Service with a smile.

So young, so ugly.  I don’t understand.  And not just ugly on the outside, but ugly on the inside, too.  What is the problem with making a sandwich for your man if he wants one?  He’s perfectly able to make it himself, of course; it isn’t like you’re so special and so much more capable than he is.  The reason you make it for him is because it’s an honor to serve him and it demonstrates your love, commitment, and gratitude.

In a recent comment thread, reader Lexi complained

I can tell you why I’m not married.
1) My job gives me more satisfaction than any of my relationships. My coworkers don’t bitch, moan, complain to me. They also don’t complain about me, at least not in front of me.
2) I’ve been at my current job for 5 years, since I graduated from college. That’s longer than any relationship I’ve been in. More stable, less bitching, less dealing with demanding significant others.
3) Nobody cares about how I look (I’m an engineer). I can go to work wearing flip flops and sweat pants and no one will bat an eye.
4) I don’t have to watch my weight. Nobody is going to deduct points from my review for gaining 10 pounds.
5) I don’t have to shower everyday, and that’s also not going on my review
6) I come home, and no one is bitching at me to cook for them.

In conclusion, why should I work all the day, come home, have to look nice, cook, clean, and also have sex with a husband?

The easy answer, Lexi, is that you shouldn’t.  You shouldn’t marry.  No one is trying to sell you on marriage here.  What we are saying is that if a woman wants to be married, or is already married, she should take care of her health and appearance and take joy in serving her husband.  Being fat, ugly, bitchy, bad-tempered, arrogant, self-centered, and unwilling to serve makes a woman poor wife material.

I have been surprised that people are suspicious that my gravatar image, which is my forty-something face, might be from like ten years ago or something.  At first I couldn’t tell if I was just being flattered by kindly commenters or what.  Naturally, I chose a picture that I actually looked good in, so maybe it makes me look better than I really do.  Here is my most recent Facebook picture, which was taken last winter; approximately the same age but I look less cute:

Sunshine Soft Light2

Yeah, straight across bangs are not so pretty as side-swept bangs on me; I clearly see that now.  Still, even though I’m dead-average looking and middle-aged to boot, I decided that I do look better than a lot of other middle-aged Midwestern women solely because I have generally followed Deti’s oft-given advice, which can be summed up as: Ladies, keep your weight down, your hair long, and your make up on.  Most middle-aged women can’t pull off the waist-length hair look; by long hair, I usually take that to mean never shorter than shoulder-length.

Anyway, my Plain Jane face notwithstanding, I get to feel like I’m young and hot-looking at 44 because this is what I’m competing with:

Losing weight is such a drag, believe me, I know that.  But the difference it makes in how a woman’s face looks, as well as her body, is astonishing.  Look at how much more feminine these ladies’ faces look:

I’m also surprised by how poor of care women will take care of their health.  Ladies: if you’ve got a cracked tooth, put some money aside each week until you can get it fixed.  Get those little middle-aged growths removed from your face.  Take care of yourself.

Anyway, in the spirit of improving ourselves, here is some more life advice, gleaned from my recent readings around the blogosphere:

Diet

I have never liked eating breakfast.  I feel nauseous when I do because it makes my digestion sluggish, but for years I forced myself to eat in the morning because “they” say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and eating it will help you lose weight.  The thing is, that never worked for me.  I ate just as much at lunch and dinner whether I had eaten breakfast or not.  I finally wised up and stopped eating breakfast; I just have tea or coffee.  Doing so has really helped me with weight loss goals and made me feel ever so much better.  That is why I was interested when Alte wrote a post explaining the The Hildegarde Diet, which includes fasting in the morning:

Breakfast: Fennel tea. Perhaps with a bit of raw honey in it, but preferably unsweetened.

That was it. She thought breakfast was a decadent habit for gluttons, that was best reserved for the physically ill, pregnant or nursing mothers, or young children. She also didn’t do “snacks” or meals late at night.

She also explained in Things I Love About Fasting that her husband likes this morning fast model, too:

Fasting is manlier. It just is. My husband looks a lot like Bill Henrickson and Bill Henrickson doesn’t diet. You can tell, just by looking at him, that he doesn’t diet. When he wants to lose weight, he goes running in the morning instead of eating breakfast. Suggesting to my husband that he “go and do likewise” worked, whereas suggesting that he track points or measure food just got him to double over in hysterical laughter.

Exercise

Recently, TemptestTcup wrote about starting to take Exercise more seriously, and she linked to something called the two hundred squats training program.  I clicked over to the site, and decided to give it a try. Ladies, join Tempest and me in this!  Squats firm up your rear end and your thighs, something most of us 30- and 40- something ladies probably need.  You start out with a pre-test to see how many squats you can do, and then you follow the weekly program at the right level, building up each week.

I was able to do 30 consecutive squats, so that put me in the “very good” category since I’m over 40.  I’ve finished week one; it wasn’t too bad, but my legs are shaky for an hour or so after I finish.

Sex

It’s a big topic. For today, we’ll just consider something that keeps coming up a lot around here.  Recently, Dalrock linked to his Yahoo! Answers profile, so I had a look.  He gives a lot of good advice, but perv that I am, I was immediately interested in one question that someone had posted entitled How can I RAPE my wife?

My wife told me that she has a Rape fantasy.She said she always dreamed about it . I am shocked. I don’t know what to say or do.  How can i handle this situation?

Dalrock linked him to an old post at CH, Play Rape:

Rape fantasy reflects a deep, inborn, uncompromising sexual desire by women to be rendered helpless, almost childlike, by a more powerful man. It is the submissive scrawling of their hindbrains, a message in a novel sailing forth from the female limbic labyrinth. And from submission to a dominant male force is born the strongest love.

I’m not recommending that anyone do this, but I thought it was an interesting read.  One thing that couples might want to consider though, is that men can generally be a lot more dominant and aggressive in the bedroom and it will often go over very well with the lady, by which I mean she will want it more often.  Conversely, a Christian site, The Generous Husband, explains how to give an hour-long orgasmic massage.  There is nothing wrong with his advice; he gives a decent explanation of how to touch a woman down there, but an hour?  Really?  I’d fall asleep.  And it seems so…I don’t know, supplicating somehow.  My husband just pins me down so that I can’t move, and I can usually get there in less than five minutes.  If you’re into hour-long massages, that’s your business and may you enjoy it, but for those of us who have neither the time nor the attention span for that, try a little consensual dominance and aggression.  There is nothing unChristian about that.

Relationships

Dr. Illusion writes, in Relationships, Oneitis, Game and your Mission:

Put down the smartphone. Turn off the Xbox and the TV. Go out and interact with people. Don’t drink in the corner alone, don’t hide behind a handheld computer. Talk to strangers. Talk to women. Join a group wherever you happen to find yourself. Just walk up to them and say hi. They aren’t the enemy. They aren’t aliens. They are just humans, like yourself. Break out of your shell and stop fantasizing about replacing human interaction with lifeless things.

His post is geared toward men, but it’s wise advice for women, too.

Family

One of my long-time readers (you know him as Anon, but he is using his name, Scott, as his handle now) and his wife have started a site called The Courtship Pledge.  From their site:

1. We believe “dating,” a flawed, and relatively new phenomenon, has degraded the search for a marriage partner down to the pursuit of romantic love (only).
2. Dating has surrendered what is arguably the most important decision a person will make entirely to that very young, and mostly lacking wisdom person–with almost no parental involvement.
3. We believe that families should make this decision together.
4. We believe the current system for finding a marriage partner has been a (not the only) root cause of rising illegitimacy rates, divorce, needless suffering of children, and a general decline in the sanctity of marriage.
5. We believe this problem can be solved through attacking it on many fronts–this is just one.
6. We believe this problem can and should be solved without the government.
7. We have a Christian worldview, so if you are not Christian, we wish you luck in your endeavors in life, but if you read on, you will see why this is only for Christian couples with children.
8. We believe a community of like-minded individuals can and will, God willing bring marriage back to its original purpose–providing a stable environment for the raising of children, companionship (using the complementarian helpmeet/leader model) and the glorification of God.
9. We believe that the pursuit of romantic love is best found within the context of marriage, but is not its primary purpose.

A site like this is long overdue.  As Christian parents, we have a responsibility to help our children navigate the MMP (marriage market place) minefield.

Fashion

  Ladies, it’s time to bring back hats and gloves.  Past time, actually.  Even feminists look better in dresses, hats, and gloves:

Girls, if we all work together on this, we can do it!  All fashion trends get started somehow.

Cooking

In the last thread, Ton was talking about a recent date he had with a woman:

…the girl I’m into for the now has big Brown eyes, the best boobs I’ve ever seen and made three different versions of lasagna for me on one date night….

Ladies, men can cook for themselves, they really can.  My husband is an excellent cook.  Don’t flatter yourself that you are doing something for him that he cannot do for himself.  A better attitude to take is that you have the privilege of serving him.  To that end, I think an important part of Girl Game is kitchen skillz and a willingness to prepare and serve food to the man who is the object of your affections.  Ton mentioned lasagna, which is fine, but many of us need to avoid pasta because of the carbs.  Try my recipe instead, in which thin slices of zucchini replace the lasagna noodles.  I just made this up one day, so feel free to change it up to suit your man’s preferences:

Zucchini “Lasagna”

  • 4 large zucchini    1 t salt  1 t oregano  3 cloves garlic, chopped    1 t pepper     3/4 c water
  • 2 medium onions, chopped     2 28-oz can pureed tomatoes         1 c ricotta cheese
  • 1 tube ground Italian sausage    1.5 c mozzarella cheese      1/2 pound mushrooms, sliced
  1. Cut zucchini into thin slices, lengthwise.
  2. Saute onions, garlic and sausage in water until onions are golden and sausage is cooked.
  3. Layer 1/3 zucchini slices in a shallow casserole pan.
  4. Mix 1 c mozzarella cheese and ricotta cheese.  Spread 1/3 over zucchini.
  5. Layer 1/3 of mushroom slices
  6. Combine herbs and spices in a cup.  Sprinkle 1/3 over zucchini, cheese, and mushroom layer.
  7. Layer 1/3 of onion/garlic/sausage mixture and 1/3 can of tomato puree.
  8. Repeat until you have three layers.  Finish by topping with 1/2 c shredded mozzarella cheese.
  9. Bake in the oven at 350 F for about an hour.

While it is baking, go put on a pretty dress and some lipstick.  Serve the lasagna to him with red wine and a smile.

234 thoughts on “Service with a smile.

  1. Farm Boy

    At first I thought Lexi might be a man. Probably she picked some bad boys that made her tingle.

    Chick engineers almost never are satisfied with engineering long term. Though, through affirmative action, they usually move into management. Then they are sort of happy. At least they make money.

  2. Farm Boy

    The person in the top picture has the trifecta, bra strap, tramp stamp, and as big as a house.

  3. Looking Glass

    On Diet:

    LeanGains. It works very well. Intermittent Fasting works very, very well, and, yes, it’s a bit more manlier of a dieting system.

  4. Looking Glass

    @Farm Boy:

    Lexi sounds a little more like a stereotypical troll, or one brought up to act like such in real life. That reads like a caricature, but I really couldn’t say either way.

    But, if it is real, there’s not a lick of humility in that post and it reads all like projection. I wouldn’t want to wife that up, which is probably why the self-deception is high.

  5. theshadowedknight

    Here, here! This is it, ladies. Pay attention.

    Oh, and just remember, the sandwich is your version of spider killing. If you are not willing to do a little bit of work in the safety of the kitchen, why would we go kill the multiple legged invaders you so fear? You are not the ones that have to go find out what made that sound with a pistol in the wee hours of the morning, so show some appreciation.

    We are a big, loving insurance plan, so pay the premiums, or you may find yourself dropped from coverage. Give us our kisses and care, and we will be there when you need us.

    The Shadowed Knight

    [ssm: LOL at sandwiches = spider-killing. Though for me, it isn't spiders that I fear; I'll scoop those up and toss them outside with nary a shriek nor a scream. It's...wasps. And hornets. They're...so horrible, the stuff of nightmares. *shudder* And because our house backs up to some woods, we have a lot of them. I become irrational and hysterical when they get in the house. My husband has great wasp-swatting game, and I show him the proper level of gratitude for it.]

  6. Butterfly Flower

    As a naturally petite woman I am infuriated by the prevalence of vanity sizing in American clothing lines.

    Quick History lesson:

    American dresses sizes used to be standardized until the mid seventies, when a law was passed to deregulate dress sizes. Designers had figured out that women are willing to pay more for clothes if you convince them they are a lower dress size. Sizes zero and two were invented in the 1980′s to take the places of the vintage size four and six.

    I hate hearing “Size zero isn’t a size” because modern size zero has the same exact measurements as the perfectly healthy vintage size four.

  7. Frank

    Put down the smartphone. Turn off the Xbox and the TV. Go out and interact with people. Don’t drink in the corner alone, don’t hide behind a handheld computer. Talk to strangers. Talk to women.

    This is one of the reasons why I want to get a dog, and a dog with very distinctive looks. The one experience I had at a dog park, dogsitting for a friend many, many moons ago I had no less than 10 different conversations by 10 different women. It provides a great pretext and really takes the sting out of cold approaches, especially for those of us who are naturally introverted. Dogs are social animals and have a natural ability to encourage you to get out of your shell as well.

  8. Butterfly Flower

    Oh, and just remember, the sandwich is your version of spider killing. If you are not willing to do a little bit of work in the safety of the kitchen, why would we go kill the multiple legged invaders you so fear?

    Creepy Crawly Management (aka squishing icky bugs) is definitely an important marriage dynamic.

    I’m not sure if my husband expects anything specific in return. I usually just kiss him *blushes* and call him my hero. In general, I think my hubby just wants me to continue being a kind caring wife. Isn’t that what all married men want from their wives?

  9. Lori Alexander

    One of my sons brought home the cutest, young girl several years ago. He is looking for a wife! I was asking her questions and to one of them she responded, “I hate to cook!” It was at that moment, my son told me later that he was not interested in her at all!

  10. theshadowedknight

    A great way to clean up wasps is to fill a dish with a mixture of honey and dish soap. Leave an entrance like a plastic wrap cover with a hole cut into it. They wander in, find the honey, the dish soap poisons them, and they cannot escape. We have a similar problem where I grew up, and we could get dozens in a few hours.

    I have been stung a few times, including one time right next to my eye, but I am not afraid of them. Give a little boy some bug spray and it is like handing him a sword and telling him to go fight tiny dragons. Fond memories of glorious combat against my aerial nemeses. The joy of victory, the agony of a sting, and the satisfaction of defending my castle against my foes.

    The Shadowed Knight

  11. sunshinemary Post author

    In addition to squats, girls, may I also recommend the humble sit-up? This seems to have fallen by the wayside, but I decided this past winter to start doing your basic, everyday sit-ups. The first day, I couldn’t even do ten – it was awful. If you’ve had kids, your abdominals are probably a stretched out mess like mine, but persevere! I’m up to 80 sit-ups now, in sets of ten with a twenty second rest in between each set. I’m never going to be a swim suit model, given my stretch marks and c-section scar, but my tummy has toned up considerably since I started this.

    Ladies: your man doesn’t expect perfection, you know. What he wants is you to make the effort. You’ll have some results, and he’ll like that. HHG isn’t expecting me to look like I did when he married me; he’s never going to be able to bounce a quarter off my tummy, but I can still work on making myself as healthy, fit, and pretty as possible. You can, too.

  12. theshadowedknight

    See, BF, that is how you do it. It may just be a bug he squashed, but when you treat him like that, he feels like a king. There is not words to describe the feelings that feminine gratitude arouses.

    Yesterday I watched Pacific Rim, and there is a part where a man saved a little girl from this giant monster. She is terrified and alone, sobbing her eyes out, and then she looks up and sees him. The monster is lying in pieces at his feet. He climbs out of his armor with the sun at his back and she gives him the most incredible smile ever… I would low crawl over coals naked for a woman who looks at me like that. Good movie, and I recommend it highly.

    The Shadowed Knight

  13. theshadowedknight

    Sit-ups are actually kind of bad for your back , and do not hit the entire abdominal area. Squats with weight actually do a better job because you have to stabilize the spine with your core. Planks and vee-sits round you out nicely.

    The Shadowed Knight

  14. TempestTcup

    “The reason you make it for him is because it’s an honor to serve him and it demonstrates your love, commitment, and gratitude.”

    Since finding this little corner of the web & learning to respect & serve my husband (I know, I shouldn’t have had to learn those things, but I did) my efforts have paid off 10-fold. I am the happiest that I have ever been in my entire life.

    Also, the back of my thighs & my butt hurts so bad the days after I do the 200 squat program; I must really need it!

  15. Lisa in Vermont

    @Butterfly Flower
    As a naturally petite woman I am infuriated by the prevalence of vanity sizing in American clothing lines.

    This is my pet peeve, too. I’ve been thin for a while, but recently switched up my fitness routine and lost several pounds and inches so my measurements are now 34″, 24.5″, 34.” In Italy I’d be a size 34 (I visit fairly regularly to see family), but here in the U.S. I could be a size 0, or a 2, or a 4, depending on the brand. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.

    @Sunshine Mary

    I agree concerning the squats. You’ll definitely see a difference within a few weeks. It will help you avoid the dreaded “mom butt” that’s so common on women our age. It’s where a woman’s butt is flat and shapeless and hangs down on the back of her thighs.

    I just got back from a week-long vacation with my sisters on Cape Cod. While sitting on the beach, I noticed that even thin women like ourselves tend to have mom butt. You can run 10 miles a day and still have it if you don’t do any strength training.

    Most men find a nicely shaped backside extremely alluring. My hubby is always pinching mine and won’t let me go out for a jog without wearing a running skirt over my tights b/c he doesn’t want men looking at me. I think that’s kind of sweet.

    Regarding sandwiches:

    This is an American problem. No well-trained Italian woman would expect her husband to make his own sandwiches. My dad is 67 and I don’t think he’s ever made one for himself except for maybe when he was briefly single.

    I enjoy making special sandwiches for my husband. Today I made him a grilled steak sandwich with gorgonzola cheese and a homemade spread on a baguette.

  16. Farm Boy

    Guys these days are expected to bring tingles for sure and provisioning is expected to. What do modern women bring to the table?

  17. Farm Boy

    I will give the person in the topmost picture credit. She does have her hair long.

    [ssm: Yes, her hair could be lovely and her best asset, but notice how even that she goes out of her way to make ugly by doing that weird thing to her bangs.]

  18. Lisa in Vermont

    @Farmboy
    Guys these days are expected to bring tingles for sure and provisioning is expected to. What do modern women bring to the table?

    Sandwiches, some good meals, and if he’s lucky, maybe a special dessert :)

  19. Saint Velvet

    Grande plie, in first and second, work everything from your core to your calves, and work that stubborn inner thigh. I make sure my husband catches me doing them. Also wellness mama (hope you don’t mind me mentioning another gal blogger Ssm) has in her archives an excellent tutorial on pelvic floor exercises. If you’ve popped out any babies by the conventional route you owe it to yourself and your husband to do them. It’s great for your core too.

    [ssm: Link, please - one's pelvic floor should under no circumstances be neglected! Here is what I have done for the past 13 years: I do kegels at red lights. No joke, every red light. I don't have that annoying problem that so many of my mom-friends have of doing a little pee pee every time they sneeze, and I credit the kegels with this.]

  20. rmaxgenactivepua

    Muslims refuse to give in to feminist demands … I particularly love the ““Show her how she had a role in what happened to her.” if she pisses off the husband, in the real world if you talk smack to a man, you get the crap beaten out of you …

    Guess what ladies, the same thing happens to wives … if you talk smack to your husband in 80% of the world the wife gets a smack down … of course this doesnt happen in the Pussified States of America …

    I also love the muslim “there is no such thing as marital rape”, if you dont want to have sex with your husband, dont get married …

    The muslim tradition on women, is spot on when it comes to women

    Anyway …

    “A woman needs to be confined within a framework that is controlled by the man of the house,” Osama Yehia Abu Salama, a Brotherhood family expert, said. Even if a wife were beaten by her husband, he advised,“Show her how she had a role in what happened to her.”

    “And there is no such thing as marital rape because a husband is entitled to have sex with his wife any time that he wants.”

    “If he is to blame,” Mr. Abu Salama added,“she shares 30 percent or 40 percent of the fault.”

    In a statement Wednesday on a proposed United Nations declaration to condemn violence against women, the Brotherhood issued a list of objections, which formally laid out its views on women for the first time since it came to power.

    In its statement, the Brotherhood said that wives should not have the right to file legal complaints against their husbands for rape, and husbands should not be subject to the punishments meted out for the rape of a stranger.

    A husband must have “guardianship” over his wife, not an equal “partnership” with her, the group declared. Daughters should not have the same inheritance rights as sons. Nor should the law cancel “the need for a husband’s consent in matters like travel, work or use of contraception”

    But Mr. Abu Salama also argued that husbands should keep their wives under tight control.“It’s the nature of the weak to overstep the required framework if she is given the space and the freedom, like children,” he said in the seminar. Most of the women nodded in agreement.

    Closing its statement on the proposed United Nations declaration, the Brotherhood appeared to go even further. The provisions discussed are “destructive tools meant to undermine the family as an important institution,” the statement concluded, and “would drag society back to pre-Islamic ignorance.”

    Indeed it would, its a good thing they avoid it all costs …

  21. dannyfrom504

    I pray with my eternal soul that I find a woman as wonderful as you big Sis.

    If she crosses my path, I’ll not let her slip through my fingers.

    Great post as usual Mary.

    [ssm: Thanks, Danny!]

  22. Farm Boy

    Sandwiches, some good meals, and if he’s lucky, maybe a special dessert

    Where can one find such a woman?

    Women sure are relying on their one big ass(et). I wonder if that is not a bubble market…

  23. Farm Boy

    Ladies, it’s time to bring back hats

    I just love hats on chicks. What a turn on.

    Disclaimer: this does not include baseball caps.

  24. Saint Velvet

    If you’re husband is so inclined, participating in a sport together is a great way to spend time together and admire his body while you’re improving your own. We play tennis every week, and he’ll go riding with me if we’re working the hunting horses. It’s a win win. It’s more fun than doing 100 crunches by yourself in the basement.

  25. sunshinemary Post author

    LiV

    It will help you avoid the dreaded “mom butt” that’s so common on women our age. It’s where a woman’s butt is flat and shapeless and hangs down on the back of her thighs.

    Oh, you mean this?

    Yep. I’m never gonna have this girl’s booty, but I’m hoping the squats will at least move me in that direction:

  26. Farm Boy

    SSM,

    You are inadvertantly making the case for artificial companions.

    Maybe they should do a robocop type of thing where they put a dog’s brain in an artificial woman’s body. The companion would be loyal and always happy to see you.

    Once again, in honor of Detroit’s bankruptcy, “I’d buy that for a dollar”

    P.S. the robocop statue is progressing nicely,

    http://mobile.avclub.com/articles/detroits-robocop-statue-is-almost-done-and-its-god,97725/?mobile=true

    http://detroitneedsrobocop.com/

  27. chokingonredpills

    SSM:

    You’re not a plain Jane, You’ve looked after yourself well. Your husband must be proud of you.

    Farm Boy:

    Bra straps. They are everywhere now. Ditto wide sleeves and tops that shows way, way, way too much skin. It wasn’t like that ten years ago.

  28. chokingonredpills

    BTW, I feel that breakfast is absolutely necessary because it keeps me going for the rest of the day (especially at work). It’s dinner that I usually skip (or if I am extremely hungry, I’ll drink a glass of milk).

  29. Farm Boy

    Bra straps. They are everywhere now

    Are they industrial grade these days? To support the increasing load with room for future growth?

  30. Ton

    If a woman puts zucchini in my lasagna she won’t sit comfortably for a week……

    Not only can I cook, I am an outstanding Italian cook. My roommate is an ancient Italian woman, born in Italy. She takes care of my domestic needs, teaches me how to cook, maintains my home when I am gone etc and lives with me rent free. Here’s where the story gets more in depth. The lady I live with is M, the lady I’m smitten with is D. I’ve known M my whole life and I cried a fucking river when her husband died. I love her more then my mother. I don’t recall telling D I like lasagna, but she remembered…. now fast forward in my fast paced relationship and M has taken to teaching D how to cook her way ( my favorite way) @ D’ s request. Any rate, the domestic actions of both these girls mean the world to me. D isn’t the prettiest girl I’ve dated, but she has amazing girl game ( & a rack that stopped me in mid….). These girls will get more from me then any feminists or govt could compel me to. Like if they needed a kidney, I’d depopulate villages until they got a match. As I say, girl game could rule the world.

    A man kills wasps with WD-40 & a cigar lighter.

    Frank think about getting a Great Dane. My Danes made approaches for me and everyone loves the big goofy bastards.

  31. thehap

    @Farm Boy: The baseball cap/ponytail combo can be extremely cute if the girl is somewhat ‘sporty’.

  32. thehap

    Vacationing in Detroit? Isn’t that more like going on Safari or playing The Walking Dead in real life?

  33. sunshinemary Post author

    Bra straps. They are everywhere now

    It’s like women don’t even try anymore, especially the young ones.

    Middle-aged ladies, remember when we used to use these when wearing sleeveless sundresses so that our bras wouldn’t show?

    Why don’t girls buy those clips anymore? Now I see this everywhere:

    So tacky.

  34. Farm Boy

    she goes out of her way to make ugly by doing that weird thing to her bangs

    They look like a feed water heater on a steam locomotive.

    Perhaps it is where she hides her insulin pump

    [ssm: I think she's trying to do the Dita von Teese look:


    I think Dita von Teese is ugly. HHG says she has the face of a 4 or 5 but the body of a 9.5, so I guess that explains the appeal.]

  35. theshadowedknight

    No one takes pride in their appearance anymore. I wear slacks and either a polo or short sleeve button up and look better than most men. They like to wear jeans and a tee with some brand on it, and maybe a baseball cap or worse, a fitted cap… Where are the suits, where are the fedoras? No work placed in their apparel, the part the world sees first.

    Now women… Do not get me started. Bra straps are just one aspect. No effort to look good, nothing beyond pure sexuality or jeans and a blouse. Why bother to look nice for the men when you can stun one with half exposed breasts and lead him home. Personality or charm? Ummm, no.

    This goes for both sexes: class is not only for students.

    The Shadowed Knight

  36. Looking Glass

    @SSM:

    Realistically, the ability to do about 30 body weight squats is really all that’s going to be valuable. The options are either make them harder with weights (needs a gym & proper form) or difficulty. If you don’t want to do Pistol Squats, might I suggest Depth Jumps?

    Also, better Butt? Deadlifts. All about the Deadlifts. Deadlifts are also the biggest stresser on the “core” muscles you’ll find.

    [Side Note: Most low weight/no weight exercises don't progress much passed 12 reps. You have to take it to obscene jumps to gain much strength or muscle mass. I'll give a shout out to the resources, here: http://www.eatmoveimprove.com/ ]

    And since we’re on Diet, an important point for everyone: Your body is a *bio-chemical* machine. This means the composition (not just caloric value), timing and duration of what you eat are very, very important to the physical outcome of the food. Even before genetic factors. You can stay stable, lose weight or gain weight on the exact same food, just by varying timing factors. Keep that in mind. :)

  37. earl

    I heartily endorse squats for women as well…it is an exercise that works 90% of your muscles. Men it should be a no-brainer. If there is one exercise you need to do…it’s squats.

    I am currently putting myself through a two month hell doing one set of 20 squats 3 times a week. Adding 5 pounds each time. The mental strain going through it is just as much as the physical. Once I hit 17 or 18…it’s a battle between my body saying “no” and my brain saying “we’re doing this”. When I’m done…I drop to my knee in both agonizing pain and blissful euphoria. It’s probably the closest thing I can have to sex without it being a mortal sin.

    It has re-energized me.

  38. Dr. Faust

    I just got back from a trip to walmart. I was playing the game called “spot the hobo.” The rules are that if someone would be considered a hobo in the 50s by the average american then they win. Their prize is a hose, some soap, and some diet pills. EVERYONE IN THE STORE WON! No one dressed well. No one took care of their hair. Nearly everyone was overweight. I hate to complain about this but I don’t want to live in a world like this. Fat and unkempt is all I see. The rare exception is usually some young, thin girl staring around at her peers in bemusement, wondering when everyone turned into barnyard animals.

  39. Farm Boy

    Can we all just agree that everything was better in the past. I feel like an anachronism.

    Not really. Technology is way better now.

  40. Dr. Faust

    Not really. Technology is way better now.

    Everyone buried in their cell phones, disconnected from reality, living out virtual lives of emotionless sparsity. Whatever we gain with technology we lose. I think the amish have the right idea but are operating in the wrong era. There should be a 50s version of the amish where we all agree to abstain from technology that wasn’t available in the 50s and revert back to that style of dress and culture.

  41. sunshinemary Post author

    I hate to complain about this but I don’t want to live in a world like this. Fat and unkempt is all I see.

    I hear ya, Dr. Faust, I really do. Ah, to go back to the days when women dressed like this:

    We can’t go back in time, of course, but a modern version of this could be possible. It would involve women getting out their exercise pants, though, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.

  42. Lisa in Vermont

    @Earl
    Men it should be a no-brainer. If there is one exercise you need to do…it’s squats.

    If your goal is to add more weight, I’d recommend doing squats with a Smith machine. It will help you keep your form and it will also prevent you from losing your balance. I’m a klutz so I almost always use one when doing weighted squats to prevent an embarrassing stumble.

  43. Ton

    If you want to learn how to squat properly you tube Dave Tate you think you can squat.

    See you think you can squat but your form sucks. I can see it from here.

    I’d be dead three times over 50 years ago… so no thanks.

  44. thehap

    @SSM: Ah, pointy boobs. Miss them (I grew up on classic movies) :)

    @earl: are you doing 5×5? I am on week 6.

    Regarding Detroit, this is a must watch: http://youtu.be/l4ZQooPHHAA

    Ladies, if you want to get really nice hips and thighs, try the Romanian deadlift. It is a bit tricky, but works entirely on hamstring, butt, and lower back.

  45. thehap

    @Lisa: Smith machine=bad. Part of the reason you do squats unassisted is so that you develop all those little helper muscles that help you keep your balance and keep good form.

  46. Dr. Faust

    I don’t expect everyone to be young and beautiful but c’mon what is wrong with these people? It’s about self-respect.

    I was out riding my bike the other day and I saw a 70 year old man dressed in a suit and cap while WALKING HIS DOG. I waved and smiled to him because he deserved it.

  47. Miserman

    What would be more hurtful / disrespectful? To ask a wife / girlfriend to make her man a sandwich or let her know that she is not at all needed for anything in the marriage / relationship.

  48. earl

    “@earl: are you doing 5×5? I am on week 6.”

    I do for heavier weights. But 1 X 20…is way lighter weights.

    “See you think you can squat but your form sucks. I can see it from here.”

    Squat form is an art in and of itself.

  49. Farm Boy

    No, I make you a salad.

    She should make her own salad. Pick her own tomatoes, etc. Exercise would be good. She would maybe appreciate things more. People need the humility of the olden days.

  50. Andy

    Attractive women are never feminists. Says it all really.

    Women to men are like pizza. Pizza is different but all good. Unless you ruin it, then no one will eat it. Feminists are burnt pizza.

    Ps you are hot.

  51. Pingback: Service with a smile. | Viva La Manosphere!

  52. Farm Boy

    Attractive women are never feminists

    Attractive women are never explicitly feminists

  53. allamagoosa

    SSM – Why don’t girls buy those clips anymore?

    Where do I acquire those? I’ve never seen them.

    BF – As a naturally petite woman I am infuriated by the prevalence of vanity sizing in American clothing lines.

    Preach it sister, I have to shop in the teen section because an x-small in even the petite women’s section is too big. As for number sizes I vary from a 0 to a 6. My friends may be taking me dress shopping on Sunday. I’d be looking forward to it if it weren’t for the fact that it is likely to be a disappointing trip. I do a shirt and skirt combination more than anything else because dresses rarely fit me right.

    [ssm: Sensational accessory you're wearing.]

  54. Farm Boy

    @thehap

    I posted that video on a previous thread. I am sure that is what convinced SSM to vacation in Detroit.

    [ssm LOL @ vacationing in Detroit. Actually, we're heading up to the Mackinawc Bridge first, then St. Ignace, then Traverse City. The goal is to leave Sunday afternoon.]

  55. theshadowedknight

    Thehap is correct. The Smith and Nautilus machines and any derivatives thereof are Satan’s contribution to the gymnasium. They are to lifting what feminism is to society. The only machine that belongs in the gym is the lat pulldown machine. If you cannot move the interaction point in all three dimensions, it is evil. So sayeth the Ripptoe, so sayeth we all.

    The Shadowed Knight

  56. Hurting

    No specific suggestions here, just a general maxim…

    Ladies, work as hard on the things your man values from you as you expect him to perform on the things you value from him, and understand that those things you expect/appreciate from him might very well be alternatively stressful/boring, possibly dangerous and without certainty as to the payoff in the end.

    If there were a silver bullet it would be: give up the nookie enthusiastically when he asks for it.

    It should not be this hard.

  57. Farm Boy

    If there were a silver bullet it would be: give up the nookie enthusiastically when he asks for it.

    It should not be this hard.

    Correct. Women are messing with their one remaining asset.

  58. William Newman

    Dr. Faust wrote (of clothing, and in praise of wearing a suit while walking the dog) “It’s about self-respect.”

    Well, I don’t even need to go to Wal-Mart to find unmistakable slovenliness, and many things which are merely *probable* slovenliness, and I’m not going to try to defend that. But there’s also honest casualness, and unless you’ve taken unusual care to cross-check your guesses about self-respect (and discipline and so forth) against unforgiving measures of performance, you may be underestimating the deserved self-respect of some of those casual folk. I’ve seen groups of people in unforgiving specialties — e.g., a group of USAF pilots — that looked sharp, and that’s nice, but it’s not the only way to have self-respect.

    One particularly bored fidgeting 9-year-old Ukrainian kid in a t-shirt sticks in my mind as a contrast between actual performance and people’s stereotypes about seriousness and self-presentation. I’m a tolerably serious player of Go (vaguely comparable to playing Chess), and that little fellow utterly crushed me in the first round and then went undefeated for the rest of the US national tournament as the computer matched him against stronger and stronger opponents looking unsuccessfully for someone who might be his strength. Another might be my unassuming sophomore physics professor dressed in, among other things, socks and sandals. He was an unusually good instructor in a subtle and tricky subject, and later won the Nobel prize for his research. And those casually dressed layabouts in the IP Security working group at the IETF meeting? Quite a few of them are scary good at their demanding and unforgiving specialty. It might do these people no harm to be more stylish, but underestimate them at your peril: whatever is going on in their heads, it’s probably not as simple as lack of self-respect.

    That said, there are various kinds of slovenliness and probable slovenliness that I routinely see at Wal-Mart but that I don’t see among people that are damned good at unforgiving things. So I can tentatively agree that sometimes self-respect (and discipline, etc.) can show through reliably even in very casual dress, and disagree merely about where the reliable boundary line is.

  59. Morvena

    People really seem to undervalue diet and portion control vs. exercising when it comes to losing weight. I’ve gone the WW route since it helps me personally to have some guidelines to follow and I was amazed at how quickly I dropped weight when I stuck to it. Exercise (which is my weak point, I hate most things aside from walking and swimming) is for building muscle tone and stamina and should compliment a proper diet, which most people don’t seem to get. I had all kinds of women at work asking me what I was doing to lose weight and just kinda….looked at me when I told them how it worked; I guess they were expecting some sort of miracle suggestion. Even just cutting out soda can make a big difference.

    Having a partner to help keep you accountable is a big bonus if you’re afraid that you won’t have the discipline to keep up your routine. This is ideally your husband but it can be a friend or other family members. My in-laws have lost weight by doing the calorie-counting thing; it’s worked for them because they keep each other accountable and they made a game of it.

    Hats are awesome! I’ve lamented the fact that hats aside from ball caps aren’t really that popular anymore, at least not around here. The only time I see many are “special” church days like Easter and it’s almost always the elderly women who have them on. I’ve toyed with getting a big floppy sun hat to go with some of my summery dresses but always dismissed it on the grounds that I’m not actually out in the sun enough for it to be a worthwhile purchase….maybe I should do it anyway.

    Speaking of the sun, I’m curious on both male and female opinion: tanning. Yes or no?

    On cooking: I’m admittedly a big slacker on this front, partly because I’m content to eat soup and sammiches if I’m the only one around and partly because our work schedules are erratic enough that it makes it hard to plan or know if I’d need to cook something or not. I have eased into things a little by making gazpacho….which I found delicious but my husband said smelled like burning rubber. I also agree with the consensus that men are perfectly able to cook for themselves if they want to or have, and (sshh) some actually enjoy it! I don’t get the stereotype that men who cook are automatically gay….I mean sure, some of them are (I got my gazpacho recipe from a gay friend) but not always. Heck, both my husband and his father apparently know how to make a mean French silk pie, for example.

    On bra straps and similar things: I’m really glad that I’m not alone in finding visible bra strap to be tacky. I’m also of the opinion that bare midriffs are tacky unless you’re at the beach or maybe working out. It’s also silly that people would rather spend their lives in yoga pants and go to class in their pajamas. When I dress up, I feel better! I feel confident, I feel productive, I feel *pretty*! Usually just wearing a dress and some nice heels is enough. I might be the exception around this particular circle, but even though I’ve discovered a love for dresses, I still enjoy wearing jeans – so I pair them with a nice blouse, some cute shoes, and some tasteful jewelry. People will notice if you put in the effort. Oh, and a personal pet peeve – don’t pass up on a flattering dress or top just because the neckline dips a little low for comfort. I run into this a lot since v-necks are my neckline of choice, so I layer a cami or tank top of an appropriate color under them and I’m fine. You can do it too. Yes, even in the summer; it’s not that bad, I promise.

  60. Kate

    Kudos to you for staying fit and nice-looking, SSM. I’m 34 (about a month away from 35) and I got whistled at on the street a couple weeks ago. lol The most important thing an older woman can have is style. I have changed to become so much more feminine since Stingray and I enacted the pants ban last year around this time. (Just to clarify, the pants ban was to decrease the amount of time we wore pants/shorts/capris/anything that was not a skirt or dress.) I find differences not only in my behavior but in how people treat me. I also started wearing a big white straw hat last summer to protect my face. Between that and a nice pair of Guess sunglasses, no matter what one’s face looks like, one looks nice. Add in a dress and the long hair and one feels pretty good! I also have to say that the male posters and commenters are incredibly helpful in motivating me to keep up with my workout routine. Getting that glimpse into their mind of how much they detest fat and how they appreciate how especially an older woman can keep it together makes me want to be that woman! For a long, long time.

  61. Dr. Faust

    The problem I have with unkempt people is that it seems to be a uniform now. It’s normal to look like a bum. You fit in.

    I mentioned last night that our society celebrates everything wrong. We celebrate ugliness and dirtiness. We celebrate deviants and criminals. Homosexuals are a small outlier of the country and yet we’ve totally conformed the entire world to suit them while at the same time denigrating the mainstream. That’s just one example. Another example is how we dress. This is a nation which has turned from everything good. Not only turned from good but celebrates evil. That picture of the women in the top is someone who celebrates ugliness. She’s done her best to make herself ugly as possible and is proudly displaying it.

    The inversion of Christ would be Satan. The satanists flip the cross upside down, invert all of God’s laws, call Satan the savior of earth, consider Lucifer the hero in the garden of the Eden. We’ve literally inverted everything in society. If it’s bad it’s praised. I’m just waiting for the pedophiles to start their own civil rights movement.

  62. Ton

    Most days I dress like the hell’s angles kicked me out for failing to live up to the dress code.

    To say I have no self respect or discipline is beyond silly. What I do have is a life based in measurable

  63. Paul Byerly

    “try a little consensual dominance and aggression. There is nothing unChristian about that”

    Nope, there isn’t. Then again a long massage with a vibe on low in her panties can be a nice bit of torment. ;-)

    What ever floats the little man in her boat!

    [ssm: LOL, good comment. Welcome Mr. Byerly, aka The Generous Husband. By the way, I wasn't criticizing the massage technique. I just have a short attention span.]

  64. Ton

    Most days I dress like the hell’s angles kicked me out for failing to live up to the dress code.

    To say I have no self respect or discipline is beyond silly. I train more in a day then most men do in a week. i have no debt, single digit body fat…

    What I do have is a life based in measurable performance criteria, and chicks dig the Stetson and Hawaiian shirt combo, though I have no idea why

  65. embracingourfemininity

    I really enjoyed this post. Lots of very valuable advice for us women. Thank you.

    Also.. you are definitely not a plain Jane. You look lovely.

    [ssm: Thank you, my dear!]

  66. Frank

    I HATE doing aerobics (jogging on a treadmill makes me feel like a…. wait for iiiiiiit… hamster)

    Instead I do a sort of compromise, a lower intensity workout that has me jumping from machine to machine, working out all my muscle groups and extending a typical workout to about an hour. Since I have the gym to myself, there’s no waiting in turn to use equipment, so it works to my advantage. Seems to be work out well (pardon the pun) and I don’t get bored as easily. I save my aerobics for walks from my workplace to the gym, instead of taking my car.

    I’ve already added an average of 20-30 pounds to all my weights across the board since trying this approach. Still not going to win any Superman contests, but I already feel a lot better.

  67. embracingourfemininity

    About squats.. wow, 200 squats program?! Who can do do 200 squats? I do 30 and the next day I am in so much pain.
    Plus I’m kind of weary about bulking up the lower half with too many squats. Would you recommend squats for somebody like me who tends to gain most of my weight in the bottom half? I don’t struggle to stay slim up top but my hips and legs always get fat first if I gain a few pounds, and I’m worried that squats will make them more bulky.

  68. theshadowedknight

    Not All Unkempt Dressers Are Like That. If you are a genius programmer, a master at a skill, a trained killer, or stand out in some form of fashion, exceptions are made. “Oh, do not mess with him, he will cut your throat/destroy you mentally/hack your coffee maker to burn your coffee forever.” The average person does not have any of those things. They just look like a screwup. Even if you are that guy, you still look better if you dress well. Same goes for women. Look at the actresses that go out without makeup and a nice dress. They look much worse than they do on the screen.

    The Shadowed Knight

  69. Wolfman

    Good post. My thoughts for Lexi’s comment are fairly biblical though. No idea if she’s a Christian, if not then she can ignore me.

    She seems to like the freedom of not having to take care of herself. If she’s a Christian she needs to realize that Her body is Gods temple. Also as many Christians do she needs to free herself from the Greek mindset that physical things are bad. I’ve prayed with many people who have this and that problem physically and in the end, yes Jesus is good and he heals his people, but you seriously just gotta lay off the ice cream cause you’re fat and that’s why your back/knees/feet hurt. We live in a Christian society now where we’ve forgotten how physical we are as people and that God promptly declared gluttony as a sin. Too many fat pastors preaching away from the pulpit stuffing their faces with gluttony these days. Not the mention the multitude of proverbs against laziness.

    It’s unfortunate that Lexi is so self absorbed in her career. At the end of the day whether she marries or not she needs to take care of herself because its one of the most basic functions of life; not only that but the vast majority of today’s mental disorders and physical problems are in my opinion due to overlooking those 2 major sins. I live in Canada where we have free healthcare and I firmly believe that it should be run like proper insurance. If you’re fat you should pay a premium on your taxes. There’s no reason I should be paying taxes for everyone else’s lazy fat ass so they can get their anti depressants and diabetes meds just because I’m actually healthy and work a real job.

  70. Ton

    Most folks who dress poorly are sacks of shit

    Most folks who dress well are sacks of shit in nice clothes

    I’m old enough to remember when the army didn’t like guys like me becuase we made rank to quick, didn’t dress as spiffy and were less formal regarding rank and the like. The whole you should dress xyz is chicken shit to use an army expression

    Which isn’t to say it doesn’t matter. We all have choice to make, we all have to pay the price for those choices, we all move in and out of different social circles but I think it’s funny when folks get to putting on airs and getting their painites in a wad because someone choose to live on their terms and not mine

  71. Hurting

    What TSK said…

    If you are a 0.01%er stud programmer without equal, knock yourself out and lard it up like Jabba the Hut, bathe every third day or so and get piercings and ink all over the place. If you’re like the rest of the world, you’re probably going to have to conform a bit and at least consider your appearance.

    Speaking of ink…

    Ran across a show on cable today, the premise of which is correcting bad tattoos. One of the featured victims of bad ink was a man with a real live, flowers and bows and all, TRAMP STAMP, on his lower back. Note that the fix was to change his tattoo – not get rid of it.

    Western society is truly and irreversibly forked.

  72. donalgraeme

    Speaking up just on the exercise bit, whenever I go to the gym I am always astounded by the difference fitness makes in females. It is like night and day in terms of what women look like out on the street and in the gym.

  73. earl

    “Plus I’m kind of weary about bulking up the lower half with too many squats.”

    You won’t get bulky…that is just a fear that isn’t true. You don’t have the testosterone to put on a lot of bulk muscle-wise. But you will get nicely toned.

    I’ve seen chicks in the gym do squats regularly and they have butts you could bounce quarters off of. They are anything but bulky.

  74. thehumanscorch

    Girl in picture:

    How to Never Attract a Man 101
    Advanced Spinsterville
    M.M.S in Self-Hatred

    Pretty, skinny, sweet need not apply for these classes or degrees.

  75. theshadowedknight

    Women. Cannot. Get. Bulky. The. End.

    Men who get very bulky are often taking steroids. We have to take steroids, and we already have many times the testosterone you women do. Women bodybuilders take steroids and still never reach the size men do. You cannot get big. Not possible for any woman but a hypermasculine freak of nature, and I mean deformed freak, not at the right of the curve.

    Men lifting and working out, and eating properly become the picture of ideal masculinity. Women doing the same thing transform their bodies into feminine perfection. We are designed for a lifetime of hard work. The harder you push your body, within limit, the closer you come to looking like you were meant to look.

    One of the things I have to see in a wife is at the least, a willingness to lift with me. That is minimum, she has to come to the gym. Lift, ladies, because you look so much better when you do. Just no steroids.

    Seriously. You cannot get big. No. Stop worrying. Squat. A lot. You are not going to get big.

    Not gonna happen.

    Nope.

    The Shadowed Knight

  76. Norm

    Sunshine your pic looks great. No permascowl or jaded look many women less than half your age already have. Your hair looks better combed sideways like your Gravitar. BTW. You do look your age, it’s just that other people your age look old for their age. I had a woman say I look 34 when I am actually 52. That’s what happens when you exercise and eat healthy and don’t smoke, too much sun, alcohol, etc.

    [ssm: Thank you. I am perfectly content to look my age, so long as I look good for my age. I'm growing my bangs so I can do the side sweep, hopefully by fall.]

  77. FuzzieWuzzie

    I liked your photo SSM. You have a pleasant coutenence and I’ll bet people warm up to you quickly. That’s an asset you can’t put a price on.

    As to the original post, the notion that it is 2006 and women are homeowners keeps rattling around in my head. If they’re looking, there’s no time like the present and appearance will diminish with time. Secondly, feminism has done a lot to diminish the value of men relative to women. Like real estate, the position of power goes back and forth from buyer to seller, so too does the sexual/marriage market place between women and men.

    A small thought: the first photo with woman holding the “sandwich” sign is doing all she can to diminish the overall balue of women. She is proof positive that feminism is inimical to the feminine imperative.

  78. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy,
    I saw that somewhere else a couple of days ago. Good grief, whare to start?
    Maybe the most troubling aspect is setting up the scenario.
    Completely manupulative.Could this be why there is no Dad in the picture?

  79. artisanaltoad

    @Ton
    I’m old enough to remember when the army didn’t like guys like me becuase we made rank to quick, didn’t dress as spiffy and were less formal regarding rank and the like. The whole you should dress xyz is chicken shit to use an army expression

    Ton, on this we must disagree. There is a time and a place for everything. Consider that a grunt will spend most of his time in BDU’s. This is all well and good. Are the weapons clean? Is the equipment in good repair? Are the troops in good discipline and ready to go? All is well. Yet, and I say “YET” there is a time and a place for dress uniforms. I don’t know the culture of the Army, but in the Marines we have occasions annually such as the Marine Corps Ball. We also have special occasions to celebrate life, especially when we have lost comrades. One does not wear less than one’s best to such occasions.

    Writers greater than I am have described it as “building a wall of glory” around the dead. There is a fundamental need that perhaps you can apprehend here. It is the same in Christianity: there is the need for temple worship. A need for the liturgical worship where one can approach and worship God in awe. One does not wear BDU’s to a mess night or a dining in, neither does one wear jeans and a Hawaiian shirt to temple worship.

    Interestingly, Gerald Celente (Trendswatch) has been predicting a return to classical elegance as the economy gets worse for at least the past year. Just as in the military we dress up and drink up to wall off the utter idiocy and futility of losing our friends to senseless combat for a ruling class that is out of control; there is a trend toward a return to elegance as a method of countering the mind-numbing futility of an economy that has failed to provide a reasonable and living wage. Perhaps the gatherings will be small, perhaps not, but there is a trend toward a return to elegance.

  80. Miserman

    artisanaltoad wrote,

    It is the same in Christianity: there is the need for temple worship. A need for the liturgical worship where one can approach and worship God in awe. One does not wear BDU’s to a mess night or a dining in, neither does one wear jeans and a Hawaiian shirt to temple worship.

    I have to admit that the first time I entered an old Catholic Cathedral when I lived in Texas as a boy, it was not the same as visiting a modern church, In that Cathedral, I felt this sense that God was big, ancient, and powerful. Perhaps in the future Christianity will rediscover a more artistic form to the function of a church building.

  81. infowarrior1

    @Dr Faust
    Matthew 5:32
    “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

    Matthew 19:9
    And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

  82. artisanaltoad

    @Infowarrior1

    There is a problem with the exegesis of these passages within the Protestant church. If you want to read a more reasonable explanation of what these passages mean, read this.

    There was a reason the Disciples said “It is better then not to marry.” They understood exactly what Jesus was saying in Matthew 19. Marriage is for life and divorce is not allowed for any reason other than the unbeliever leaving the believer (1st Corinthians 7:12-17).

  83. Ton

    I’m a brawler and was at the tip of the spear. We let other men play dress up, and while they paraded around, we trained. Or fought.

  84. stg58/Animal Mother

    Speaking of the 1940’s, my wife wishes she was alive then. I wouldn’t mind, as long as I could bring Beast Machine and The Reaper with me.

  85. stg58/Animal Mother

    My Marines complained about having to look sharp in garrison.

    When you are in garrison, look sharp, spit and polished. When in the field, get the job done.

  86. Dr. Faust

    How do churches permit divorce then? It seems pretty clear what God wants. What translation or misinterpretation of the bible are they using? Or do these churches just toss out any of the stuff that’s “not feminist friendly.”

  87. Dr. Faust

    STg, I’m the same as you. I want the 40s/50s era as well. We are not alone in this. My parents were alive then and tell me about how life was much simpler. A lot of younger people are pining for something different and nostalgia for the gold ole days often lead them to the 50s era. Mad Men is popular for a reason. Then again so is Game of Thrones.

  88. sunshinemary Post author

    I love the 1940s styles. I would be happy to live pre-second wave feminism. However, the Lord in His wisdom placed us each in this era, so we must do our best to live good lives of obedience here and try to show some of His light to this dark world.

    Now, if I could look like any woman in the world, it would be the 1940s film star Veronica Lake, hands down.

  89. Ton

    Just about everything that is ripping the guts out of the usa was already in place by 1950.

  90. stg58/Animal Mother

    I’ll take Maureen O’Hara or Rita Hayworth, please.

    ssm: Ah, you like the red-heads, eh?

    Some sensational photos of Rita Hayworth and Glen Ford:

    Glen Ford is majorly alpha in those photos. I’m changing my gravatar to that last picture.

  91. stg58/Animal Mother

    Yes I do. I like them so much I married one on my father’s advice.

    Now if I could just get him to stop singing 40’s showtunes…

  92. Lisa in Vermont

    @Frank,

    If you’re looking for a killer aerobic workout and a great way to meet chicks try a Spinning class. The class I take has 12 bikes and most days all but one or two are ridden by women.

    @Embracing Our Femininity,

    Squats won’t make your thighs bulk up unless you use very heavy weights. There are ladies at my gym who have sexy, shapely legs and can squat with 100 or more pounds.

    I’m naturally pear shaped like you and this is the first time in my life that my thighs are slim and toned thanks to a new strength training program I started earlier this year. I’d suggest a session or two with a personal trainer who can create a plan to help you meet your fitness goals. I’d also check out the Oxygen Magazine website for great diet and exercise tips. Their fitness models are my Fit-spiration.

  93. artisanaltoad

    @Ton

    I’m willing to bet we’re so close in our beliefs that we’re arguing about the .01% difference. Dressing up isn’t necessarily about chickenshit: when it’s done right it’s meeting a fundamental need that the troops have because it provides cathartic release. Done wrong, it’s pure unadulterated chickenshit and I’m in total agreement with you on that. There has to be a formalized way to deal with PTSD and historically, it was through a process of military worship, if you will, in which the survivors joined together and recognized the sacrifices, gave their adulation to the dead and put the feelings to rest. Has feminism and its infiltration of the armed forces worked to negate this? Of course. Absolutely.

    “He fears his fate too much… or his deserts are small… who dares not put it to the touch; to win or lose it all.” Lord Montrose.

  94. Ton

    Nope we are no where near close. Those things are utterly useless for killing people and breaking shit. The military needs to shit can anything that doesn’t resemble sticking a bayonet in someone, getting men to were they need to be to kill someone, patching up our guys who kill people or gathering the intell to kill someone

    Fixing the shit required to kill someone is cheaper when you hire contractors.

  95. artisanaltoad

    @Dr. Faust

    The problem for the modern pastor is that he’s running a business. Consider what the Bible says: no divorce for Christians unless they’re married to unbelievers. The problem is that people want our of unpleasant marriages. Period.

    Never mind that God will use those unpleasant marriages to smooth the rough edges of the Christians involved, they don’t like it. They don’t want to change. Up to the point that someone married, they had a “Schrodinger’s box” of opportunities. After they got married, they are with the one God wants them to be with. That causes problems for many. The answer is that God will use that person in your life to conform you to His will. He will use that person and their personality to create problems in your life to bring you closer to the Lord and cause you to lean further on Him.

    This is why we see a desire to divorce. People don’t want to be obedient to the Lord, so they look for loopholes. They look for exceptions. They look for ways to get out of the vows they made to God. God “Married” Judah and Israel. God dealt with their adultery and all the provocations they threw at Him. How is the modern marriage any different?

  96. artisanaltoad

    @Ton
    Nope we are no where near close. Those things are utterly useless for killing people and breaking shit. The military needs to shit can anything that doesn’t resemble sticking a bayonet in someone, getting men to were they need to be to kill someone, patching up our guys who kill people or gathering the intell to kill someone

    Ton, we’re talking about the needs of the troops, not killing people and breaking things. Maybe you’re all ‘Valhalla’ and whatever, but that doesn’t impact the needs of the troops. I used the analogy of temple worship to try to explain to you why there is a need for formal military ceremony. Maybe you don’t get that. Think about it. How do you grieve, formally? How do you say goodbye to fallen comrades, formally? Why is it necessary? That’s the key question. Why are you fighting me on this?

  97. Farm Boy

    I remember Glenn Ford from old westerns. One of the better thing about westerns is that they normally had very appealing women who dressed in nice modest outfits and were ladies (except for the bar girls of course).

  98. thehap

    @Frank: I HATE doing aerobics (jogging on a treadmill makes me feel like a…. wait for iiiiiiit… hamster)

    Yeah, aerobic workouts are incredibly overrated. However, you do need a little. I recommend rowing. It is a beautiful combination of strength and aerobics, and it works just about every muscle in your body. In fact, in the summer olympics, the greatest expenditure of any athlete is the rower. Find a gym with a nice Concept 2 rower, and you are set.

  99. thehap

    Correction, that should read:

    …in the Summer Olympics, the greatest energy expenditure of any athlete is the rower.

  100. Farm Boy

    I suppose that the “make me a sammich” female could go to McDonalds to get what she wants. Then hopefully she would leave our eyes alone.

  101. Farm Boy

    Proofreading again,

    Mackinaw Bridge should be Mackinac Bridge

    [ssm: Thanks! I always forget that it's Mackinaw City and but Mackinawc Island but and Mackinac Bridge. *so confusing*]

  102. FuzzieWuzzie

    All this talk about sandwiches reminds me that I now live a long way away from Compagno’s.
    Yes, Ton and ArtisinalToad, they do allow civilians in there.
    Rare roast beef with everything! YUM!

  103. Hannah

    Nice post Sunshine Mary – I’d happily live in a Mad Men visual feast :)

    But I had to give the recipe a skip – I’m not sure my husband would be amused if I made him a zucchini lasagne! Well he’d assume it was a joke and the real deal still in the oven.
    My 5 year old boy was asked what he’d like me to make for his birthday dinner and he said
    “Chicken Steak and Meat!
    Chip off the old block.
    I was a vegetarian for years but had to give it up when we married – it would never have worked within this family dynamic :)
    I read this somewhere that sounded like my husband’s ethos:
    “I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian”

    We eat real foods – not plastic substitutes. ie: butter not margarine.
    I’ve not been one to worry about size but it really does come down to portions.
    My husband is nearly twice my weight and he eats at least twice as much as I eat.
    Every time I prepare him snacks doesn’t mean I get one too.

    Lisa in Vermont – you say you’re pear shaped… But your measurements are very similar to mine which is hourglass. You must be very trim right … I’m not sure how that looks like a pear?

  104. sunshinemary Post author

    One of the better thing about westerns is that they normally had very appealing women who dressed in nice modest outfits and were ladies (except for the bar girls of course).

    And they dealt with women who couldn’t behave themselves. :)

  105. Deep Strength

    Ah, fun stuff diet and exercise. My forte.

    Lots of good stuff has already been mentioned regarding nutrition (IF, eliminating processed foods etc) though I tend to recommend at least 80/20 of some type of Paleo, and good on the exercise as well (squats and deadlifts! add in some pullups, rows, dips, and pushups and you can do pretty well.

    Bunch of good articles on female weight and strength training here for the nice body:

    http://beautifullyhardcore.com/2011/11/7-reasons-why-women-should-strength-train/

    http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    http://cliftonharski.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/im-not-gonna/

    http://bretcontreras.com/strength-training-for-women/

    http://www.schwarzenegger.com/fitness/post/ladies-and-lifting-how-serious-strength-can-build-a-sexy-physique

    http://upfitness.co.uk/articles/female-health-fat-loss/weight-training-for-women/

    http://www.fitocracy.com/knowledge/why-weight-loss-is-not-the-king-of-achievements/

    But if people want to ask super specific questions I’ll dole out some advice. :)

  106. pb

    “How do you grieve, formally? How do you say goodbye to fallen comrades, formally? Why is it necessary? That’s the key question. Why are you fighting me on this?”

    Church ceremony + recognition of veterans as veterans. Dress uniforms do not seem to be that necessary – one example: the army of the CSA, as many of those who fought did not have anything like a formal uniform. Dress uniforms are more a relic of the nation-state and a certain period of its history.

  107. Höllenhund

    It’s all part of a very simple process. I’ve described it on Novaseeker’s blog, by taking cues from Badger. I’ve partially reworded it to make it more accurate:

    “As we know, there was a time when women were economically dependent on men on an individual (one-on-one) basis. (The key word here is “individual”. Women are, in fact, still economically dependent on men, but no longer on an individual basis.) Pretty much every woman had to practice assortative mating and get married – or become a nun/prostitute, or basically starve to death. This meant that women had to elicit commitment from men of similar mating market value (MMV), which in turn meant that women had to develop certain traits to maximize their MMV. They had to learn all sorts of skills (cooking, sewing, knitting etc.), plus the ability to keep their weight and feral nature in check.

    All this went out the window when Marriage 1.0 collapsed, for reasons that probably don’t need any explanation here (Four Horsemen of the Sexual Apocalypse and all that). Women no longer need to elicit commitment from men of equal MMV (the key word is “need”), so they begin to shift their sexual strategy from eliciting commitment from men towards pandering to the short-term desires of just the top men i.e. trying to out-slut each other to get the attention of alphas, or dropping out of the SMP altogether if they fail to get that attention (due to not being hot enough). In short, women increasingly become feral, showing their true colors (there’s no annoying “patriarchy” anymore holding them back), or they simply become angry, bitter, fat, more or less celibate broads. Both groups of women shit all over betas.

    The thing about feral women is that they can elicit all sorts of responses from men: MGTOW, PUA, MRA, spree-killing, porn addiction, slacking, “grass-eating”, Peter Pan Syndrome, you name it. In many ways these are different, but in one sense they’re all similar: they equal leaving the MMP – because the one male behavior these women consistently fail to elicit is that of the responsible, loyal husband and father. Betas are disgusted by them, because these women shit all over them, and their interest in women is fundamentally long-term oriented – as opposed to alphas, who pretty much view almost all women as worthy of casual sex and nothing else.

    Most betas are probably aware that they could do the hard work to make themselves more sexually attractive and thus have a shot at securing sexual access to women that they themselves find both sexually attractive and fit for a relationship, but most of them simply cannot be bothered to do so because they mostly don’t see their female counterparts as prizes worth winning – certainly not worthy of long-term commitment.

    And from then on, it’s nothing but a race to the bottom. If a growing percent of men drop out of the mating marketplace (the key word is “mating” – take note that PUAs are dropping out as well, not just MGTOWs), it primarily hits the women that are still looking for commitment from men of equal MMV. This means that a growing segment of women stop marketing themselves to men of equal mating rank, and either join those still gunning for the few alphas or drop out altogether and let themselves go to shit, basically (becoming fat, bitter, jaded etc.). Which demotivates relationship-oriented betas even more. The attitudes in today’s MMP are self-reinforcing. Women become worse, so men also become worse, thus women become even worse and so on. And it won’t change anytime soon.”

  108. tbc

    ‘Dressing up’ as it is called, or merely dressing appropriately is appealing because the styles tend to accentuate the natural masculinity and femininity of men and women. Women tend to like a man in uniform because, well, he looks more like a man than a guy who is wearing saggy, ill-fitting khaki trousers and a ratty t-shirt. The styles we’re discussing (40-60’s) share some common features: they are trim — that is, they are cut close to the body, thus highlighting a woman’s curves and a man’s angularity. The styles are also modest — enticing through what they conceal rather than what they reveal, and especially for the women, drawing attention to the face, legs, and neck which tend to remain relatively feminine and slender even if the body has some ‘problem areas’.

    On the issue of formal military dress, the real issue is one of glory and honour; a kind of national peacocking as it were. It isn’t about the individual military man, but rather about the whole and reflecting the glory of the nation. It is similar to a woman not wearing sweatpants and t-shirt all the time. Sure it is practical for ‘getting the job done’ around the house, and most husband won’t complain about that. But it isn’t glorifying or honoring to the husband for whom she labours if the sweatpants and t-shirt are all that is ever worn, even when sitting down for a formal celebration.

  109. Chris

    If you are a 0.01%er stud programmer without equal, knock yourself out and lard it up like Jabba the Hut, bathe every third day or so and get piercings and ink all over the place. If you’re like the rest of the world, you’re probably going to have to conform a bit and at least consider your appearance.

    Ah, so you mean you dress like this…

    If Lt Torvalds (Finnish Army, retired) can dress relatively neatly, the wannabes can do the same.

  110. Chris

    I am not that good a html programmer, and wordpress eats standard format HTML in my hands. so the picture I was referring to is…

    Which is pretty much how I dress. jeans or trousers with shirt or jersey. No tie: never willingly wear something that can be used to harm you.

  111. Ton

    We do all those things in the higher tiers without the silly dressing up, and 12 years on the line I never meet the grunt who liked that bullshit, but I know plenty of young men who got out because of the chicken shit you love so much. They were fine down range with hajji trying to kill him but garrison broke their spirit.

    There is fighters and men who like parades. Get rid of the chicken shit and you’ll get more combat effective men an less of the other. I know your arugement, hearted my whole life, rejected it my whole life. Course I’m 3rd generation SpecOps veteran and many more to that about being a line grunt. What you advocate is a hold over from when officers were aristocrats who thought shiney bits of pretty cowed the natives and kept enlisted men in line.

    Most of your daily activities are anaerobic and so should your training be. If you pick the right events, you kill multiple birds with one stone. If you drive up your one rep max, speed and endurance follows. Kettlebell addresses anaerobic condition, and dynamic effort. Tire flip addresses triple extensions/ explosions along with anaerobic. Etc etc.

    If you go to West Side barbell, Louie Simmions has a books section. Read the ones about general performance training, scheduling etc and not the power lifting specific stuff. His free articles are mostly geared toward power lifting but he has a few that cover the various training systems

    The body building/ fitness models are based on a lot flawed assumptions

    If you’re just into weights, Google basic 9 week template and Dave Tate. Forget bands and chains and what not until you move some decent weight. Or really for ever unless you have a specific sports reasons

  112. Manlyman

    She wants a sandwich? Looks like she already ate a truckload….and forgot to take them out of the truck!

  113. theshadowedknight

    I am with Ton on the uniforms. It is good in theory, but it gets out of control. I am bailing out in good part because of the Peacetime Marine Corps. The war is barely over and I am already getting classes–classes!–on saluting officers properly, and then the EO/SAPR/SA etc. No thanks. I signed up to kill people, not polish some college graduate’s ego or resume. If the war is over and we go back to close order drill instead of job training, how is that a good idea?

    The Shadowed Knight

  114. Phaedra

    Wow how bitter is she! I’m in my late 20s and I love taking care of my man, seeing him happy makes me happy and satisfied :) Now for her reasons:

    1) My job gives me more satisfaction than any of my relationships. My coworkers don’t bitch, moan, complain to me. They also don’t complain about me, at least not in front of me.

    My man gives me way more satisfaction than any job. He makes me feel valued, loved and taken care of.

    i 2) I’ve been at my current job for 5 years, since I graduated from college. That’s longer than any relationship I’ve been in. More stable, less bitching, less dealing with demanding significant others.

    The reason she’s not able to have stable, long-lasting relationships is because she makes everything about her and doesn’t make him a priority; she’s a taker, instead of a giver.

    3) Nobody cares about how I look (I’m an engineer). I can go to work wearing flip flops and sweat pants and no one will bat an eye.

    That just means that she doesn’t take care of herself. We do draw confidence from the way we look. If you want to be in sweats and flip flops, find a man who doesn’t care (and plenty don’t if they have their other needs met).

    4) I don’t have to watch my weight. Nobody is going to deduct points from my review for gaining 10 pounds.

    I bet she wouldn’t go out with a fat man either and she should care more about her health.

    5) I don’t have to shower everyday, and that’s also not going on my review

    Ewww, nobody wants to be around a stinky, bitter, resentful slob.

    6) I come home, and no one is bitching at me to cook for them.

    Way more to a relationship than cooking.

    Personally, she’s immature, bitter and she properly can’t get a man even if she wanted to.

  115. empathologism

    I spent Friday in Detroit metro airport, and Thursday driving around listening to the sucking sound of the financial collapse on call in radio. The bridge was closed.

  116. Farm Boy

    Detroit is a good metaphor for modern women. Do what you want, live beyond your means, let yourself go to pot, then expect the tax paying fellas to bail it out.

  117. Ton

    I’m in the middle of a Counting Cars marathon, watching the show with my girls and Girl. It’s an outstanding window into the masculine soul, if any gal wants a preview of the way men are. What we see as honorable actions regarding charity, and business, how men love to work, how we can tolerate and hold assholes in regard, how we interact with wash other, the way we see beauty in the world around us…

  118. Ton

    Don’t know how I missed your post TSK, but you are not alone. On my way out, I told my boys they would hate the peace time army and miss down range. Some knew it was true, many I am sure thought it was crazy ass SFC Ton being crazy…. Well fast forward 9 months and what I told them is playing out. Men don’t bust their ass to make it into my scout/ sniper platoon because they like garrison life or want to take it easy. Hell they don’t become grunts because they want to clean the barracks and make accountability formations 3 times a day. They do it for adventure and masculine pride. The higher up the food chain, the more that holds true.

    Any woman can play dress up and eat a fancy dinner.

    How things play out as a REMF or fobbit is beyond me, but I know grunts and the like.

  119. bluedog

    Squats are glorious for your health and situps and/or ab crunches with proper form are excellent your spirit is in the right place with this. Men and women alike should have ambitiius squat/ab work in their eexercise program it will literally better your mental emotional health. Check out too the 1000 crunch challenge.

    That said. …

    You MUST …. MUST couple ab work with lower back work. Failre to do so is both counterproductive and dangerous. Here are three lower back exercises easy to do just add one or another them to tail end (no pun intended) of your ab work:

    1. Planks OR
    2. Torso hyperextension with a pivot machine OR
    3. Leg hyperextension with a large balance ball

    Those activate/employ gluts too and will stave off “mom butt”

    My (stupid) failure to pair lower back work with squats and ab work for three years of working out religiously resulted in a severe tear of my lower back muscles AND an abdominal herniation, DURING a squat no less.

    Clearly too…from the familiarity of the medical staff with this injury combination showed the error is not uncommon.

    It is easy not to make this error … planks and hyperextensions … start today.

  120. Sarah's Daughter

    And God is well aware of the ugly that will reside in us and show through to the outside when we ignore his Truth on how to live life.

  121. thehumanscorch

    “So young, so ugly.”

    She is a child of God.

    HAHAHHAHHAAHHAAHHAHA.

    1) Funny how people invoke the Lord when they don’t like the Truth and can’t see that conflict.

    2) Funny how women don’t care about a man’s ‘Child of God’ status when they’re deciding who to open their legs to.

  122. earl

    1) Funny how people invoke the Lord when they don’t like the Truth and can’t see that conflict.

    A lot of this is from Christians. They are the worst kind of Christians.

    2) Funny how women don’t care about a man’s ‘Child of God’ status when they’re deciding who to open their legs to.

    A lot of this is women who are Christians.

  123. thehumanscorch

    1) Funny how people invoke the Lord when they don’t like the Truth and can’t see that conflict.

    A lot of this is from Christians. They are the worst kind of Christians.

    …Sure wish I could argue that point Earl, but you are right.

    2) Funny how women don’t care about a man’s ‘Child of God’ status when they’re deciding who to open their legs to.

    A lot of this is women who are Christians.

    Again, you are correct. I think SSM has pointed out, especially in her desire for her daughters to be teenage brides, how foolish it is for people to believe that religion or social standards or even their own personal faith will trump biology.
    Women want tingles, God or not. God designed them that way.
    Men want youth/fertility, and variety. God or not. God designed us that way.

    So it’s a shame when so-called Christians can’t deal with real life.

  124. earl

    I do love when women find their morality and get outraged. Usually when they see a guy doing the same stuff they do.

    I call it selective morality. I’m no saint…anything I do that is a sin is a sin no matter how my or her hamster spins it. That’s why I see the priest weekly in the confessional to let God know this point.

    I don’t need a woman and her demons to remind me of my weakness.

  125. Miserman

    She is a child of God.

    What makes her so? Being born or being born again? In others, because she’s a human or because she is a human confessing Christ?

  126. Hurting

    earl July 21, 2013 at 5:19 am

    Earl,

    Ann Margret is simply the sexiest women who has ever trod the planet.

    Period. The End.

  127. thehumanscorch

    I do love when women find their morality and get outraged. Usually when they see a guy doing the same stuff they do.

    This comment needs to be captured in bronze and put on a plaque above every church, legislative building, and school in the country.

  128. FuzzieWuzzie

    Guest,
    “She is a child of God.”
    Yes, undeniably. Maybe what you’re getting at is not to return hate for hate.
    Didn’t Jesus tell us to “Love your enemies.”. There is a humorous side to this. They can’t respond and it makes them really mad.

    Why do I suspect that you’re SSM trying to stir up the comment thread?

    [ssm: An easily disproved suspicion; "Guest" comments at Unmasking Feminism, too, so I'm sure Laura Grace could confirm that Guest and I have different IPs from different regions of the country. :)]

  129. Farm Boy

    She is a child of God.

    We are supposed to feed and clothe children of god. She seems to be doing fine in this regard, especially the feedIng part.

    Liberals feel that Christians should just lay there, say nothing, pay their taxes, and then die. The Bible is a guide for how to live, so it is natural that Christians should point out how people are not doing so.

    Then there is the “do not judge part”, conveniently forgetting the “go and sin no more part”

    Liberals use that as a “get out of jail free” card in discussions with Christians

  130. Farm Boy

    SSM, you do not need to do any posts during your Detroit vacation, just periodically let a “guest” comment through.

  131. bluedog

    “That’s why I see the priest weekly in the confessional to let God know this point.”,
    Earl, you are Catholic ( or otherwise not Protestant, I assume yiu do not refer to the rare Episcopal practice of confession)?
    This surprises me your language usually seems more Protestant to me.

  132. Matthew King

    Grace Kelly and only Grace Kelly.


    (Ignore the cheesebag John Tesh soundtrack)

    Ingrid comes in second, but a distant second. Then Audrey.

    There are similar beauties today but with zero poise and negative style. They conduct themselves like floozies and they begin to wear their flooziness on their faces. “All spirit becomes visible over time in the body.” — Apocryphal Nietzsche. At any rate, the Roissyan idea that female beauty is 97% physical is a canard. It is over 50% to be sure, but manner, presentation, style, modesty, and nostalgia go a very long way.

    Matt

  133. Lisa in Vermont

    Ton, Shadowed Knight, Deep Strength

    Thanks for the advice on the squats. I did mine with a barbell rather than the Smith machine last night at the gym when I did my leg routine. I also tried the Romanian deadlifts. It made for a killer workout.

    My legs still feel like Jello to the point where I had to hold onto the banister when walking down my stairs this morning. Hopefully, I’ve worked some new muscles and will improve my strength.

  134. theshadowedknight

    Lisa, be sure to drop the weight when you go to the barbell. The support musculature and CNS pathways are undeveloped, and you can easily hurt yourself if you go too heavy. It is a completely different exercise without the Smith machine. Care must be taken to avoid a serious injury.

    The Shadowed Knight

  135. stg58/Animal Mother

    So your eternal salvation is based on how you live? That seems to be the consensus here. We lose that battle even before we start. Unfortunately, none of us can meet that moral standard.

  136. Farm Boy

    She is a child of God

    Perhaps so, but a more complete description is “Millenial with an entitlement mentality”

  137. FuzzieWuzzie

    At some point in the future, feminism is going to step in their own doo-doo and it will become unpopular. When this happens, what are we going to do with all the feminists?
    Can anyone see a media blitz of public service announcements asking people to “Adopt a feminist”?

    Once again, bear is scratching head.

  138. Ton

    Yea my salvation is based on God’s promise of His love and grace . For damn sure not based on any personal merit. Sinner that I am

  139. Ton

    Oh and I think y’all dead wrong on women and looks. seems to me there are a lot more 8’s & 9’s and a lot less 7’s, 6’s, 5’s. Which makes sense when you think about fitness trends.

  140. earl

    “Earl, you are Catholic ( or otherwise not Protestant, I assume yiu do not refer to the rare Episcopal practice of confession)?
    This surprises me your language usually seems more Protestant to me.”

    I am a Catholic…but I speak in tongues…so I can go Protestant.

    However should one cross me about the Virgin Mary…they’ll see how Catholic I am.

  141. earl

    “So your eternal salvation is based on how you live? That seems to be the consensus here. We lose that battle even before we start. Unfortunately, none of us can meet that moral standard.”

    For men it is impossible…with God all things are possible.

  142. earl

    “My legs still feel like Jello to the point where I had to hold onto the banister when walking down my stairs this morning. Hopefully, I’ve worked some new muscles and will improve my strength.”

    You will…your legs becoming Jello and walking up stairs is torture when you do free weight squatting. That’s why I never use the Smith machine.

    Also it’s incentive to do them regularly. If you quit for a month…that jello leg pain comes back when you start again.

  143. theshadowedknight

    Maeve, the Vee-sit:
    Sit on the floor. Putting your legs out in front and leaning back, lift your feet off the ground. Bring your knees and your chest together, assuming a fetal position with your rear the only point of contact with the ground. Return to the expanded position to complete one repetition. Keep the back straight the entire movement, bending at the hips and the knees to get close. Legs do not touch the floor for the duration of the set. Arms may be placed beside the rear to help with balance for beginners.

    It should resemble a crunch, but involves upper and lower body moving to the center, instead of just the upper body moving, and limited contact with the ground to force stabilizer muscles to work alongside the abdominals.

    The Shadowed Knight

  144. earl

    I had an interesting chat with a lady at a conservatory. I was doing my usual goofy game tactics when the topic of stealing the plants came up. I asked if people ever tried to steal them. She said yes. I then asked how they would do it.

    “Oh they either put them in their purses…or in their strollers.”

    To which I said…”That’s why people are having kids…you’ve given me incentive to become a father.” Then winked at her.

    The moral of the story is…women will stoop to using their child’s carrying device to steal stuff.

  145. Dr. Faust

    Oh and I think y’all dead wrong on women and looks. seems to me there are a lot more 8′s & 9′s and a lot less 7′s, 6′s, 5′s. Which makes sense when you think about fitness trends.

    It’s natural that as the economic situation continues and the middle class is dissolved that we see the same deepening dichotomy in other divergent areas. One area is the disappearance of the middle digit females. Gone are the 4-6s. Now everyone is either a 2 or a 9. The thin get thinner and the fat get fatter.

  146. Ton

    Well its not thin per say, but petite girls are hitting the weights and creating nice athletic builds. Which is high on my list. As I recollect, skinny girls where happy to be skinny back in the day, so a natural 7 with a fitness habit is going to turn into an 8 or maybe 9. And then Dr F your point comes in.

    Core work is over played for most folks. If you are activating your core like you should when squatting, pulling, benching and overhead pressing you won’t need much core work. Same with using the kettbell. Standing ab work is best, Turkish getups, planks and the ab wheel are good to go. Don’t do situps or crunches. Well don’t do crunches. Waste of effort. Do situps to work your hip flexors. Do back raises every day. 1×100 is a good place to start.

    The fitness industry is about selling stuff to the non motivated, so they try to sell “easy”. Athletes and their coaches have to succeed or go hungry. My suggestion for the fitness crowd is to find a group of athletes who’s body you admire and then train like they train, and eat like they eat. Form follows function.

    I love power lifting, BUT, really it’s the most simple way for most folks to train and get good results. Successful coaches post their ideas everywhere because there is no money to speak in the sport. Follow Westside or the like, eat clean and you will look great. I know you don’t believe me but that’s because your mind is thinking about alkyl the great heavy and supper heavy weights. hit goggle images for middle and lite weight guys and galls. You’ll like what you see.

    On top of that, as you get stronger, all other aspects will improve, speed, endurance, anaerobic conditioning etc. Working on the others doesn’t improve your strength ( expect speed for some folks)

  147. Maeve

    TSK: Thank you …. and where did you learn this torture move? “Abs by Torquemada”?

  148. Miserman

    I think the angel Gabriel games Mary. He starts with flattery, calms any reluctance (fear not), and then announces that she will be an awesome mother to an awesome son.

  149. stg58/Animal Mother

    Earl, I agree with you on things being possible with God, yet impossible with Man. It puzzles me when I see comments about people going to hell because they commit fornication or adultery.

  150. earl

    “It puzzles me when I see comments about people going to hell because they commit fornication or adultery.”

    People are prejudice.

  151. earl

    “I think the angel Gabriel games Mary. He starts with flattery, calms any reluctance (fear not), and then announces that she will be an awesome mother to an awesome son.”

    The angel game was air tight…because back in those days being a single mother meant you were basically a leper.

    Joseph must of had some mad game too…telling her they have to leave for Egypt because of a dream he had where an angel said Herod was going to do some very late term abortions.

  152. Farm Boy

    Can anyone see a media blitz of public service announcements asking people to “Adopt a feminist”?

    Angelina Jolie, with a gaggle of loud hags following her, pleading that for one dollar a day, one save the entitlement mentality of a feminist.

  153. Ton

    Christians love to look down on folks Sgt 58, most especially regarding sexual sins. That’s the short of it

  154. Je Suis Prest

    I’m a little late to the party, but just wanted to say that there’s some really good info on here both in the main post and in the comments.

    Also, do any of you gents who are knowledgeable about strength training have any thoughts on Wendler’s 5/3/1 program? One of the guys at work recommended it to me and it made a lot of sense as laid out in the book, but I’d welcome another opinion.

    @ Ton

    Hope you had a great day (have you tried Girl in the sidecar yet?). I’m sorry to inform you though that we just wouldn’t get along on the food front though as my lasagna definitely has zucchini instead of pasta (it still tastes good though!) I actually live mostly on veggies, meat, eggs, fruits nuts and seeds (I’d call myself paleo except that I refuse to give up dark chocolate, coffee (with flavoured whitener), scotch and wine (or bacon, but since I get mine nitrate free from pastured animals I’m not sure if it’s “okay” according to the paleo crowd or not).)

  155. FuzzieWuzzie

    Found this on youtube and thought it would be better exposed here than tacked on to an older thread. Poor eleven year old Yemeni girl running away from her family. They wanted to marry her off. Do you think feminists will touch this issue?

    Is there anyone out there with enough Arabic to follow this and verify the subtitles?
    I’ll buy a virtual Compagno’s sandwich.

  156. theshadowedknight

    Fuzzie, you have mentioned Compangos a couple of times. Do you live near the DLI? Their sandwiches are to die for.

    The Shadowed Knight

  157. FuzzieWuzzie

    TSK,
    I used to be such a good customer of Compagno’s that, one day, when Bennett couldn’t leave, he let me take his deposit to the bank.
    I live in Indiana now. No Compagno’s here.*sob*
    Miss their sandwiches!

    Je Suis Prest,
    If they ever send you to Monterey for language training, go to Compagno’s!

  158. Ton

    LOL, I’d fix your veggie problem for you darling…. who knows you might enjoy the correcting. Probably turn paleo myself shortly. It’s a shit diet for upper level athletics, but since I’m no longer an upper level athlete… but moonshine and dark chocolate is a must.

    I have to sell my metric bike before I can afford a Ural with a side car, but I now have Girl wear doggles when we train. She’s doing better and loves to pull the sled now.

    I happen to know Jim to a small degree. He is a good guy, super smart, awesome athlete and I can recommend 5/3/1 without reservations. Very life friendly as in easy to adjust the training regimen to match work and other interruptions. Which might be the best aspect for working adults.

  159. Alte

    Thanks for the mention!

    Tempted to share a before/after of me, so that you can see the difference the weight loss made to my face. But I want to spare your eyes. LOL

  160. Alte

    It will help you avoid the dreaded “mom butt” that’s so common on women our age. It’s where a woman’s butt is flat and shapeless and hangs down on the back of her thighs.

    *moment of Schadenfreude*

  161. Bluedog

    Je Suis Prest,

    re: Wendler’s 5/3/1 – I had to look it up, but it does look like it is on to something that I think people with a flexible, experimentative mind tend to notice about hypertrophy. I recommend you look up Smolov – examine closely what he is doing with the Squats program. Loosely you notice two things:

    1. There is an alternation/progression between high rep / low weight, versus low rep / high weight
    2. There is an alternation built into the alternation … in other words: it is two leveled

    When you’ve been working out a long time you can get frustrated doing the same thing, the muscles seem to need to be “teased” over plateaus while being consistently challenged. They almost need to be “whispered” into growing.

    Meanwhile you have a complexity that ligaments and tendons and connective tissue do not strengthen the way muscle does … so you can literally crater your muscular gains if you strain and tear non-muscular tissue (stopping your work outs) … while if you rest that tissue and allow it to “catch up” reparatively, you actually gain faster in the long run, since everything gains and you don’t have “injury holidays”.

    Smolov varies between “micro cycles” where weight is heavily parred down, and “meso cycles” within which there is a rapid alteration from highrep/lowweight to lowrep/highweight, i.e.: during a micro cycle, for a few weeks you actually do very little lifting and a lot of rest, but during meso cycles your weekly workout looks like this:

    Day 1: 4 sets, 9 reps, low weight
    Day 2: 5 sets, 7 reps, more weight
    Day 3: 7 sets, 5 reps, more weight
    Day 4: 10 sets, 3 reps, lots and lots of weight

    Then week x and y: repeat but nudged higher, then week z and z2 … break … LOW weight.

    Smolov is extremely intense and if mis-primed you could really injure yourself. I recommend a flexible mind: push and “whisper” the muscle this way, nudging it up up up, BUT … if you feel ligaments, tendons or connective tissue strain … freely and quickly give it a break, a whole week maybe … make it a cardio week, maybe squats with no weights or other body-only exercises … let the connective tissue repair, then get back on cycle.

    Also – use ice liberally. Get crazy time serious about icing.

  162. tz

    In today’s first reading Abraham rushed into Sarah and told her to make three rolls for the visitors (who eventually told him he would have a son by her within a year).

    We sometimes confuse dominance with oppression. If a man is providing almost everything material, what should be the attitude? If he is wise, why not let him decide? If there is a question, why not bring it up in that context – of understanding, not non serviam?

    C3PO was wise when he suggested “Let the Wookie win”. Reality is a great arbiter, letting your man win the semifinals lets him confront the harder finals.

    As to some of the fantasies, I can only think of the line Morticia said from Addams family: “Last night you were an animal, you frightened me; Do it again”. My only worry about a man keeping his spouse up all night restrained and having orgasms while she is screaming that he stop is that he might have to repeat it frequently at her request.

    Women don’t need the pill, they just have to consume sufficient donuts or other forms of sugar and starch. Land-whales are close enough to bestiality. (Conversely, anorexia is also unhealthy; women – with estrogen – should jiggle a bit, especially in places where they will nourish a baby).

  163. Deep Strength

    5/3/1 is good, but if you’re pretty new to strength or hypertrophy training it might be better to go with a beginner program like Starting Strength or StrongLifts5x5… or if you’re decently experienced then Texas Method or Madcow’s 5×5 or any of those. 5/3/1 works a bit better if you’re more along the lines of intermediate-advanced where it has some built in deloading and isn’t as rough on the body because of not a lot of heavy work right off of the bad.

  164. Alte

    Hmmm… I used to complain about the sizing until Lady noted that US women’s sizing was never meant to be a concrete measure, like the European ones that I’m used to. It’s about reflecting a spot on the range, with a six being the median for a healthy-weight woman. So, as women have gotten taller, the range and the sizes shifted.

  165. Je Suis Prest

    @ FuzzieWuzzie

    Lol, after all the rave reviews I had to google and I’m pretty sure I gained a pound through osmosis just looking at the pictures – all of it looks amazing! I’ll have to look into ways I can legitimately get down there when I get to work tomorrow!

    @ Ton

    I prefer having an @$$ that says “I squat” as opposed to one that says “I sit”; if you were to “fix” my veggie problem I would definitely end up firmly in the second camp and that would be bad news bears. At least we agree on the dark chocolate! I’ve never had moonshine; I think I would prefer my alcohol after they age it for years in wood to make it taste amazing, but I guess you never know until you try…

    Yay, I’m so happy to hear that training is going well! You’ll have to tell everyone when you get the new bike!

    Thanks for the recommendation for 5/3/1. I’ll probably play with the numbers and start a cycle this week. Wish me luck!

  166. Alte

    Re: tanning

    I don’t intentionally do it because cancer, but I go from Dita to caramel every year, and I get more positive male attention when I look like less of a vampire.

    My husband seems to have a taste for blood, thankfully.

  167. Je Suis Prest

    Oh gosh, I seem to have missed a whole bunch of posts while I was typing. Serves me right for doing two things at once!

    @ Bluedog

    Thank you for the suggestion but I tend to get injured/overtrained when I work out seriously more than 3 days in a row with any kind of regularity so I’m not sure that Smolov would be a good fit for me.

    @ Deep Strength

    I’m not new to lifting, nor am I advanced (PRs are 270/190/115 lbs for DL, Squat and Bench Press respectively) but I’m coming back from an injury and want to do something that isn’t super rough on the body and where I can keep playing rec sports. I probably should have stated all that right from the start – my apologies for not giving you everything you needed in my initial post. I’m a little concerned that I’ll run into overtraining issues if I do SS or TM without giving up my other activities, which I think is why that guys at the office recommended 5/3/1. I was just looking for second opinions because sometimes I feel like they create their own echo chamber where everyone moves from training philosophy to training philosophy at more or less the same time…

    @ Ton

    As always, thanks for your input

  168. FuzzieWuzzie

    Not that it would be likely, but could the “sandwich” woman be a deli worker with a bad attitude?

  169. Deep Strength

    @ JSP

    5/3/1 would probably be good then. Make sure you keep doing prehab/rehab stuff to fully recover

  170. Ton

    5/3/1 is fine for newbies. Ripetoe old stuff is good to go. I’d run from anything new of his. 5/3/1 is pretty modular, easy to tweak and have only three or two days in the gym. That works well for “in season” training if whatever sport you do has a season, and in general gives you plenty of time for pre had/ rehab. Seems to work well for my guys with all the running requirements too. Not sure what that is for y’all up there.

    As for meals, well darling we most certainly want your butt to say “I squat” so you can cook two meals then. One for me and one for you. The extra domestic chores will keep you out of trouble. And I wouldn’t worry about sitting if’n I was you…

  171. Je Suis Prest

    5/3/1 it is then! Thanks for all the advice (especially the reminder to keep up with the prehab/rehab stuff – I’m always tempted to skip it once everything feels better).

    @ Ton

    I’m fine with cooking two meals, but I wouldn’t hold your breath on that keeping me out of trouble =).

  172. Elspeth

    Re sizing: I wear three different sizes depending on the item (smallest in dresses, followed by skirts, jeans are another size). I figured out a long time ago that I’d save myself a lot of angst by focusing on my measurements and weight relative to my 5’9″ height, instead of flipping out over the size inside the clothing label.

    Re exercise: The way I have managed to keep a regain a shapely derriere and recover my waistline after all of the pregnancies is a combination of walking 5 miles every morning and weight training. Conventional squats, lunges, wall squats for the lower body. Pushups and triceps work for my upper body. I don’t do a lot of sit-ups, and my waist still shrinks. The effect is greater when I concentrate on good form and slowing down for maximum effect when I train with weights.

    I do sit-ups occasionally but I only have so much time and energy to devote to exercise so I like to work on my flexibility as it seems to be more and more important since I turned 40.

  173. Elspeth

    Great post Sunshine, by the way.

    One more thing, on meals. I pretty much never eat lunch, stick with protein and fruits and yogurt at breakfast, and eat a normal dinner, whatever my husband wants. Often what he prefers to eat is something I’d rather not but so long as I’ve exercised due diligence throughout the day eating fresh baked bread or fried fish with him doesn’t cause me any problems.

  174. Saint Velvet

    Re: tanning
    I’m outside quite a bit and get tan regardless of sunscreen (please don’t use that cancer in a bottle people, it’s not that hard to make good sunscreen and your pharmacy will get you some zinc oxide powder). I do tan at the pool occasionally, as my husband has a thing for well placed tan lines. I’m prone to SAD, too, so I’m always searching for the sun. Our new house is way shady so I’m feeling a little low, lol. Aren’t you glad you asked?

  175. Deep Strength

    @ JSP

    270/190/115 for a woman is pretty good. Did you previously play competitive sports? I never see numbers like that from a woman regardless of weight unless they played competitive sports typically in college or were very good in HS.

  176. tacomaster

    @TheHap, I lost a lot of weight doing the rowing machine and doing kickboxing a few years ago. I feel like a hamster on a treadmill and it’s just too hot to run outside here in Texas. I never see anyone doing the rowing machine. Perhaps people are intimidated by it. And ya, romanian deadlifts are a great exercise. I bought a book that Men’s Health published that helps people create workout plans and that’s how I first learned about it.

    @Deep Strength or anyone else, would you be willing to give me some exercise advice? My hips, not any other area, are in constant pain from moving large patients at work. Are there any workouts you’d suggest to me? A lot of nurses complain about sore backs but I don’t have that issue.

    Regarding dressing up; I think a lot of guys would do better with women if they bought themselves some nice leather shoes, slacks, and dress shirts. It’s an investment initially but I think it really helps with confidence and the way women interact with you is well worth it. I try to dress like that for my wife but also because it helps me stand out when so many guys dress like crap.Just my opinion. When we do functions at work I’ll wear business casual clothing and I get a lot of compliments from my coworkers who only see me in scrubs. I feel like an entirely different person.

  177. tacomaster

    @Ton, how’d you first learn about the Ural bikes? They have a dealership here in town and I’ve thought about doing a test drive. Could you tell me anything about them? Thanks.

  178. Ton

    For your hip pain, get a foam roller do your hams, glutes, IT bands and low back. My guess is pain comes from being to tight, but it can be a difficult issue to pin down

    Urals, a guy I work with has one and I’ve seen a few of them in africa. Past that, it’s the idea of a powered side car and decent off road abilities. I want to take my dog cross country heance the side car, and I want to camp, fish etc along the way. I’m no kind of expert on them.

  179. Deep Strength

    @ tacomaster

    I’d need some more details about what type of pain and whatnot.

    Is it from overuse, or have you had previous injuries, or?

    Generally speaking, getting stronger will help significant with most pain issues if the problem is that it’s just too much and too often.

    However, if there’s any faulty mechanics and whatnot that also needs to be fixed as well.

    If you want to provide lots more details anonymously hit me up at deeperstrength on gmail

  180. Pingback: On the Rock

  181. tacomaster

    @Ton and Deep Strength, I have been doing foam rolling but it seems to just be a temporary fix. I’m trying to use proper body mechanics but these patients are just getting bigger and bigger. We recently had to widen the door frames, buy larger patient beds, and get toilets that would support upwards of 500 pounds. It’s insane! I’m hoping it’s from just overuse and that I haven’t injured myself for good.

    I think doing a cross country drive in a Ural would be pretty awesome. I’ve thought about that as well. I like that the Ural offers so many different paint schemes (I’m partial to the olive green myself) and can go offroad.

    Thanks guys.

    [ssm: My husband also works in a hospital and told me the same thing about the size of the patients. He said they have had to install these things that are like overhead cranes for lifting patients who are so morbidly obese that it isn't safe for staff to attempt to lift them.]

  182. Je Suis Prest

    @ Deep Strength

    Yes, I did several sports competitively in HS and for the first part of university. I stopped and went rec when it wasn’t fun anymore. I’ve also benefited from work environments in the past where people were very interested in such things and were kind enough to lend me their expertise.

    (PS I’m virtually impressed with the one-armed chinups – I have a hard enough time doing them with both hands!)

  183. Ton

    I would still say you’re not hitting the roller often enough. I’m on my three times a day, plus as a warm up for my am training session.

    Could be from age and the way you lift weights. Compression shorts suck ass, but if you do a lot of squatting, dead lifting etc and you’re over thirty, hit up Inzer an get set of groove briefs or power pants. That will support your hips when you lift and cut down on over use issues ( while letting you over use your hips).

  184. Deep Strength

    @ taco

    Yeah, that’s a big problem. I would start working a lot of bodyweight stuff like bridges, cat camels, internal/external rotations for the hips, and other mobility stuff just to get yourself sorted out.

    If you really need to just call for more people when lifting as well. If you really really really need to then report that you’re being injured to your boss. Usually workers comp can cover some stuff

    @ JSP

    Thanks for the compliment, haha. That’s good to be active like that. Being stronger is useful. :D

  185. Tacomaster

    Thanks guys for the suggestions. I will definitely try them. Appreciate it.

    SSM–ya, they remind me of the cranes from the Toy Story movies–“the crane! The crane! Ooh!” or a helicopter carrying a load of cargo through the air.

  186. Escoffier

    Taco, I have had hip and lower back pain (from, I believe, bad lifting form, hopefully since corrected). This worked wonders for me:

    It looks ridiculous and it’s expensive but it has more or less cured me. Not quite 100% free of all discomfort, but close. At first it was quite painful to use, the afflicted areas were so tender. But after a couple of weeks everything was much better. I have no doubt that this is what did it.

  187. Winter

    The comment thread has been dancing all over the place, but I’m fixated on that very first picture. I don’t care if you’re overweight, I don’t care if you’re homely, I don’t care if you work in a factory and have to wear “manly” clothes for your day job, I don’t even care if you’re a lesbian. There’s just no excuse to go out in public looking like that. Run a comb through your hair, cover up your bra straps, smear on a little cherry chapstick, and believe me when I say you will look soooo much better if you spend your time in more worthwhile pursuits than standing on street corners holding signs and looking smug or pissed off. Ugh. Have a little self-respect.

  188. Christina

    SSM,
    This seems to have fallen by the wayside, but I decided this past winter to start doing your basic, everyday sit-ups.

    After really bad advise post-maternity with my first child, I didn’t do core exercises between my children. While pregnant with my daughter, my hips kept coming out of alignment and post-maternity introduced a slew of back problems… and I couldn’t do ONE sit-up. I’ve been doing alternative core exercises that are so much more effective than sit-ups… and using the sit-up as a progress check. I’m nowhere where I should be, but I can do 3 sets of 12 now.

  189. Pingback: Their misogyny excites every feminine cell in her body. | Sunshine Mary

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s