Stuff old spinsters say.

Image source h/t MintheGip

Some of my readers, like me, are happily married women.  But did you know that your marriage, which seems like such a fulfilling vocation to you, is actually holding you back?  Allow a middle-aged spinster to pity you:

Isn’t it a pity that we can’t grow up first and then get married? Marriage is probably the single thing that holds women back from doing things they can do and being what they can be. It’s beginning to change. The difficult thing is, women have to get out into the battleground if they want to grow, and most normal married women don’t want to experience that battleground. They’re afraid they’ll get out there and find they now live on different planets from their husbands.

–Patricia O’Brien, The Woman Alone, p. 230, Quoted at The Bitter Babe

Yes indeed, all that money your husband earns, those children he gave you, and those regular injections of nature’s little anti-depressant that you get are really just ways that The Man Is Holding You Down.  Personally I love it when my man holds me down, but l digress.  Anyway, here I am making the pumpkin bread my husband loves and fantasizing about him banging me senseless when instead I could be “get[ing] out into the battleground” with other dried-up middle-aged feminist women?  Tough choices these are not.  But wait, there’s more!

And finally, if there is one attitude that women alone urgently need to change within themselves, it is their presumption they will marry and stay married. Women should plan from youth as if they might never marry; they should see this not as a bleak fate but as an expansion of possibilities that opens worlds, not closes them. If indeed maturity can be measured by the degree to which one attempts to perceive reality (a definition that appeals to me), then most women who stay deliberately blind to the possible prospects of divorce or widowhood have not yet moved out of their cradles.

–Patricia O’Brien, The Woman Alone, p. 222

Ponder, dear readers, the sad plight of us married ladies compared to our strong-n-independent spinster sisters with their empty cradles, and weep for us.  Actually, don’t.  Instead, read Song of Songs 2:8-15, which perfectly sums up how many of us really feel about our men:

8 The voice of my beloved!
Behold, he comes,
leaping over the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle
or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away,
11 for behold, the winter is past;
the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away.
14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face,
let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
15 Catch the foxes for us,
    the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
    for our vineyards are in blossom.”

Sisters, the little foxes that will spoil the vineyard of your marriage are your ingratitude, disrespect, arrogance, disloyalty, and discontentment.  Don’t let other women, especially dried-up old crabby-pants spinsters, whisper poison in your ear about women not needing men; you need your husband, and you are incredibly blessed to have him.  So, how are you going to show him that this weekend?  Make a plan now.

And while you are planning, enjoy some Sunshine Mary-approved weekend reading.

Culture and Politics

If you read nothing else this weekend, read this: Radish Magazine: 3.7 Fair Sex:

Feminism is all about equality and choices — according to feminists, which tells us… nothing. Nothing at all. Feminism, like Marxism and libertarianism (Radish 3.6), is a branch of political progressivism; obviously it’s going to invoke Liberty and Equality. (Even pedophiles are fighting “oppression” these days.) Throw in a little Diversity, and you’ve got the Holy Trinity of the Religion of Humanity (Radish 1.3) [...]

But to the feminist, who as I say is now indistinguishable from the all-purpose progressive, these victories are always on the verge of crumbling under relentless patriarchal assault, and women live in constant fear of mass disenfranchisement, sexual enslavement (not in a good way), and forcible conversion to Roman Catholicism. Accordingly, each election season, courageous Democrats unearth the latest Republican plot: to ban abortion, except for gay or black babies; to legalize rape if she’s wearing lipstick; to marry teenage girls to old men, and chop off their heads if they stay out past eleven — oh wait, Republicans oppose Islamic law, which is another point against them (the racists). Anyway, past performance notwithstanding, their dastardly scheme is sure to succeed this time — that is, unless all you liberated, empowered, thirty-year-old childless white women get out and rock the vote in exactly the same way. Which of course you do, because feminism is so important, because it lets you think for yourself. (“Texas only gives you five months to flush your baby! And the clinic has to be clean! Vote for Wendy Davis and her pink running shoes!” So brave.)

Good news: Bonald is blogging at Throne and Altar again, in addition to the Orthosphere!  Check out one of his new posts, Guilt and shame:

Liberals talk about “white America’s shameful history of…”  Conservatives sometimes reply that liberals have a problem with “guilt”.  This is one case where I think liberals are using words more correctly.  In common usage, guilt is something you feel about what you did, and shame is something you feel about what you are.

In Barilla, Golden Dawn—A Busy Time For Southern Europe’s Thought Police, John Derbyshire relates the story of the president of Barilla pasta in Italy saying that their ads would feature only traditional mother/father type families, and not homosexual couples:

He quickly learned that in the Western world of today there is only one permitted way to think. The homosexualist lobbies and their Leftist allies went into a feeding frenzy, launching boycotts via the Twitter hashtag #biocottabarilla and venting their outrage on talking-head TV shows.

…pasta aisles were vandalized in grocery stores in Bologna, “considered the most gay-friendly city in Italy.” [...] The president of a homosexualist group opined that Mr. Barilla’s view “that if you don’t agree, you can just eat another type of pasta” was “a dangerous message.” A Leftist parliamentarian was less alarmist, saying only that “we need to educate the public who agree with Barilla’s sentiment.” [...]

As with the Paula Deen business a few weeks ago, I longed for the heretic to spit in the faces of his accusers, to take a stand on the right to mild, traditionalist, tolerant opinions, with “tolerant” not a synonym for “approving.” I longed for a worldwide, or at least Italy-wide, burst of laughter to greet the assertion that being left free to pick one’s own brand of pasta is “dangerous.” I longed to read that the Italian public had risen up in indignation at the notion that they need to be “educated” out of their preference for customary family life.

Relationships and Sex

Han Solo’s post Girl Game is so Simple and Yet so Hard at Just Four Guys is a goldmine for the ladies:

Most of the dating advice out there for women misses the point or is a watered-down mixture of a few truths fouled by politically-correct toxic bromides, that are either irrelevant or downright damaging. Women who want the lowdown on what works with men need to get it straight from the horse’s stallion’s mouth–a blunt, honest and well-informed stallion, mind you, not from some Grima-Worm-Tongue white-knight mangina hack–and not from jealous or sympathetic mares that will either sabotage a seeking sister or drown out the medicine with sugary platitudes.

Girl game for long-term relationships comes down to three factors:

  1. Up your value
  2. Align the price you’re demanding (aka the value of the man) with your own value
  3. Promote and market yourself

OK, gentlemen, you probably want to skip the next one.  Ladies, if you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ve probably heard me talk about being a little worried about menopause, which I haven’t hit yet, but I know it’s coming within a few years.  I haven’t said much other than I’m anxious about it, but TempestTcup at Girls Being Girls has written up a really helpful post, Let’s Talk About Menopause, and I’m praying that my experience will mirror hers.  She writes:

I keep reading horror stories about pain and dryness during sex, but I haven’t had that. Instead, I have gotten much hornier. Much. The only thing that I have noticed is that there is a loss of sensitivity, but then I was always overly sensitive before all of this [...]

There is a loss of sensitivity in pretty much every aspect of sex with me now, but my husband has really upped his dominance since I’ve become more submissive, so it hasn’t been a problem. I wonder if this loss of sensitivity is why some women lose interest in sex. All I know is, with my increased desire (maybe caused by my husband’s increased dominance?), the discussion going around about “never say no” doesn’t apply to me. I’m always ready to go.

See, what I haven’t previously admitted is that what keeps me up at night is this worry, “What if I don’t want it anymore after I go through menopause?  What if I have to start practicing all that stuff I preach to women on my blog about saying yes to sex even if you don’t particularly feel like it?  I don’t want to have duty sex!”  Anyway, Tempest gives some good information about diet and supplements, so if you’re a forty-something lady, check it out.

Domestic Arts

Finally, the girls and I went apple-picking at our favorite orchard, Wasem’s, several weeks ago, and I’ve been on an apple-dessert making spree.  Here is the recipe for an apple cake I made yesterday; I meant to get a picture of it looking all lovely and fresh from the pan, but as you can see, my family got to the cake before I did:

image

Ingredients:

  • 8 medium-small apples
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 4-5 tablespoons sugar
  • 2 3/4 cups flour
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/4 cup apple cider or apple juice
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 4 eggs

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a tube pan. Peel, core and chop apples into chunks. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar and set aside.

Sift together flour, baking powder, nutmeg and salt in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together oil, cider or juice, sugar and vanilla. Mix wet ingredients into the dry ones, then add eggs, one at a time, beating after each one.

Pour half of batter into tube pan. Spread half of apples over it. Pour the remaining batter over the apples and arrange the remaining apples on top. Bake for about 1 1/2 hours.  Cool for several hours, then run a knife between cake and pan, and unmold onto a cake plate.

Have a blessed weekend, dear readers!

106 thoughts on “Stuff old spinsters say.

  1. Cail Corishev

    So, sitting in a cubicle, obeying your boss, answering a phone, and filling out reports = engaging in battle and experiencing personal growth. Butting heads with your children and teaching them, obeying and sexing-up your husband, maintaining a household schedule and budget, and dealing with teachers, neighbors, and solicitors = nary a battle to be found, no chance for personal growth there.

  2. HanSolo

    Thanks for linking to my post. I hope it’s of use to your female readers.

    Also, near the end of the comment section, there’s a TED video that shows a woman who was not doing many of the 5 P’s of girl game I listed and in her own nerdy and annoying, but in the end, effective, way discovered many of them and implemented them to some degree and found a good husband. It’s fascinating how at first she had a 3-page, 72-point list and in trying internet dating decided to write this Mr. Perfect (with no thought of whether he liked her). He didn’t even write back. She also had the feminist’s pride that putting her best foot forward lookswise didn’t matter but she discovered that she should put up better pictures and have a friendlier and more approachable personality.

    Eventually, she found a man, more at her level (she got her pickiness and hypergamy in check) and they have a child.

    Anyway, watch the video and take hope, single women. If an annoying and, at best, average looking woman, can implement just a bit of girl game (and lowering her pickiness was a big part of that) and find a good husband then you can too.

  3. DrTorch

    ~ most women who stay deliberately blind to the possible prospects of divorce or widowhood have not yet moved out of their cradles~

    Who stays deliberately blind? Isn’t that excuse even “conservative” Christians use for why their daughters must go to college?

    Anyway, none of that bit made any sense, and I’m not keen to get my mind warped trying to straighten out absurdity here at the end of the week.

  4. FuzzieWuzzie

    The hamster must be strong with spinsters. It takes a lot of rationalization to offer up the best reproductive years to Corporate America.

    [ssm: Exactly.]

  5. Christina

    Lol Cail…

    With all its ups and downs and the exhaustion (that is improving slowly), the mommy thing is so worth it.

    I have been working on Halloween costumes lately and something that has been popping up a bit is how I’m actually rather good at sewing. I want to use it for my family, but the pay to hour ratio is a bit dismal… something I’d never be able to do if I was the breadwinner or single.

    I’m still a poor housekeeper, but my energy has been improving. So perhaps after my plate starts emptying, I’ll walk away with better habits than I began with.

  6. redpillsetmefree

    Sisters, the little foxes that will spoil the vineyard of your marriage are your ingratitude, disrespect, arrogance, disloyalty, and discontentment. Don’t let other women, especially dried-up old crabby-pants spinsters, whisper poison in your ear about women not needing men; you need your husband, and you are incredibly blessed to have him. So, how are you going to show him that this weekend? Make a plan now.

    Agree 100%. Problem is, women like SSM & Elpseth are in the minority.

    So I think that the two of you should start a blog, and have other women of like minds join as well.

    Call it ‘The Women Who Know How to Treat Men’ blog. And club. Single ladies welcome.

  7. Zach Frey

    Wasem’s is fantastic. That’s all I have to add.

    [ssm: Wasem's is the BEST. Here is why I love Wasem's:

    1. They are a family-owned business.
    2. They are unabashedly Christian.
    3. They are an actual orchard where you go pick your own fruit. Many of the other orchards around here aren't like that anymore. Wiard's doesn't even allow you to pick apples unless you pay almost $20 per person to enter their Country Fair, which is chock full of evil, scary Halloween stuff. And you can't pick AT ALL at Plymouth Orchard anymore, though we do still go there every year for the hayride through the orchard. If you're in south-east Michigan, I highly recommend Wasem Fruit Farm.]

  8. Amanda

    Those spinsters are rationalizing BIG time. All I ever wanted growing up was to be a wife and mother. I suspect this is true of all women, if they’re willing to be gut level honest with themselves. Thanks for the recipe — sounds yummy!

  9. FuzzieWuzzie

    I just went to the Bitter Babe site. What an eye opener! While it may not go over well with Christians, this woman needs a boyfriend fast and a free weekend.
    I am gaining some insight on why dating is rough. It’s battling the hamsters!

  10. Bike Bubba

    Michigan orchards….good memories…..cider and donuts….mmmm……and love the cartoon, too. Wouldn’t it be even more humiliating to accidentally put that on the test and then have a few of the kids tell you in no uncertain terms why teacher’s best friend is a cat?

    I wonder if there are any appropriate videos of bears dancing that might have some light to shed on the subject.

  11. Just Saying

    “holds women back from doing things they can do and being what they can be.”

    Women have evolved for certain things, and none of them are sitting at a desk,, or competing with men. Their job is to be what men want – not to try to “be men” just as men need to stop trying to be women, like feminists keep trying to beat into the brains of boys, and society drugs them to try to make them less male. and more compliant like a female.

    That is what is wrong with society – men and women are perfect as they evolved, and ARE exactly what the other wants. It is as simple as that. If someone is spouting some “new” idea on how the sexes should interact – it’s bullsh*t since we are are we evolved to be, each for the other. (Or you can say as “God Intended” it makes no difference, since it is saying the same thing. We are equipped with everything we need to succeed in life, from the day we are born.) We learn how to increase our odds at success – or should. But certain elements try to teach us to be what we aren’t meant to be.

    The key is knowing when to call BS and when not to. So when someone says a woman is being “held back” you know it’s BS. No man every wanted to “hold back” a woman – because women and men should be complimentary, not in competition. If you are a woman and think you’re in competition with men – you need to look at your life and priorities as you were designed from conception to be something a man will never me – a Mother, just as he was designed to be what you will never be – a Father/Provider. If you are Female, and find yourself at 40 with never having been a Mother – you failed at life. You can point to money,and other things, but you failed at the one thing you were born to be.

    Feminism has screwed all of that up – that is why I tell guys, don’t try to fight it. You can’t – and it is a waste of your time trying. But you can make it work for you, and by doing so, make it so that it fails for all of the women listening to Feminists. Eventually, things will collapse and reset – it is inevitable. That is why there are so many unhappy women out there – they find that men are either enjoying them when they are young and tossing them aside, or just not playing the Feminist game. Unhappy women, changed the dynamics – since misery loves company. So now there are more women unhappy, then ever before – it just makes it so they realize it too late. Of course men, can still enjoy – either by being men (a rarer and rarer commodity) or by doing their own thing. Men have always been happy and adaptive – and we always will be. We can be Fathers at 80, women lose their reason to exist at 37 – when they will never be a Mother. Then evolution is done with them, and so are men..

    So either embrace what you were made to be ladies, or lose it. That is the only real choice a woman needs to make, and the one that is most important.

  12. RichardP

    “… women have to get out into the battleground if they want to grow …”

    I’ve seen plenty of pregnant wives grow well enough, without being out there on the battleground.

  13. Norm

    I know someone who’s niece is 36, a corporate lawyer and makes nearly 1 M a year. She is single and actually a decent lady. She is single, never married. She probably will remain that. How many men or anyone make over $1M a year?
    BTW. with your apple cake recipe you can also substitute half the sugar with stevia for even less calories. I don’t bake too often, but I use organic sugar. Will try out your cake recipe.

  14. lovelyleblanc7

    Actually what TemptestTcup has experienced is normal. When a woman hits menopause, she stops producing estrogen and so, therefore, has an increase of testosterone and a decrease of estrogen. So, it makes sense that her sex drive would go up.
    Correct me if I am wrong please.

  15. Christina

    Lovelyblanc, that’s what I thought, too. In fact I know I had heard that the 40+ crowd of women are hornier than their younger sisters… which is what I thought contributed to the “cougar” trend.

    But I’m nowhere near it and i haven’t spent much time thinking about it, so could def be wrong.

  16. RichardP

    lovely and Christina are both correct. If you read the research, you will see that the body makes one last gasp at making babies – throwing off a surge of hormones much like the increase in activity at the end of the fireworks show. And then everything goes dark.

    On the other hand, the research alos shows that some women have an upsurge in their libido when it is all over – because their constant fear of getting pregnant disappears and they are free to abandon themselves to the whims of their husbands.

  17. Jenny

    Really want to try that recipe – the apples on my trees are almost ripe! It is worrying just how excited by that I am! :) x

    [ssm: I really recommend this recipe. The cake is amazingly moist.]

  18. Cail Corishev

    It occurs to me that this “get in the battle” stuff is a First World Problem. In most cultures and eras, women had plenty of work and difficulty in their lives and would have appreciated any luxury and safety they might get. Only in a culture as wealthy and pampered as ours would women go looking for battles and consider the opportunity to raise children in a safe and plentiful environment to be insufficiently satisfying.

  19. earl

    Yeah because if there is one thing a man REALLY finds attractive in a woman is when she is all bombed out and depleted after going through “the battlefield.” There’s nothing better than post traumatic stress disorder…or the thousand cock stare.

    Newsflash: Guy aren’t attracted to masculine traits in women (unless they are of a closeted nature)

  20. sunshinemary Post author

    If you read the research, you will see that the body makes one last gasp at making babies – throwing off a surge of hormones much like the increase in activity at the end of the fireworks show.

    Interesting. That’s exactly what I’ve experienced, the Great Sex Drought of September 2013 notwithstanding.

    And then everything goes dark.

    Wait..wh-what do you mean by everything goes dark?

  21. Elspeth

    Wait..wh-what do you mean by everything goes dark?

    Don’t panic, Sunshine. I’ve seen too many women between 50 and 60 get married over the past 2 years to believe that “everything goes dark.”

    Not to mention that recent rash of STD outbreaks down here in The Villages, where old people retire to live it up.

    Everything doesn’t go dark. It can’t. It might slow down, but I doubt it goes dark.

    Just keep exercising and eating your yogurt hummus dip with celery so you look halfway presentable, LOL.

  22. Christina

    Ssm,

    It sounds like what rp is saying is that when the surge in hormones drops completely, there is a temporary drop in libido probably because of the sudden and severe change in hormones (like what triggers milk production and ppd in new mothers and pms after ovulation).

    But when the body adjusts to the new hormonal profile, libido increases because of the lack of fertile consequences.

  23. an observer

    Libertarian philosophy is neither progressive, nor racist.

    Progessive movements are centrist, which unless you’re reading Cato institute press releases, libertarian thinking is not. And racism is a common charge perpetuated by the equalists. How dare anybody suggest that people of different races are culturally dissimilar!

    Charges dismissed.

  24. RichardP

    “Wait..wh-what do you mean by everything goes dark?”

    That was just a play on the fireworks imagery. Everything goes dark = the body has made it’s final shot at dumping the last of its baby-making hormones into the system; then menopause ensues. Much more peaceful than the fireworks that preceed it. Everything goes dark = everything goes peaceful.

    Except that the statistics show that women tend to initiate divorce more frequently after menopause. Maybe that’s part of the peaceful?

  25. Bike Bubba

    Reading the stories of those who “make it big” in business remind me of a time I described a former manager who had done well in his career, but had no ife outside of work. Their response: “Well, he’s got money.” Yup, and that’ll be a comfort to them all when they’re retired and the nursing home doesn’t allow cats, won’t it?

  26. Christina

    An observer,

    From a political standpoint, libertarian may indeed not be progressive, but on the social, “humanity” side, it is permissive and progressive in what is allowed. Though someone here claimed libertarianism that claims all is permissible and social stigma is a no no is not what the libertarian “party” is about, it is still a social libertine perspective.

    I do not think the author of that was talking of a political party, but rather a social philosophy.

  27. Christina

    Ahh… observrr, I take itback. Just reread it and he does refer to a political movement.

    I do agree w him, but it makes my last comment moot.

  28. Happyhen

    “Anyway, here I am making the pumpkin bread my husband loves”

    Must be pumpkin day. Made pumpkin pie as a treat (I think my family could eat a whole one of these every day, and we all would be as big as a doublewide) and curried cream of pumpkin soup. Nights are getting cool and pumpkin just seems right. Grilling steaks as well tonight and having some bacon and cream brussel sprouts. Yeah, cooking for my family, not feeling real unfulfilled or sad about my life. And my husband and I do indeed live on the same planet. A planet with yummy food and happy nights. ;)

  29. Lee Lee Bug

    . They are an actual orchard where you go pick your own fruit. Many of the other orchards around here aren’t like that anymore. Wiard’s doesn’t even allow you to pick apples unless you pay almost $20 per person to enter their Country Fair, which is chock full of evil, scary
    Halloween stuff.

    Wow. I’ve never heard of an orchard where you can’t pick your own. The orchard near us is run by an elderly blind preacher and his wife and there are no pre-picked apples for sale. You have to pick your own. They let the local food shelf glean what’s leftover.

    They charge 25 cents a pound for drops (apples that have fallen off the trees) and 75 cents per pound for apples picked from the trees. They trust their customers to be honest when they go up to the register to pay.

    Last weekend we picked 10 pounds of drops for applesauce (you have to use them right away) and 15 pounds of tree apples. We paid just under $14.

    After making and freezing crockpot applesauce, http://southernfood.about.com/od/apples/r/r100124f.htm, we’ve been on an apple dessert making frenzy and the kids have been munching raw apples as snacks. We only have a few pounds left so we’re thinking about heading back to the orchard tomorrow.

  30. Lee Lee Bug

    @SSM
    Your apple comment reminded me of a random factoid I learned last year. I was reporting on how a late spring freeze had all but decimated the Vermont apple crop. I spoke to a cider producer to find out how they would be able to stay in business through the next season and found out that they were buying apples from Michigan. Turns out that Michigan is the “apple capitol” of the U.S.

    Of course the imported apples raised the cost of a gallon of fresh pressed cider from $3.99 to around $7.99.Thankfully, the apple crop has been outstanding this fall.

  31. earl

    “Years ago, a male friend of mine (somewhat rudely) suggested to me that if all my dates weren’t working out, perhaps the problem was with me. I had gone on dates with him too; he later came out of the closet.

    He now complains weekly on Facebook about how none of his dates with men ever work out.”

    Heh…maybe ole bitter babe doesn’t realize her lesbianism turned a guy gay and she made him toxic to men.

  32. FuzzieWuzzie

    earl, there are buckets of irony in this. Please somebody correct me if I got this wrong. The impression I got of the Bitter Babe is that she is straight.

  33. Lady Just Saying

    Which would I rather be a spinster or a door mat. I’ll take spinster for $100, Bob. While you and your ilk would obviously rather be door mats, it’s all a matter of personal preference, isn’t it? Have a happy life, worshipping your center of the universe — that would be your husband. I’ll enjoy my view from my penthouse apartment and trips to Egypt and Spain.

  34. an observer

    women tend to initiate divorce more frequently after menopause. 

    Men treated as a resource to pay for childrens upbringing. Once theres no more chance of babies, why bother keeping him around?

    With state enforced chilimony and church backed blessing, its express to the divorce court. One epl fantasy to go, thanks.

  35. an observer

    Libertarianism by definition cannot ever be a political movement. Its not that the political system is broken; its working exactly as intended.

    Its like the mgtow vs mra argument. The latter blame the former for not engaging the system. The former know the system cannot be reformed, because its achieiving what is was designed for.

  36. FuzzieWuzzie

    Observer,
    How can there be child support once the kids are grown and out of the house? Normally your logic can’t be faulted. I don’t think it’s meno pause that is prompting these divorces but, rather, an empty nest. A lot of couples keep it together for the children and it all blows up when they’re gone.
    I’ve looked at a lot of 50+ online dating profiles and this must be common.

  37. an observer

    Fuzzie,

    I gather the feminasties are seeking to extend chilimony to cover college. That can take five or six years.

    Then when they start a job at starbucks, they move back home with mom. See here.
    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-10-04/30-mindblowing-statistics-about-americans-under-age-30

    Thanks for the compliment. When calculating ages, i was thinking of a late marrying woman with mid to late teen children by the time she hits menopause. An expensive time.

  38. an observer

    couples keep it together for the children and it all blows up when they’re gone.

    Think it through. Women initiate most divorces, often planning for years when and how to kick him out.

    What would make the average solipsist put up with discomfort any longer than absolutely necessary?

    Answer: necessity. Women are the essential pragmatists. It may be financial, social, or anything. Shes already denying him sex, dissing him, and building her new support network. She hopes he will have an affair, thus excusing what she was going to do anyway.

    Not for a second would the typical woman stick it out if there are alternative choices. And the feminist judicial system is not short on offering incentives.

  39. FuzzieWuzzie

    Observer, your last comment reminded me of my Dad’s second wife. Ouch!
    Do you think we could rewrite “Sleeping With the Enemy”? Nah, it would “never play in Peoria”.

  40. Johnycomelately

    A lot of spinsters still get some on the side, following Deti’s observation, if they want it they’ll get it. They just dont won’t icky marriages.

    Just finished a conversation with a 26 year old work colleague (blue collar), he’s lined up being ‘friends with benefits’ with a divorced 36 year old with three children (good looking woman) and a 40 year old married woman whose husband is a successful franchise owner.

    In addition he has an on and off relationship with a 23 year old, an easy 8 and is working on another 40 year old spinster.

    The people on this board are mostly married, well educated, intelligent and culturally conservative, you have no idea what it’s like in the trenches at the working class (the silent majority) level. It is a veritable cesspool.

  41. Farm Boy

    Women should plan from youth as if they might never marry; they should see this not as a bleak fate but as an expansion of possibilities that opens worlds, not closes them.

    Why is it that women always talk in terms of possibilities and worlds and stuff? Fellas don’t talk that way.

  42. Farm Boy

    All I ever wanted growing up was to be a wife and mother. I suspect this is true of all women, if they’re willing to be gut level honest with themselves.

    Perhaps. In a different era

    But I mostly see girls that want to have fun. Which do not make for good mothers.

  43. Farm Boy

    spinster sisters with their empty cradles

    No, no. Harry Chapin clearly stated that the cat’s in the cradle

  44. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy, all this talk about “girls want to have fun”. Bear is resisting urge to link Cindy Lauper.
    And Socrates last words: “I drank what?!”

  45. pukeko60

    What a spinster misses out on is kids and a man. Now, some married women also miss out of kids (and in better times they adopted children). But a spinster has work, her yoga, her travel and her experiences.
    And that sounds a lot like MGTOW. A way that can be honourable, but can also be selfish, and no way to preserve society.

  46. Chris

    Addendum to previous comments about enjoying (ahem) domestic life: the bed is too big without another. Garfield and Oates have written ugly truth in a pretty song.

  47. nomadicjester

    The problem I see constantly (when im in the u.s)
    Is that the men and women don’t know what they are missing out or just don’t care. It makes sense if one remembers they do not know God, or at least know that they do wrong. It’s like they are on an air transmitted virus that makes men and women act insane but they don’t even know it, mostly. While we are immune to the virus. After a while they lose all their sane reasoning, but are able to function and live. But then one day there is a cure, but no one wants it!

    Sorry for the bad grammar.

  48. Chris

    I have not been to the USA for about eight years or so. I’ve avoided it: when I go to scientific meetings (which are generally in Europe: I once met up with a bunch of people from Australia at a meeting in Oulu, Finland. We had all travelled from the Antipodes to just below the artic circle when we live but 1200 miles apart) I tend to visit family in Canada on the way back and the deliberately fly from Vancouver rather than San Francisco or Los Angeles on the final leg.
    When I last visited, the feminist memes had not dug into small town America, which was refreshingly innocent. Risky at times. (Not sure what was more dangerous, walking in Downtown Atlanta or in Northern Georgia. I was married then, and my wife was clearly chinese).
    It seems things have either gone way downhill, way fast, or I was wearing rose tinted glasses.

  49. sue

    my heart continually goes out to these lonely “cat” ladies. having enough sin to deal with, i really do not need to add to the list by making fun of people’ s misfortunes – yep aged out “spinsters” are people too. oh yeah, and some of those lonely women may be the Lord’s daughters.

  50. Opus

    What Cail Corbishev fails to notice is that the reason it is better for a woman to remain single is so that she might indeed acquire that Nobel Prize for Physics (as we all do) thus proving that she is as good as any man. Even if she fails in that she will surely be one of those $1,000,000 a year lawyers (not that I have ever met one) like Norm’s friend, and given that men simply bend over backwards when a woman enters the workplace such dreams are surely well within reach for every woman.

    …and what to do with all that money. Happily Just Saying tells us. She is going to travel to Egypt, and as all knowledgable people know, Egypt is the home of those guys called Mohammed and Ibrahim whose day job is like my night job, and their fees are very reasonable (by western standards). The fact that they are twenty years younger than you is only proof of your physical desirability.

    Feminism merely turns women into Corporate Courtesans.

  51. Vera

    Tempest cup is only at the very beginning of menopause. Your blog has no older women on it so you don’t know what happens as there is a culture of silence around menopause. All everybody talks about is hot flashes. Your vaginal lining will thin so it will go down from say 20 layers to 7. What happens is that without topical estrogen you cannot have sex you will get actual lacerations and bleeding. That’s actually where the term “dried up old” whatever refers to. This happens to 100 percent of women, the ones who are say 5 years into menopause and claim they have sex all the time with no topical estrogen are lying. Many couples give up sex because of this as many women think they are the only ones who have a problem, are embarrassed and never discuss it with their doctor.

  52. Elspeth

    @ Vera:

    Thanks for the honesty. I have known younger women who got topicla testosterone to help with their marital intimacy issues so I don’t know why an older woman would be reluctant to get estrogen from her doctor, especially with the “new”, safer, bio-identical hormones available.

  53. earl

    “my heart continually goes out to these lonely “cat” ladies. having enough sin to deal with, i really do not need to add to the list by making fun of people’ s misfortunes – yep aged out “spinsters” are people too. oh yeah, and some of those lonely women may be the Lord’s daughters.”

    Nothing wrong with pity…but there is a difference between pity and mercy.

    Those aging ladies have every chance at mercy as long as they are breathing as long as they admit they were prideful about their choices, seek contrition, and receive forgiveness. I rarely see that.

  54. Farm Boy

    Bear is resisting urge to link Cindy Lauper.

    F.T. Bear, I am testing you. Do you have the self-mastery not to link?

  55. Farm Boy

    my heart continually goes out to these lonely “cat” ladies

    Some sympathy is warranted. However, many of them dismissed what should have been considered to be perfectly acceptable fellas in their younger days, thus dooming herself and a guy to singleness.

    And then there are the kids that were never born

  56. nomadicjester

    “Those aging ladies have every chance at
    mercy as long as they are breathing as long
    as they admit they were prideful about their
    choices, seek contrition, and receive
    forgiveness. I rarely see that.”

    Because feminism and the american culture in general teaches that they do no wrong. Catwomen substitute cats for babies- some kind of fail safe from total insanity, it looks to be.

  57. Farm Boy

    better for a woman to remain single is so that she might indeed acquire that Nobel Prize

    A valid point. Even Obama got one

  58. Farm Boy

    Guys wear MGTOW better than gals wear WGTOW.

    Must be something intrinsically different there.

    Just sayin’

  59. earl

    “Because feminism and the american culture in general teaches that they do no wrong.”

    Yeah I’m aware of that…perhaps this is why I enjoy this clip.

    They need to do like I did and nuke the solipsism (ego) hamster.

  60. C. M. Sturges

    Thank you sweetie for linking me. As the old codger and Uncle to most of the Manosphere, when ladies I respect link to me I feel honored. I’ll tell Tempest hello for you when we all meet up in Vegas.

  61. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy, considering the collective howls of disapproval from all corners that would ensue, I will not link Cindy Lauper.
    Chris, I liked that Garfunkel and Oates video. It was right on point.

  62. Cail Corishev

    I’ll enjoy my view from my penthouse apartment and trips to Egypt and Spain. — Just Saying

    Maybe you will. Not every woman is cut out to be a wife, after all. (That’s why we used to have convents.) But for every unmarried woman who is happily jetting around Europe, there are a lot more who are plugging away at a boring desk job, living in a small apartment with an annoying roommate, putting up Christmas stockings for their cats, and hanging out in nightclubs waiting for Mr. Perfect to come along and banging Mr. Bearable now and then in the meantime whenever the loneliness gets too strong. There are so many of them that we came up with a title for them: cougar. They thought they were going to make it to the penthouse too. How do you know you will?

    And just to make things interesting, many of the careers that allowed women to stay single and live the jet-setter life (or even the cat-infested-apartment life) were funded by a debt balloon that has gotten so bad even Congressional Republicans are starting to take it seriously. An awful lot of glad-handing, make-work, and travel-heavy jobs are about to dry up in a hurry.

  63. feeriker

    That’s a panda-sized hamster she’s exercising there. I’m surprised it has’nt dropped dead of a coronary.

    @An Observer:

    Thank you for you clarification, for the benefit of the readership, on libertarianism. The misconceptions, so oft repeated, are maddening to see repeated. Your clearing up of these was spot on.

  64. Bucho

    @Cail Corishev October 5, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    And with the education bubble looming, it may be increasingly difficult to retreat back to the ivory towers and try to continue the lifestyle funded by Sallie Mae….

  65. ukfred

    May I, as the husband of a post-menopausal woman comment on sex within marriage post the menopause. For a while shortly after the frequwency did increasebut now, some three or so years later, not only has frequency returned to less than before, but I am suffering from ED, basically because DW will not let herself get turned on before sex, but seems to want the minimum tumescence to avoid pain and then to want to get it over with as soon as possible.

    On a totally different tack, I can remember a spoof psychology paper when I was a student in the 1970′s which included the question, “Justify the solipsist theory of psychology.”

  66. pukeko60

    ukfred, if you have ED it indicates that you are at high risk of CVD. For which I have just taken my statin and aspirin and antihypertensive like a good boy (I do not have Cardiovascular disease but have other problems that put me at high risk and I am told to take these even though my cholesterol is lower than when I was 20). Get your dear wife to take you to the GP.

    For at present we need every member of the remnant.

  67. nomadicjester

    Nice video, Earl!
    I hate it when I hear parents say to their kids” Ohh, you special snowflake, you are like none. You are too special for this world!” They might mean well, but it is not preparing them for the world. When they grow up with their women studies degree- I don’t know the male equivalent- they will find out that as long as they do not have what the world values , the world won’t care if they jump off a bridge. Then they get angry that their value-less career choice did not land them a job. ( because since everyone is so special, there should be a job for…everyone!)

    Where can a person with a masters in women studies work?….Starbucks!!!!!

  68. nomadicjester

    Forgot one thing:
    Those same women grow old and bitter and give awful advice which is ruining their future. It is a cycle of pain, which pains me because some people are sooo unlucky to have people like this turbo-driven hamster tell them things like this. The bible warns against listening to old women ramble. Thanks again for the video, earl,made me laugh, heh.

  69. nightskyradio

    Farm Boy – better for a woman to remain single is so that she might indeed acquire that Nobel Prize

    A valid point. Even Obama got one

    But Obama is not a single woman.

    Heh heh.

  70. hoellenhund2

    One random question: has anyone ever seen a woman on the interwebz that is a) red pill and b) single and c) non-religious? Why are there nowhere to be seen? Is it true that women simply cannot handle the truth about the SMP without putting on the psychological armor of reassuring religious dogma?

  71. dannyfrom504

    OH!!!! so now you’re posting recipes. trying to muscle in on my territory? lol.

    “Personally I love it when my man holds me down, but l digress.”
    naught, naughty woman.

    [ssm: What? I just meant socio-politically, that's all! tee-hee :)]

  72. infowarrior1

    @hoellenhund2

    There is one:
    “I am an atheist.

    I do not believe in God.

    I do not believe in the “afterworld”.

    I do not believe any sort of imaginary force, being or energy controls or created the universe.

    I don’t KNOW how the universe was created and neither does anybody else. That information will be discovered soon enough, and until then, I am not compelled to make up a story to fill in the knowledge gap”

    http://judgybitch.com/2013/08/25/richard-dawkins-hands-feminists-a-fabulous-argument-and-not-one-of-them-touches-it-i-wonder-why-not/

  73. Chris

    The good Judgby Beatch is married with kids. She’s one of the honest athiests. From her most recent missive.

    I will never understand this. Not ever. How can a political philosophy and ideology that rests on the assumption that women are every bit as logical and rational and emotionally stable as men turn around and claim that the exact same advertising techniques that apply to everyone are somehow evil and deplorable when women are targeted?

    Why are they evil? Why are they deplorable?

    Oh, that’s because poor wittle women are not logical and rational and emotionally stable enough to withstand those predatory advertisers who take advantage of their vulnerabilities.

    Seriously, which is it? Why in the hell would we put women in positions of actual power and authority when the suggestion they buy some lipstick on a Monday morning completely unhinges them? Oh, yes, please, put the chick who felt ugly and therefore victimized in charge of national defense spending. I guess she should get Mondays off, though, since her feelings are so incredibly likely to impair her judgement and sense of self-worth.

    As if advertisers do not try to manipulate everyone.

  74. nomadicjester

    @Infowarrior
    I was some what un-believing but When I went to africa I saw magical things happen. Including me being…bewitched by a medicine man.
    Hollenhound should go to heartise’s chateau to see some.

  75. imnobody00

    “I don’t KNOW how the universe was created and neither does anybody else. That information will be discovered soon enough,

    Nobody knows if this will be discovered (maybe is beyond human reason or science). And nobody knows if this will discovered soon enough (even if it is discovered, it could be 4000 years from now).

    You exhibit a lot of blind faith, as most atheists do. And fallacies like: “The future will prove me right” (every man can say this so this does not prove anything).

    Even more, it is rational to assume that the creation of the Universe will always be beyond the grasp of a naked ape living in the third rock of a vulgar solar system. This first moment cannot be experienced in labs and the laws of the Universe do not apply to this moment, so we don’t have anything to compare.

    So you don’t only have blind faith, but blind faith in irrational beliefs like human reason can know it all.

    “and until then, I am not compelled to make up a story to fill in the knowledge gap”

    It is not making up a story. It is having the best explanation for the evidence. Read Swimburne and Plantinga with an open mind.

    But you make up a story telling this will be discovered soon enough. It is unfortunate that it is not possible to bet over here, but I will bet you 1,000 dollars that this is not discovered before we die (let’s put the gamble when I am 80, because, after death, you cannot pay bets)..

  76. Farm Boy

    I just meant socio-politically, that’s all!,

    “The patriarchy has been very very good to me.”

    FT Bear, please resist posting the Chico Valanzuela video.

  77. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy, I won’t post “Baseball has been very good to me.”.
    By the way, can you tell me what “FT” stands for?

  78. infowarrior1

    @nomadicjester

    But you see in the atheist viewpoint as far as I can see(Perhaps I am wrong). Their assumption is that of naturalism of which the supernatural is impossible. Since nature is a closed system. Your experience has a natural explanation. So perhaps you were hypnotized or conned or some natural phenomenon you took as supernatural happened.

    But miracles are not impossible supposing a creator. For they do not violate laws of nature as laws of nature are observations of regularities under certain conditions. So a miracle or the supernatural is introducing new conditions or a new factor into the equation hence altering the final result.

  79. sunshinemary Post author

    @ Danny

    OH!!!! so now you’re posting recipes. trying to muscle in on my territory? lol.

    LOL

    By the way, Maeve and I both made your polpette recipe. Here were our thoughts:

    Maeve:

    I made Danny’s Polpette(s) for dinner last night and they were truly sublimely delish!

    Sunshine Mary:

    Oh, I made them several weeks ago, and we really liked them. I stuffed them with prosciutto. My only recommendation is to reduce the salt that you add to the meat, especially if you add prosciutto. Mine were a little too salty, so I made some plain white rice to go with them to cut the saltiness.

  80. RedHeadedNurse

    I’d rather be single than married to a womanizer. Always worrying about what STD he’s going to bring home, no thank you. Womanizers don’t all of a sudden become faithful, anyone who believes that is blind to reality.

    [ssm: And single I don't doubt you shall always be...and since I suspect you are one of my lurking feminist fannies, and I know how ya'll feel about both cats and GIFs, here is a little something in the way of a future life prediction for you.]

  81. Celeste

    I am a non-religious red-pill woman. I mostly lurk on these blogs because I am learning and have little to say. I figure that successful religions are those that acknowledge human nature, and that unsuccessful religions probably died out because they were unable to incorporate truths about human nature. I enjoy the discussion here, religion and all. However I am married, to a similarly red-pill non-religious man.

  82. FuzzieWuzzie

    RedHeadedNurse, there is another option. You don’t have to marry a woamnaizer. To exercise this option, you do have to resist preselection as a qualification and open up to the possibility of growing in a relationship. It’s not like buying a car.

    SSM, that GIF is horrible. How does this woman sleep if the cats have her bed as part of their racetrack?

  83. Farm Boy

    I’d rather be single than married to a womanizer.

    Well then, find a fella who isn’t a womanizer.

    Or is that the only kind you are attracted to?

  84. RichardP

    She wasn’t discussing her marriage prospects. She was making a slam against SSM. SSM saw it and responded.

  85. dannyfrom504

    SSM-

    yeah, she mentioned it on my site. glad you liked them. also….i rarely use salt when i cook. i add just enough to season the other ingredients. but i’m glad you liked.

    you girl’s site is too funny. i read it when i’m at work for a chuckle.

  86. Leon K (@LeonKr4)

    You wrote that feminism unleashed the innate self-centeredness of women and I don’t really agree with that. I don’t think women are naturally self-centered but feminism has taught them that they need to put themselves first, that they need to stick it to men, that they need to have a career or else they are worthless. I believe feminism is brainwashing them to be that way as opposed to them naturally being that way and feminism bringing it out of them as you suggested.

  87. Opus

    Leon K has a point.

    By way of anecdote, some years ago myself and a fellow lawyer were backed up in one of Her Majesties Crown Courts behind a case being presented by female counsel, and we had with us a female student. The female lawyer’s case was not going well, and she kept making the same points in ever shriller tones. This began to annoy the male judge, who (as it was near one) adjourned for Luncheon.

    My colleague and the young woman retired to the waiting room, where the young female was gushing about how wonderful the female lawyer was as she was ‘standing up to a man’. It is hard for me to understand how even a student could fail to see that the point of any case is to achieve the best result for your client, and equally how she could fail to observe that the approach being taken by the lady lawyer was proving entirely unproductive in that regard. My colleague and I (some forty or fifty years legal experience between the pair of us) then spent ten minutes of our lives patiently attempting to explain to our student that the point of the case was not to beat men but to obtain the best possible result and in that the lady Counsel was woefully failing.

    I can only conclude that the young student had been brainwashed (I can think of no better term) into believing that men were ‘oppressors of women’ and thus that men needed to be stood up to’.

    The lady lawyer’s approach (one she doubtless uses on her husband) may not have been so unsuccessful for on resumption at two, the Judge, in true White Knight fashion, apologised to the lady lawyer for losing his cool! Would he have apologised had counsel been male? I sincerely doubt it and I cannot think of any other instance where I have seen a Judge apologise.

  88. Farm Boy

    It may be a combination of both. People have a natural selfish streak that is ideally socialized out of them when they are young. Feminism tries to undo this training and put the selfishness into overdrive.

  89. Lady Just Saying

    @Sgt/58

    What exactly am I jealous of? You’re just assuming I’m single — I said I’d rather be a spinster than a door mat, not that I was single — . But if someone would rather be a door mat — then by all means be one. I am the live and let live type — there is room for all types of people in my worldview. The exact thing I don’t like about feminists is the exact thing I don’t like about fundamental religionists — they want all people to share their worldview and they not only have a closed mind, but it is nailed shut. And what is it with the cat hate — does this site defend animal cruelty as well. If you don’t like cats, then don’t have a cat — but there’s nothing wrong with liking cats or puppies or gerbils either for that matter. A spinning hamster — is that code for someone who doesn’t agree with your worldview?

  90. hurting

    an observer October 4, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Observer/Fuzzie,

    My case looks a lot like what observer describes: a perimenopausal (49) woman divorcing while the kids were still of minority age (teens are the best bet for frivorce in that they generate child support payments but don’t actually require any care) so as to generate CS at least for a while. Couple that with alimony for 1/3 of the marriage length and she’s got just enough rope to hang herself (and cripple me financially, too, but I’m just a man.

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