A guest post by The Shadowed Knight
Man’s dominance in most areas has been reduced in modern society, both socially and legally. Women need leadership in a relationship, but the kind of man who can provide that is in short supply. Their need for safety and security is tied to dominant, masculine men, and these traits are discouraged in this society. Since sexual attraction is so influenced by power in men, women are having intercourse less often. This situation is compounded by the rising age of marriage and the prevalence of divorce. In short, sex and dominance go hand in hand; women need them both, but they are not getting them. The result is unhealthy women leading unhappy lives.
Sex is not an immediate need in the manner of food or water. The need for sex is like the need for shelter; not having it will not kill you, but it will put you at risk. Life is a lot better with sex than without. Having sex helps ease pain and aids in achieving the proper amount of sleep. Hormones are released during and after the sexual act. Other chemicals and processes occur that repair and renew the body, as well as working to retard aging. Lack of sex has been linked to increased risk of cancer, vulnerability to mental disorders, exposure to disease because of a weakened immune system, and other ill effects.
While many factors contribute to the positive results from sexual activity, it seems to be primarily a function of semen. Specifically, it is a matter of its absorption through the vaginal wall during intercourse and after ejaculation. Semen contains a cocktail of neurotransmitters, hormones, and other chemicals. A few of the components include dopamine, testosterone, serotonin, and interestingly, a pair of sex hormones found in women that help induce ovulation. Women need this chemical infusion to help properly regulate their physiologies and psychologies, and birth control that blocks semen results in unhappy, unhealthy women when compared to those who do not use a barrier.
From this, I draw the conclusion that sex is a real need, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It is important for women’s health that they have regular access to sex to gain its benefits. It is obviously incumbent upon men to provide this, which is why the other half of the socio-sexual dynamic is as vital.
Dominance in men is the strongest sexual arousal cue for women. Violence and aggression, the most straightforward expressions of that dominance, are intensely attractive to women, even when directed towards them. How better to demonstrate the will to rule than to express it upon even those close to you? That is what women want; the attention of a powerful man. The phenomenon of the abuse victims returning to the abuser stems from this.
Rape fantasies are one of the most, if not the most predominant sexual fantasy among women. Despite the taboo nature of this particular desire, more than half of women have such fantasies. During one study, when asked whether or not they had fantasies about a man overpowering them, fifty two percent admitted that they had. The actual pervasiveness of these fantasies is suspected to be higher, especially given the tendency towards deceit that women have when discussing their sexuality.
Eroticized rape fantasies have many common themes. The man is described as handsome, powerful, and forceful. Seduction and romance are sometimes involved in his treatment of the woman. He ignores any protests or resistance, unable to control himself, her beauty and sexuality overwhelming his senses. Once intercourse begins, she quickly ceases to fight, instead becoming a willing, even enthusiastic, participant. The entire experience changes to a pleasant one until it culminates with her achieving orgasm. Compare this to aversive rape fantasies, where the man is described as ugly, weak, and creepy, and which are marked by prominent feelings of pain, fear, and humiliation.
Here, I conclude that masculine dominance is desirable to women, even if they make quite a show of saying otherwise. This raises an obvious problem. Men have been stripped of their power by the law and the culture over the past hundred years, to the point that they are second to women in almost every sense. Preferences for jobs, benefits, programs, and legal protection all go to women. Any man trying to exercise his power will be beset on one side by a legal system that favors women, run and staffed by feminized lawyers, directed and administered by politicians answerable to women for their votes, and on the other, by a feminized culture that shames him and businesses that depend on women consuming their products. Women have created a system which creates men who are submissive to them. Women hold the power. They are, however, miserable because of this.
By taking masculine power for themselves, they have made men powerless, yet women desperately want and need the dominant men whose power they have claimed as their own. Women’s happiness has fallen as their authority over their own lives has risen. By tearing down men, they are unable to obtain their desires. They fill the emptiness with work while spending their time searching for some way to fulfill themselves. The most obvious are dominance play and erotica. Women are relegated to living vicariously through fictional characters and bargaining for that which they have denied themselves.
The bondage and dominance subculture first began to form around the turn of the twentieth century. It grew over the subsequent years up to the modern day, where it is known and accepted, or at the least, tolerated by the culture as a whole. The premise is at its core, consensual rape, abuse, and slavery. Violence and power imbalances are its hallmarks, allowing women to submit to men in order to satisfy their repressed natural desire for a dominant man. It becomes a caricature of the natural order in attempting to adapt to and operate within the confines of the society, but the intent is clear.
Though some women are masochistic, for the most part the predilection reveals itself in enjoyment of spanking, hair pulling, being held or restrained, and obeying commands. Mild physical discomfort and control, and mental and physical subjugation and subservience become erotically charged and desirable. Consider the types of contact between men and women that are considered intimate and erotic: hugging, wrapping an arm around the waist, holding and moving the hips, and most of all, touching, kissing, or grasping the neck; all are very dominant positions. The more power or control the man has in a position or action, the more vulnerable the woman is, and the more it is considered to be sexual and arousing.
Erotica has been described as emotional pornography, and that is an accurate description. Without a dominant man to whom she can submit herself, some women turn to the pages of a novel. Inside a book she can imagine herself as the heroine and the object of desire for a strong, powerful, virile man. The real world does its best to crush and neuter those kinds of men, so she retreats to the written world for solace. It serves the same purpose as visual pornography; it attempts to satisfy an unmet need but ultimately fails. Erotica is an empty promise that smooths the surface and leaves the inside as unsteady as it ever was.
The truth is, women need a dominant man present in their lives: her father as a little girl, and then, as she becomes a woman, her husband. Alone, she has a deep seated fear and insecurity, longing for a man of her own, one who will protect her and provide for her needs. Once she becomes sexually mature, she begins to need sex, as well, and thus it would be best to marry young, and to a dominant man willing to care for her. Women denied either sex or submission suffer from the lack. It is no surprise that the sex with a need for external sources of strength and stability would be anxious and miserable when those qualities are nowhere to be found.
Besides the issues of happiness raised earlier, how are women suffering? More than a quarter of women in America are on some kind of prescription psychiatric medication. Women are twice as likely to be depressed, three times as likely to suffer borderline personality disorder, and women have a higher rate of mental illness in general. They are more vulnerable to a host of issues, and their needs going unfulfilled is not helping.
Putting the sex already prone to mental disorders under even more stress and removing the stabilizing influence of masculine dominance from women’s lives has not been a wise plan. It becomes even more unwise when one considers that they are responsible for bringing forth the next generation The impact has been minor so far, and it is still devastating. The implications for the future are grim How long can a society do such unconscionable damage to the most vital members of society? When will this reality become too much to hide, and what is going to happen in the meantime?