get in the elevator but he won’t go down? What? But she couldn’t give me an answer other than a vague feeling she had that he was sort of a boring lay.

    Until I started reading in the manosphere, I was always baffled by what she had done, but I understand it now. I doubt if she will ever be able to bond with someone, especially since now she’s in her forties and isn’t attracting the high quality men she had when she was younger.

  127. Farm Boy

    watching our dog while we were on our honeymoon

    If only dogs could talk…

    [ssm: Thankfully they cannot. And hopefully they had the presence of mind to lock the dog out of the room. It's just weird having your dog sitting there looking at you during sex.]

  128. Farm Boy

    “Well, he was sort of boring in bed.”

    Many good guys that age are just starving for
    a girlfriend, and she dismisses him because of that.

    Too much power, at too young of an age.

    Yoda did not need to send Luke into a cave to see the Dark Side, all he had to do was conjure up a hologram of a young female.

  129. Farm Boy

    hopefully they had the presence of mind to lock the dog out of the room

    Your dog could turn doorknobs? Was his name Astro? Maybe he could talk after all.

  130. Wish I Were Dead

    @SSM:

    so many modern women are whores concerned only with their own pleasure

    …And don’t forget the fact they have no conscience about anything and will scruple at nothing. I just had the misfortune to read this: the vitriol of these women turned my stomach (and it’s clear that they really hate you, SSM, judging by their comments about you). Yet they’re the ones who are applauded in this sicko society, and it’s their ideas which set the tone in colleges and universities and the media and the courts and politics and Hollywood and the music industry and TV and everywhere. The whole drive is to try to turn all women into conscience-free whores.

    It’s unbearable. All I ever feel these days is despair. Most days I wish I were dead. I lie here in bed night after night, but I can’t sleep.

    Is there really a God in Heaven? Why is it that the wicked are triumphant and get every vile thing they want without being punished, while us idiots who still believe in doing good and strive to live right just get cr@pped on and become more and more bitter? Surely the former group should be burning in Hell, while the latter should be receiving some sort of Divine encouragement? God, if He exists, just doesn’t seem to care whether people are wicked or good.

    …And if the wicked get forgiven at the end of a life of selfish evil, just by changing their mind, saying a prayer and “accepting Jesus into their heart”, then they have not only savored the pleasures of lifelong sin but are rewarded with an eternity in paradise. …Whilst their victims, should they find themselves unable to forgive their oppressors, can expect Hell for eternity. If that’s the “Good News”, it’s a pile of dung.

    Sunshinemary, is this really what you believe?

  131. Pingback: Around the Web: The (tits and) ass end of the internet | Notes On Liberty

  132. Jared


    My mother’s greatest gift to me is her promise that she would slice me open and feed my entrails to buzzards if I ever tried to marry a single mom or a carousel riding slutwhore.

    I’ve learned to take her threats seriously.

    I wish to God my Mom had done the same for me. :(

  133. Carli Carrier

    My main issue with all of this, is the fact that cheating men are completely disregarded. Nowhere in this blog does it mention the harm and pain that it causes children when their father cheats. It doesn’t matter who it is, cheating hurts children and it hurts the parents as well. But why is it the highest moral sin for a mother to cheat, but daddy’s affair can be glossed over because he’s the man of the house? Any adultery is bad, and every adulterer should be held responsible for what they did. I’m from a divorced family and my mother worked at the same place for 35 yrs to give me and my sisters the best life she could. I idolize my mother. She is a working modern woman and is the epitome of kindness and poise.

  134. Farm Boy

    Thanks SSM,

    Us fellas haven’t eaten in a while.

    Nobody here likes cheating dads.

    But, oddly enough, that is normally what one heats about in the media. Now, let’s compare this to real life. In my case, five out of eight fellas at work have had a wife cheat on them, then divorce him for most of what he had. Oddly enough, theses guys were upright fellas with good incomes. Not enough tingles, it would seem

    Of course, you might suggest that this is just anecdotal evidence. But fellas have been comparing notes and they all seem to experience the same thing. How can that be? I will leave that for your rebuttal.

    Anyway, the laws are set up now so that a woman can have money and tingles too, just not necessarily from the same guy. Who would not want to take advantage of that.

    As fir your mother, I am sure that she is a fine lady. Just like my Mom. The problem is, they are from a different era.

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