Some of my readers, like me, are happily married women. But did you know that your marriage, which seems like such a fulfilling vocation to you, is actually holding you back? Allow a middle-aged spinster to pity you:
Isn’t it a pity that we can’t grow up first and then get married? Marriage is probably the single thing that holds women back from doing things they can do and being what they can be. It’s beginning to change. The difficult thing is, women have to get out into the battleground if they want to grow, and most normal married women don’t want to experience that battleground. They’re afraid they’ll get out there and find they now live on different planets from their husbands.
–Patricia O’Brien, The Woman Alone, p. 230, Quoted at The Bitter Babe
Yes indeed, all that money your husband earns, those children he gave you, and those regular injections of nature’s little anti-depressant that you get are really just ways that The Man Is Holding You Down. Personally I love it when my man holds me down, but l digress. Anyway, here I am making the pumpkin bread my husband loves and fantasizing about him banging me senseless when instead I could be “get[ing] out into the battleground” with other dried-up middle-aged feminist women? Tough choices these are not. But wait, there’s more!
And finally, if there is one attitude that women alone urgently need to change within themselves, it is their presumption they will marry and stay married. Women should plan from youth as if they might never marry; they should see this not as a bleak fate but as an expansion of possibilities that opens worlds, not closes them. If indeed maturity can be measured by the degree to which one attempts to perceive reality (a definition that appeals to me), then most women who stay deliberately blind to the possible prospects of divorce or widowhood have not yet moved out of their cradles.
–Patricia O’Brien, The Woman Alone, p. 222
Ponder, dear readers, the sad plight of us married ladies compared to our strong-n-independent spinster sisters with their empty cradles, and weep for us. Actually, don’t. Instead, read Song of Songs 2:8-15, which perfectly sums up how many of us really feel about our men:
8 The voice of my beloved!
Behold, he comes,
leaping over the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle
or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away,
11 for behold, the winter is past;
the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away.
14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face,
let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
15 Catch the foxes for us,
the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
for our vineyards are in blossom.”
Sisters, the little foxes that will spoil the vineyard of your marriage are your ingratitude, disrespect, arrogance, disloyalty, and discontentment. Don’t let other women, especially dried-up old crabby-pants spinsters, whisper poison in your ear about women not needing men; you need your husband, and you are incredibly blessed to have him. So, how are you going to show him that this weekend? Make a plan now.
And while you are planning, enjoy some Sunshine Mary-approved weekend reading.
Culture and Politics
If you read nothing else this weekend, read this: Radish Magazine: 3.7 Fair Sex:
Feminism is all about equality and choices — according to feminists, which tells us… nothing. Nothing at all. Feminism, like Marxism and libertarianism (Radish 3.6), is a branch of political progressivism; obviously it’s going to invoke Liberty and Equality. (Even pedophiles are fighting “oppression” these days.) Throw in a little Diversity, and you’ve got the Holy Trinity of the Religion of Humanity (Radish 1.3) [...]
But to the feminist, who as I say is now indistinguishable from the all-purpose progressive, these victories are always on the verge of crumbling under relentless patriarchal assault, and women live in constant fear of mass disenfranchisement, sexual enslavement (not in a good way), and forcible conversion to Roman Catholicism. Accordingly, each election season, courageous Democrats unearth the latest Republican plot: to ban abortion, except for gay or black babies; to legalize rape if she’s wearing lipstick; to marry teenage girls to old men, and chop off their heads if they stay out past eleven — oh wait, Republicans oppose Islamic law, which is another point against them (the racists). Anyway, past performance notwithstanding, their dastardly scheme is sure to succeed this time — that is, unless all you liberated, empowered, thirty-year-old childless white women get out and rock the vote in exactly the same way. Which of course you do, because feminism is so important, because it lets you think for yourself. (“Texas only gives you five months to flush your baby! And the clinic has to be clean! Vote for Wendy Davis and her pink running shoes!” So brave.)
Liberals talk about “white America’s shameful history of…” Conservatives sometimes reply that liberals have a problem with “guilt”. This is one case where I think liberals are using words more correctly. In common usage, guilt is something you feel about what you did, and shame is something you feel about what you are.
In Barilla, Golden Dawn—A Busy Time For Southern Europe’s Thought Police, John Derbyshire relates the story of the president of Barilla pasta in Italy saying that their ads would feature only traditional mother/father type families, and not homosexual couples:
He quickly learned that in the Western world of today there is only one permitted way to think. The homosexualist lobbies and their Leftist allies went into a feeding frenzy, launching boycotts via the Twitter hashtag #biocottabarilla and venting their outrage on talking-head TV shows.
…pasta aisles were vandalized in grocery stores in Bologna, “considered the most gay-friendly city in Italy.” [...] The president of a homosexualist group opined that Mr. Barilla’s view “that if you don’t agree, you can just eat another type of pasta” was “a dangerous message.” A Leftist parliamentarian was less alarmist, saying only that “we need to educate the public who agree with Barilla’s sentiment.” [...]
As with the Paula Deen business a few weeks ago, I longed for the heretic to spit in the faces of his accusers, to take a stand on the right to mild, traditionalist, tolerant opinions, with “tolerant” not a synonym for “approving.” I longed for a worldwide, or at least Italy-wide, burst of laughter to greet the assertion that being left free to pick one’s own brand of pasta is “dangerous.” I longed to read that the Italian public had risen up in indignation at the notion that they need to be “educated” out of their preference for customary family life.
Relationships and Sex
Han Solo’s post Girl Game is so Simple and Yet so Hard at Just Four Guys is a goldmine for the ladies:
Most of the dating advice out there for women misses the point or is a watered-down mixture of a few truths fouled by politically-correct toxic bromides, that are either irrelevant or downright damaging. Women who want the lowdown on what works with men need to get it straight from the
horse’sstallion’s mouth–a blunt, honest and well-informed stallion, mind you, not from some Grima-Worm-Tongue white-knight mangina hack–and not from jealous or sympathetic mares that will either sabotage a seeking sister or drown out the medicine with sugary platitudes.
Girl game for long-term relationships comes down to three factors:
- Up your value
- Align the price you’re demanding (aka the value of the man) with your own value
- Promote and market yourself
OK, gentlemen, you probably want to skip the next one. Ladies, if you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ve probably heard me talk about being a little worried about menopause, which I haven’t hit yet, but I know it’s coming within a few years. I haven’t said much other than I’m anxious about it, but TempestTcup at Girls Being Girls has written up a really helpful post, Let’s Talk About Menopause, and I’m praying that my experience will mirror hers. She writes:
I keep reading horror stories about pain and dryness during sex, but I haven’t had that. Instead, I have gotten much hornier. Much. The only thing that I have noticed is that there is a loss of sensitivity, but then I was always overly sensitive before all of this [...]
There is a loss of sensitivity in pretty much every aspect of sex with me now, but my husband has really upped his dominance since I’ve become more submissive, so it hasn’t been a problem. I wonder if this loss of sensitivity is why some women lose interest in sex. All I know is, with my increased desire (maybe caused by my husband’s increased dominance?), the discussion going around about “never say no” doesn’t apply to me. I’m always ready to go.
See, what I haven’t previously admitted is that what keeps me up at night is this worry, “What if I don’t want it anymore after I go through menopause? What if I have to start practicing all that stuff I preach to women on my blog about saying yes to sex even if you don’t particularly feel like it? I don’t want to have duty sex!” Anyway, Tempest gives some good information about diet and supplements, so if you’re a forty-something lady, check it out.
Finally, the girls and I went apple-picking at our favorite orchard, Wasem’s, several weeks ago, and I’ve been on an apple-dessert making spree. Here is the recipe for an apple cake I made yesterday; I meant to get a picture of it looking all lovely and fresh from the pan, but as you can see, my family got to the cake before I did:
- 8 medium-small apples
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 4-5 tablespoons sugar
- 2 3/4 cups flour
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
- 1 cup vegetable oil
- 2 cups sugar
- 1/4 cup apple cider or apple juice
- 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
- 4 eggs
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a tube pan. Peel, core and chop apples into chunks. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar and set aside.
Sift together flour, baking powder, nutmeg and salt in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together oil, cider or juice, sugar and vanilla. Mix wet ingredients into the dry ones, then add eggs, one at a time, beating after each one.
Pour half of batter into tube pan. Spread half of apples over it. Pour the remaining batter over the apples and arrange the remaining apples on top. Bake for about 1 1/2 hours. Cool for several hours, then run a knife between cake and pan, and unmold onto a cake plate.
Have a blessed weekend, dear readers!