Stuff feminists say: Our plan to use casual sex to destroy the Patriarchy is going exactly according to plan!

As you have undoubtedly already heard, dear reader, there have been several studies recently showing that women are significantly less likely to reach orgasm during casual hook-up sex than they are from sex within the context of an ongoing relationship:

Research involving 600 college students led by Justin R. Garcia, an evolutionary biologist at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and researchers at Binghamton University found that women were twice as likely to reach orgasm from intercourse or oral sex in serious relationships as in hookups. The paper was presented at the annual meeting of the International Academy of Sex Research and at the Annual Convention for Psychological Science this year.

Similarly, a study of 24,000 students at 21 colleges over five years found that about 40 percent of women had an orgasm during their last hookup involving intercourse, while 80 percent of men did. The research was led by Paula England, a sociologist at New York University who studies the dynamics of casual sex.

By contrast, roughly three quarters of women in the survey said they had an orgasm the last time they had sex in a committed relationship.

Why is this so?

Because sexism and The Patriarchy™ of course!

Feminists are sick of The Patriarchy™ and they intend to do something about it.  You may be wondering, What do they intend to do about it, Sunshine Mary? I’m glad you asked.  The assault upon The Patriarchy™ will be multi-pronged, but so far as I can tell, one of the main weapons in the feminist arsenal will be this:

Women will f-ck men into submission.

What, you don’t think that’s a great plan?  Why, what could possibly go wrong?

Anyway, feminists have been rushing about since the latest hook-up-sex-kinda-sux-for-women study came out, publishing oodles of posts and articles about why all this bad casual sex is actually no problem at all; the feminist fight to destroy The Patriarchy™ is right on schedule and going according to plan.  Just we need to deal with this little orgasm problem is all.  And here’s what we need to do, according to feminists:

1. We need less slut-shaming.

“The notion of sexual liberation, where men and women both had equal access to casual sex, assumed a comparable likelihood of that sex being pleasurable,” said Kim Wallen, a professor of neuroendocrinology at Emory University who studies female desire. “But that part of the playing field isn’t level.”

The lack of guidance is common, Dr. England said. “Women are not feeling very free in these casual contexts to say what they want and need,” she said. Part of the problem, she added, is that women still may be stigmatized for having casual sex.

You know this sort of begs the question: if fear of stigmatization prevents a woman from climaxing, why is it not preventing her from getting naked on her hands and knees with some guy she met three hours ago?

2. We need more graphic how-to classes in school:

Ms. Martini said she was never taught how to have good sex, let alone how to ask for what she needs. The education she received in school was aimed at stopping teenagers from having sex at all; there wasn’t much discussion of arousal. Ms. Martini said most cultural representations of sex left out the messy details.

Ms. Martini (lol) says: Moar tax-payer money for sex-positive feminist health classes aimed at other people’s children!

It’s so odd, dear reader, but a-way back in the mid-eighties when I was in high school, we were never taught at school how to have sex, much less how to enjoy having sex.  Yet I find somehow that I am not having any problem with that as a married woman.  Are you having trouble with that?  If so, feminists say you should probably blame your high school health class teacher for not explaining the “messy details” of female sexual arousal to you.

3. We women need to get our own selves off during casual sex!  Why should women expect men to do that for us while we are having casual sex with them?  That’s just the Patriarchy talking, no doubt:

And I don’t mean to make it the woman’s onus, but when a woman leaves a hook-up without having climaxed, it’s partially the guy’s fault and partially her own fault, too. Orgasms aren’t something that need be handed to us on silver platters from guys we pick up at bars. We all know how to get ourselves off. 

Of course, this makes no sense – why would a girl hook up if she just has to end up masturbating anyway? – but feminists say it, so it must be true.

4. We need to be strategic lesbians.  I’m not making this up, feminists really say that:

Or we could all go a completely different route altogether. In the past, when I craved a satisfying sexual encounter, I’ve gone home with a woman…Women are naturally skilled at pleasing other women because we know what we’re working with, duh. And women are generally more patient and attentive in bed.

5. Plus, it’s all men’s fault!  They’re not even trying:

…sex is framed around the man’s equipment is also part of the problem. However long it takes for a guy to do the deed is one thing, but if we know women are more complicated, why isn’t sex organized around this idea? Why aren’t guys doing everything in their power to cater to this, since we all know he’s getting his one way or another?

The funny thing about that is that men say they’re happy enough to spend the time satisfying a woman if they are in a relationship with her:

Indeed, young men surveyed in Dr. England’s study often admitted that they are less focused on sexually pleasing a woman they are seeing casually than one they are dating.

Duvan Giraldo, 26, a software technician in Elmhurst, Queens, said that satisfying a partner “is always my mission,” but added, “I’m not going to try as hard as when I’m with someone I really care about.” 

Now personally, I would draw the conclusion that married sex is better than hook-up sex for women, but feminists assure me that this is not the case.

6. We just shouldn’t even bother with getting off.  Because that’s so tiring, and feminists are busy, busy people:

It may not be worth all the effort and education when the payoff is one orgasm and not a relationship or multiple orgasms from multiple hookups. By the time we’re done explaining everything, we may be too tired to actually want to have sex.

7. Anyway, we women probably don’t even want orgasms!  None of the cool kids are having them, you know.  Well, at least not the female cool kids:

“Something we don’t talk about is why having an orgasm is the main goal or the only goal” of sex, Dr. Herbenick said. “Who are we to say women should be having orgasms?”

My lady readers may be wondering, But why shouldn’t we want orgasms?  Because sex is really all about pleasing the man, feminists explain:

Yet mediocre sex was a small price to pay “for the freedom to be able to enjoy it all.” The physical aspect of a tryst with a relative stranger was gratifying, she said, even if her chances of reaching orgasm were limited. When her partner’s performance was lackluster, she still took pride in her own sexual prowess.

“To sort of know yourself to be sort of skilled in a way or to be able to see someone else’s pleasure that was your own doing, I think there’s definitely something very empowering about that,” she said.

Wait, I am confused.  I get a lot of grief from feminists for using my blog to tell women:

Please your husband.

Pleasing your husband?  That’s sexist!  Because Patriarchy™.  But pleasing some man you barely know?  That’s empowerment, according to feminists.

Feminists say: having lots of casual, uncommitted sex with random men while focusing only on pleasing them and not expecting any sexual gratification in return will show those men who is boss!  Men, if you do not grant us equality at comic book conventions and everywhere else too, I swear to Goddess we will have casual sex with you but we won’t enjoy it at all!

Are you scared yet?

Thought so!

Feminism: always making things worse for women.

Further reading:

110 thoughts on “Stuff feminists say: Our plan to use casual sex to destroy the Patriarchy is going exactly according to plan!

  1. sunshinemary Post author

    You guys aren’t responding right!

    You are supposed to be on your knees begging women, “We’ll do anything you say! Free abortion! Legislation mandating that fifty percent of all CEOs must be women! We’ll kill all the creepy beta males! Anything! Only please don’t have casual sex with us, masturbate in front of us or have sex with other women! We men hate the thought of all that stuff!”

    LOL

    I’m sure the feminist strategy there will work. We just need to give it more time.

  2. sunshinemary Post author

    The only time when I feel like the red pill analogy works for me is when I look at sex-positive feminism. When I look at the hook up culture, I draw COMPLETELY different conclusions than feminists do; we’re looking at the same scenario but seeing two completely different things. They seem to honestly believe that the sexual revolution has emPOWERed women, yet it looks exactly the opposite to me. It seem so clear and obvious that casual sex is awful for women on so many levels. Yet third-wave feminists are absolutely committed to the idea that it’s good for women. No lo comprendo.

  3. FuzzieWuzzie

    I am so confused after reading this post. Those feminists are just plain wacky.
    It should be obvious that sex in relationships is likely to be better for two simple reasons, one, you’re going to see each other again and, two, you’re past the orientation.
    One has to wonder if point #4 is a strong factor in promoting this silliness.

  4. donalgraeme

    Madness.

    But this should be unsurprising. Women have not near so much difficulty as men at holding multiple, contrary points of view. I’m sure Rollo has a post or two explaining why. Maybe the War Brides one does, maybe another one. But whatever its source, the utter incoherence is breathtaking when you step back and view the totality of it all.

  5. Emma the Emo

    Actually, as silly as this looks, I know what they mean. I don’t technically have to have an orgasm every time I have sex with the man I love (same man btw). I can, and it’s nice, but for a lot of women, it’s not the point. I think the interaction with the man is what gets women off. It’s exciting (or comforting), and it validates the woman’s sexual self esteem. You can do all these things with the same man of course (and it will be safer).

    [ssm: Sure, that's entirely true, not every woman wants to climax every time she has sex. But look at the difference in the likelihood that she can climax if she wants to: 80% can with a committed partner but only 40% can during a casual hook up. The point of my essay, of course, isn't about whether the woman has an orgasm or not. It is about the fact that feminists are frantically trying to rebuild the mound now that evidence is coming out that casual sex isn't all that fun and empowering after all.]

  6. Wild Man

    Thank you God for making me a man.

    What must it be like to simultaneously despise the very creature you want to bonk you to an orgasm you cannot achieve – and see this as yet more justification for being in charge, all the while unable even to decide what you’re going to wear in the morning?

    I understand now more than ever why ancient Israelite men had a humorous prayer that included thanks to God for not making them women.

  7. FuzzieWuzzie

    Maybe some of this makes a little sense if you consider that their aim would be to break bonding between men and women. Casual sex would reduce men in women’s eyes to faceless utilities. There is a flaw in this approach in that the saw cuts both ways.
    Have they considered that while this diminishes men, it’s worse on women?

    Unrelated, but I heard that phonics is not taught anymore in early grade school. It’s replacement is not as good but, hinders boys more. Could this be an example of how they think?

  8. Amanda

    As I read your post it struck me how, in the interest of breaking free from the Partiarchy, women are actually ending up in the same position, but instead of the submissive role with dignity, it is the degrading role of a slave. I’ll take the former, tyvm.

    [ssm: Exactly!]

  9. freebird

    I really am very sorry your daughters have to grow up and live in a culture like this,their heads are going to be so messed up by peer pressure and there is nothing you can do to stop that.
    Seriously consider going Luddite:
    Technology enables instant hook-ups.

    Something young woman are inclined to do,explore the sexual power and all that.

    BTW, as a non-thug,I will be sure to cross the street when I see a woman coming,so she is not afraid.

    I will also not be intervening in any crimes being committed against anyone.

    Now women are on their own too,just like men have always been…

    May God restore this once great Nation from the deviants,even if it means the loss of a generation.
    (40 years)
    No respector of persons

  10. freebird

    I agree,thank you God for making me a man,and also great thanks for the age related secondary hypogonadism.

    No drive at all!
    Sweet deal.

  11. Farm Boy

    They will drive men into submission by taxing their income higher.

    When that doesn’t work, they will put a “sin tax” on video games.

  12. Martel

    The way “sex-positive” feminism attacks the patriarchy is that the more random sexual encounters a particular woman has, the harder it is for her to bond to one specific man. She will therefore find herself less likely (or even able) to get married, have a family, etc. Hence, the accelerated breakdown of the nuclear family which is the heart of the patriarchy.

    That’s not how they explain it or think of it, of course. Yet the means here do somehow match their ends.

  13. Martel

    I realized after posting my comment that I largely re-worded FuzzieWuzzie’s point.

    But regarding Fuzzie’s phonics point, a similarly warped logic applies to phonics teachings. The ostensible goal of leftism is “equality”. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, so the quickest way to achieve “equality” is to cut down those who have.

    Sometimes, you might even have to cut down the have-nots in the process, as explained in Rush’s parable of The Trees: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rush/thetrees.html

  14. Farm Boy

    Seems like being a feminist is way too complicated.

    Hard, it is not.

    Feel the anger.

    Let it flow through you

  15. Farm Boy

    instead of the submissive role with dignity, it is the degrading role of a slave

    By they are empowered slaves.

    That’s better

  16. Lady Virtue

    SSM said: “When I look at the hook up culture, I draw COMPLETELY different conclusions than feminists do; we’re looking at the same scenario but seeing two completely different things. They seem to honestly believe that the sexual revolution has emPOWERed women, yet it looks exactly the opposite to me. It seem so clear and obvious that casual sex is awful for women on so many levels. Yet third-wave feminists are absolutely committed to the idea that it’s good for women. No lo comprendo.”

    Feminists are blind. It would take the intervention of God in order for them to see this as you do. But that would require shame, humility, and admittance to wrongdoing, all of which are unlikely. Unless God opens their eyes, they cannot and will not see.

    Isaiah 5:20: “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”

  17. Je Suis Prest

    So just to clarify, as a singe woman I should be having lots of sex with random men despite being so busy with establishing myself in a brilliant career that I have neither the time nor the energy to do the work to have an orgasm. If I feel objectified after these encounters, then it clearly has nothing to do with me having treated my body merely as an object to create pleasure, it’s because we just don’t have enough feminism yet. Except that, as discussed, I’m not the one getting pleasure out of the encounter, which despite me knowing this going in, is the fault of the man involved and inadequate sex ed classes. One question, if I engage in strategic lesbianism and don’t enjoy the experience, I clearly can’t blame the woman for not trying hard enough since women never do anything wrong, so do I just blame the man in closest proximity to the encounter? I’m so confused. Obviously I’m just not smart enough to understand this feminism thing.

  18. Anonymous Reader

    Sex pozzies are simply a caricature of men. That is, the sex positive feminist engages in sexual behavior that she believes is “just the way men do it”. Because, of course, men-and-women-are-exactly-the-same-except-women-can-have-babies – a fundamental premise of feminism.

    Women orgasm less often during a hookup? It can’t be that women are different from men (see above), so it must be something else, anything else, and poof we get ludicrous articles such as cited in the OP.

    So what the article tells us, SSM, is obvious to those wearing The Glasses:

    * Humans are not rational, they rationalize (paraphrasing Robert A. Heinlein)
    * Women are human
    * Feminists are women

    Therefore feminists, confronted with a part of reality that does not conform to their social and political beliefs, would much prefer to rationalize some way around the problem than admit that their beliefs are just wrong. This article is as you note another example of “rebuilding the mound”. It is a mishmash of handwaving to try to find some way to explain why women’s sexual response in a semi-random hookup is different than men’s sexual response, but without admitting that men and women are not the same, are not interchangeable, and are more different than feminists ever feared.

    That’s what the article is about.

  19. Opus

    Another cunning plan

    Baldrick: Don’t worry Mr Blackadder I have a CUNNING PLAN to solve your problem.

    Blackadder: Yes let us not forget that you solved the problem of your mother’s low ceiling by cutting off her head.

    Baldrick: But this time it is a really good plan. You become a dashing Highwaymen, pay all your bills and then on top of that everyone will want to sleep with you.

    Blackadder: Baldrick, I could become a common prostitute and pay all my bills and everyone would want to sleep with me but there are some professions which I consider below my dignity.

  20. Evan

    FuzzieWuzzie,
    What you’re thinking of is called “whole language”, and yes, statistics on it’s use show both boys and girls do worse with it than phonics, but boys do worse than girls. This as opposed to phonics, where both boys and girls do better than with whole language, and boys do slightly better than girls. My father learned to read with whole language back when they were experimenting with it, and he’s still averse to reading and reads very slowly when he does. However, I learned to read back in the ’90s, and at the time most schools were teaching phonics as far as I know. A cursory search on whole language showed that its use has been declining in favor of phonics for some time now. You are right though, that feminists did advocate for it, back in the ’80s I think. Why feminists would bother to advocate a particular method for teaching reading is hard to understand, if not for the completely cynical reason that boys do worse than girls with it.

    In regards to the post, since that was all off topic, don’t the 6th and 7th points invalidate every other point, really the whole point of the study?
    “It’s unfair and patriarchy and misogyny that women aren’t having as many orgasms as men! but then orgasms do sound kinda hard, and maybe I don’t even want one anyways…”

  21. tj

    I’m okay with being destroyed and am willing to sacrifice myself for the good of all…..(if you know what I mean and I think you do)

  22. Cautiously Pessimistic

    … not every woman wants to climax every time she has sex.

    An observation that sounds utterly insane to a man, but has the advantage of being supported by the evidence.

    But men and women are the same, yo.

    [ssm: Does it sound crazy to men? It's true, though. Sometimes women just enjoy the intimacy of sex but don't really care about reaching orgasm. I have known a few women over the years who have told me they never climax with their husbands/partners but they still enjoy sex. Wouldn't be my preference, but apparently it works for some women.]

  23. Martel

    I think their de-prioritization of orgams is a bit of a “Fox & the Grapes” type thing. They can’t have them, so they must not be worthwhile.

    I suppose they could also theoretically think something like “I can’t orgasm, maybe I’m doing something wrong”, but that would require some sort of introspection.

    [ssm: Right - it's like they're saying it's all men's fault while simultaneously claiming they don't want to come anyway. It's nonsensical.]

  24. FuzzieWuzzie

    “Feminism: always making things worse for women.”
    When a statement like that can be made in bold faced type in conclusion with cooberating evidece, the Rubicon has been crossed. Feminism was supposed to help women. That is central to its popularity. Once found to be a detriment, it will be discarded.
    Hard to believe that they’re proposing more of the same, in light of the fact that its not working.
    At this point, Werner vonBraun would be going “back to ze drawing board”.

  25. Just Saying

    “They seem to honestly believe that the sexual revolution has emPOWERed women,”

    That is why I thank them. I had nothing to do with the present set up that benefits me so much. I just take advantage of it to it’s fullest. There is an unending supply of willing young women because Feminism has convinced them that they are “empowered” by being my sex toys. Life is good. I find it amusing – and here I will point it out, but in real life, I just play by the rules that are convenient to me – and smile. And I don’t want any of these women for more than a few months – although one has hung around for almost 3 years – she’s only 21 so she still has another 4 years as long as she keeps me happy – and who knows maybe she will beat the trend. She understands that by bringing other, younger women to my bed for us to enjoy, I’ll never get rid of her since she benefits me too much. (I guess it works for her.) I never throw away a good thing – and she is a good-thing. But I am very much in control (or like to think that I am) but hey, if any woman wants to f**k me into submission – I’m all for it. (As long as she brings me a sandwich so I can recover my strength.) But lately it has seemed like the women I see regularly, are MUCH more compliant and less demanding – so they must be getting something out of it.

    “Just we need to deal with this little orgasm problem is all.”

    Hmmm… Maybe that is why they come back – I’ve never had a woman that I let go home without being exhausted from multiple orgasms. I’ve had some pull away saying, “No more” and one told me I looked like I was like a panther ready to pounce on her. If they aren’t getting off with the guys their age – that would explain why so many young women come to me since they are getting something they literally don’t get anywhere else. I enjoy it because I found it is a great way of ensuring that a woman will come back, and come when I call. So I guess that is their reward – and I thought it was my stellar personality – and here I learn it’s because I’m a “cunning linguist”. (Sorry, I couldn’t pass that one up…)

    you should probably blame your high school health class teacher

    When I was in middle and high-school, I was having sex with women in their 40’s – they were my “sex teachers” and they taught me very well. More than a few thought they couldn’t have kids – that jumped up and slapped a couple in the face. Fortunately, they were married and hubby thought it was his… (Maybe it was – no DNA tests back then.) But there have been studies showing a woman that orgasms has a much higher chance of getting pregnant as a result – maybe that was why so many who thought, “I can’t get pregnant” – did… Much to my chagrin – although a pregnant women is a horny woman… For a while anyway…

    And men complain about Feminism! What are they smoking? It’s the best thing that ever happened to men.

  26. Je Suis Prest

    @ SSM

    [ssm: Does it sound crazy to men? It's true, though. Sometimes women just enjoy the intimacy of sex but don't really care about reaching orgasm. I have known a few women over the years who have told me they never climax with their husbands/partners but they still enjoy sex. Wouldn't be my preference, but apparently it works for some women.]

    I could very much see this being the case with a married woman, but why would anyone want that with a one night stand? I can understand wanting intimacy, but wouldn’t trying to create that with a stranger just emphasize how truly lonely and alone you really are?

    [ssm: Interestingly, studies consistently show that married religious women have sex more often, are happier with their sex lives, and reach orgasm more frequently than women in the general population. For example:

    http://blog.getrelationshiphelp.com/2009/07/christian-women-have-more-sexual-fun.html

    The takeaway message for women is clear: in general, married sex is much better and more enjoyable for us than casual hook ups are.]

  27. sunshinemary Post author

    There were a lot of articles that I read about this issue which said we need to “educate” men to make a woman’s orgasm more of a priority during casual hook up sex, but one wonders how such an aim might be achieved. How do you socialize men to care about something they don’t care about? Poster campaigns? lol

    Possible poster slogan:

    Don’t leave her hangin’, bro!

    #thingsthataretotallynoteffective

  28. Martel

    @ SSM: “The takeaway message for women is clear: in general, married sex is much better and more enjoyable for us than casual hook ups are.”

    Correct, but notice how the typical wife in movies and TV is bored by her husband compared with all the FUN! they had on Sex in the City.

    The left selects the “facts” it will notice according to what fits its conclusions, and there’s a HUGE ego-investment among feminists who’ve bought into this stuff. If despite the filters they even manage to encounter that study, they’re going to assume that study was funded by Christ-fascists or something. They’ll never forget about their divorced older sister who’s husband was an awful lay, but they’ll never even notice their still-married older cousin who can’t get enough of her husband.

    You bring up facts here, which is beyond important. We should be fighting on the battlefield of fact, morality, and reason, but instead we’re arguing over “cool”, determining which sheep that wanders off will inspire the herd to follow, and all sorts of other nonsense.

    That’s how it is. Unfortunately, facts won’t be enough.

  29. Rollo Tomassi

    As a former connoisseur, and current aficionado, of all thing slut (a slut sommelier if you will), I can tell you that in my libertine 20’s the less I seemed to care about the sexual pleasures of my pet-of-the-evening the easier a time I had in scheduling a repeat performance at a future date.

    It was only when I started becoming preoccupied about making her pleasure my priority (rather than it being an endeavor she pursued me for) that I found my little gems lost interest in repeat performances (no challenge) and / or the follow up performances we progressively less intensive as my Alpha mojo became superseded by measuring myself by her qualifications of ‘pleasure’

    I’m sure Rollo has a post or two explaining why.

    Donalgraeme you know me too well:

    http://therationalmale.com/2012/10/15/sex-debt/

    That whole post is well worth the read but,..

    I’d have guys (serving the feminine imperative) tell me “you gotta fuck her right or you’ll lose her” in my single-man-sex-life, but then, I often didn’t care whether I lost them thanks to my nascent plate spinning of that time. In fact, the only time it ever was a concern was when I became invested enough in one woman to actually be concerned with her pleasure, and even then it was because her pleasure enhanced the sex act for me, not due to some threat of infidelity if she didn’t get off. The girl’s genuine desire for me was present whether or not she got off – sometimes I’d make a point of making that happen, but most times it was simply a byproduct of her own desire. In either respect I didn’t view it as my responsibility, and I found that women still enjoyed coming back for sex with some regularity.

    Did you slow down and read that part? Women’s orgasm should be a byproduct of genuine organic desire.

    Naturally this is the socialized narrative women follow themselves – a bad lover gets a fake orgasm, nyah, nyah, try better next time – but when you look under the hood, why would a woman be bothered to fake an orgasm with a bad lover? You might argue that it’s to end the act, and you’d be right, but a faked orgasm is really an indictment of the Beta mindset, because he’s not worth the courtesy of faking one.

    In the end hypergamy doesn’t even care if the woman is sexually satisfied or not – that’s up to her – all that matters is optimizing the best mating that her attractiveness can afford.

    Women don’t fake orgasms for betas, only the Alpha she perceives worthy of pairing with.

    http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/08/25/stop-worrying-about-giving-women-orgasms/

  30. nightskyradio

    we women probably don’t even want orgasms! None of the cool kids are having them, you know. Well, at least not the female cool kids

    Wouldn’t the sex-pozzies want the orgasm above all else during random hookups? They aren’t submitting to a husband (or even a guy they really like), they aren’t getting the intimacy, so isn’t the big bang the only thing left?

    I keep imaging a feminist, Marcotte-esque version of Three Dog Night…
    Amanda told me not to come
    Amanda told me not to come
    That ain’t the way to have fun…

    The assault upon The Patriarchy™ will be multi-pronged

    Heh.

  31. Cail Corishev

    Their goal is to destroy marriage and the hierarchical relationship between men and women (what’s left of it). It doesn’t matter to them how they do it, or whether their various strategies contradict each other or even make sense, as long as the target is destroyed. It doesn’t even matter whether men have a great time in the process, because men aren’t the actual target, marriage and male headship are.

    So turning women (and men) into sluts will do it, but turning them into lesbians or man-hating spinsters works too. Make them obsessed about orgasms or uninterested in them; either works fine. Give men constant nookie from various women or throw them in jail for looking at a woman funny; either way they won’t be husbands. All multiple paths to the same goal.

  32. nightskyradio

    SSM – No lo comprendo

    This should be the response to any and every question like Fuzzie’s query above – “Have they considered…” should always be followed by “The defendant has entered a plea of Nolo Comprende.

    [ssm: LOL...and google translate informs me that I have forgotten all my college Spanish. Rather than No lo comprendo, the correct form is No lo entiendo.]

  33. bike bubba

    What strikes me is how many MEN don’t “get there”. Pardon the pun, but apparently there are a lot of guys, um, leaving themselves hanging in this matter, and apparently casual sex sucks far more than I ever guessed.

    It would be interesting to see a study on antidepressant use rates among teh singles bar and living in sin crowds vs. the married. I’m guessing the result.

    [ssm: I noticed that, too; one out of five men doesn't orgasm during hook up sex and three out of five women don't. Not to be crass, but if no one is getting there...how do they know when to call it a night? *yucky*]

  34. Farm Boy

    but instead we’re arguing over “cool”

    We had a governor who was really into making our cities “cool”.

    Guess the gender of said governor.

  35. FuzzieWuzzie

    That 20% number for guys is telling. Considering that it takes less stimulus, it’s like one in five guys can’t fly the coop fast enough. Something wrong.

  36. Farm Boy

    This governor also called cash for baby mamas “investments”.

    Seems to me that the only “investments” were made by the baby daddies.

  37. Farm Boy

    Not to be crass, but if no one is getting there…how do they know when to call it a night? *yucky*

    What do you mean, “yucky”? At least the sheets stay clean

  38. Cautiously Pessimistic

    That 20% number for guys is telling.

    Given that they’re casual hookups, I’d hazard a guess that alcohol might play a role.

  39. Farm Boy

    Our plan to use casual sex to destroy the Patriarchy is going exactly according to plan!

    If by “patriarchy”, they mean “civilization”, then the plan is going well.

  40. Miserman

    It is a shame that a man might come to believe that becoming a sex-positive feminist would grant him access to an endless line of sex-positive feminists wanting to prove themselves. How ironic that it is the anti-feminist men that are the ones most likely gain that access.

  41. bike bubba

    Fuzzie; not specifically SSRIs, but well done. And just as I expected, sad to say.

    Farm Boy: Granholm, right? And if you ask me, nothing’s as cool as Detroit’s murder rate! Shame on Snyder for appointing the EM.

    Cautiously: agreed. So if the difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks, then the deed doesn’t get done an hour later when there are only four drinks left in the now-non-participants?

    (what’s the difference between a feminist and a real woman? About seven drinks!)

  42. FuzzieWuzzie

    As the thread is slowing down, I’ll ask the question: how do we fix this?
    Good grief! Do women need to be told that one night stands suck?
    This explains the over-consumption of alcohol in hookup culture.
    I guess anyone looking for long term have selected themselves out of the mating game.

  43. zhai2nan2

    A>[ssm: Right - it's like they're saying it's all men's fault while simultaneously claiming they don't want to come anyway. It's nonsensical.]

    B>Women have not near so much difficulty as men at holding multiple, contrary points of view. … whatever its source, the utter incoherence is breathtaking

    Perhaps the article was not written by one person, but by several writers. None of the writers bothered to criticize the others; all of them assumed that so long as they had faith, the revolution would proceed.

    Revolutionary groups do this kind of thing all the time. They can rationalize it with post-modernism, but it’s not so sophisticated. To achieve this glorious poly-centric narrative, just stop centralizing your narrative.

    Mob psychology is the default setting for post-Alinsky feminism.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saul_Alinsky

  44. bike bubba

    Fuzzie, I’m thinking that the basic approach for the married Christian has to be to enjoy the difference between marriage and “single fornication” as often and as eagerly as possible.

    And then to talk to feminists who have drunk the Kool-Aid and let them suss out the diffferences. It’s got to get through sometime, I think, at least among a “remnant”.

  45. Carlotta

    Sometimes I am afraid to read your blog. Not because of your opinion, but because of what the other side is doing.
    They have become a decomposing corpse gassing out.

    Only the truly deceived are still buying this nonsense.
    We must continue to offer salt and light. Think of the poor children who grew up with ONLY this point of view.

    Sometimes, I have to go off and read some beautiful homemaking blogs for awhile to cleanse the palate. Of course, not too long, back to war.

  46. Carlotta

    Earlier this year, I was walking through Union Square in Manhattan when I heard a voice behind me say, “Excuse me, can you spare five minutes to save a child’s life?” I usually try to avoid charity street solicitors, but when I turned around, I found that this particular charity solicitor happened to look like a 23-year-old River Phoenix, only taller. Somehow, over the next 20 minutes, he convinced me not only to sign up to pay $36 a month to put an Indian child through college—oh, the sorcery of beauty!—but also to hang out with him after his shift. A couple of hours later, we were hooking up on my bathroom floor, him still in his charity worker polo shirt, with his clipboard lying on the floor next to us. I didn’t come, but the spontaneity was really exciting, and he made me laugh, and I got to stare at him naked, which was fun in itself. Plus, the entire experience just makes for a good story.

    The above is from the article regarding women are responsible for their own orgasms, even during sex with a partner.

    I am sorry, I need to say this.
    This women publically admitted that she met a panhandler/scam artist and within eight hours allowed him into her home, provided HIM with an orgasm and then never saw him again. And the good thing about this is that she got to have a laugh and see him naked and it gives her a fun story to share!

    Clearly, there is not enough slut shaming. My children wouldn’t regal people with stories of them sticking their hands in their own diapers and this is even lower then this. You know the ship is going down when the feminists are saying
    They don’t need a relationship
    They don’t need a name
    They don’t need to ever see you again
    And they don’t even need the man to give them an orgasm.

    Just exactly what do you have to imbibe to not only have that be acceptable to you (since it is still disgusting to share a toothbrush with a stranger, I mean it is, right?) that you would not only do this but tell others about it as if it is some kind of accomplishment to be shared?

    The devil doesn’t even have to try anymore.

  47. Farm Boy

    Do women need to be told that one night stands suck?

    Yes, they do. It seems so easy and satisfying. This is short term.

    Then there is the problem of the long term

  48. Farm Boy

    Women have not near so much difficulty as men at holding multiple, contrary points of view

    That is not quite true.

    Guys are much better at compartmentalizing, hence are able to handle contrary points of view better; for what that is worth.
    Think of William Jefferson Clinton during the Monica situation. He could focus on his job at the time, then move on to the next thing. A woman is much more integrated, and probably would have been a wreck.

    But women have a secret weapon to fix this problem — the hamster

  49. imnobody00

    ssm: LOL…and google translate informs me that I have forgotten all my college Spanish. Rather than No lo comprendo, the correct form is No lo entiendo.

    As I native Spanish speaker, I can assure you that “No lo comprendo” y “No lo entiendo” are both completely fine. Both expressions are synonyms: completely equivalent and interchangeable.

  50. Je Suis Prest

    Interestingly, studies consistently show that married religious women have sex more often, are happier with their sex lives, and reach orgasm more frequently than women in the general population

    Funny that, it’s almost like the God who loved us enough to send his Son to die in our stead also loved us enough to give us boundaries to keep us from harm. Or that by forsaking what appears to be fun in the short term in accordance with those rules would allow us to experience something far better than what we gave up; and that’s just in the temporal realm. Or that there might even be consequences for sin. #Whodathunkit

    “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

    Of course, it could also be that I’m so indoctrinated by the Patriarchy that I can’t conceive of all the empowerment I’m missing out on by not sharing my body with someone who doesn’t care for me so that he can probably get off while I probably don’t…

  51. Je Suis Prest

    I didn’t come, but the spontaneity was really exciting, and he made me laugh, and I got to stare at him naked, which was fun in itself. Plus, the entire experience just makes for a good story.

    Am I the only one who read that and thought, “it sounds like she’s trying to convince herself that it was a good thing as much as she’s trying to convince her audience?” Much like the winter camping trip with my brothers where two of the air mattresses were damaged on the hike in, the weather shifted unexpectedly and we had to engage in a battle with the racoons to save our food, when you get to the stage of validating something by saying it makes a good story, you’re pretty much acknowledging that the experience wasn’t a good one.

  52. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy,
    After reading Carlota’s story, I guess women do need to be told one night stands suck.

    Je Suis Prest,
    Thanks for the quote from Jerimiah. Thanks for living as an exampe of virtue.

    Bike Bubba,
    You do have a point of demonstrating that married life can be successful.
    Again, lead by example.

  53. redpillsetmefree

    Madness.

    But this should be unsurprising.
    Women have not near so much difficulty as men at holding multiple, contrary points of view.
    I’m sure Rollo has a post or two explaining why.
    Maybe the War Brides one does, maybe another one.
    But whatever its source,
    the utter incoherence is breathtaking when you step back and view the totality of it all.

    GOLD.

    Thank you God for making me a man.

    What must it be like to simultaneously despise the very creature
    you want to bonk you to an orgasm you cannot achieve –
    and see this as yet more justification for being in charge,
    all the while unable even to decide what you’re going to wear in the morning?

    I understand now more than ever why ancient Israelite men had a humorous prayer
    that included thanks to God for not making them women.

    GOLD.

  54. earl

    I’ll second the “thanking God I am a man”.

    Despite all the feminist women, corrupt legal system, terrible school system, and beta pa government who subconciously love me…yet outwardly hate me because of my gender…I still am glad I am a man. I have a penis and you don’t.

  55. cecilhenry

    The parasites already tax men;s income higher, because they tax larger incomes more.

    For some reason working harder and being more valuable gets you royally screwed. WE don’t forget it.

    I hate this society of parasites and leaches.

  56. donalgraeme

    @ JSP

    Of course, it could also be that I’m so indoctrinated by the Patriarchy that I can’t conceive of all the empowerment I’m missing out on by not sharing my body with someone who doesn’t care for me so that he can probably get off while I probably don’t…

    Its pretty clear that you have been brain-washed by men, otherwise you would never believe in notions that involve your own oppression. You obviously need to cast off this suppression of your free will and embrace you true, independent, empowered self by doing the following:

    1) Cut your hair as short as possible
    2) Get a number of tattoos to reinforce your own unique identity
    3) Eat whatever you want, because fat can be beautiful too
    4) Wear whatever clothes you feel like, which can be as revealing as you want, so long as they aren’t “traditional” woman’s clothes, because those are oppressive
    5) Swear and curse just as much as the men around you, if not more
    6) Drink what you want, when you want, and however much you want
    7) Be as proud and self-confident of yourself as a woman as you can be, because you are special and worthy of being treated as the Goddess you are
    8) Don’t be submissive to a man ever, because that is oppressive and demeans you, instead you should do whatever the State demands of you because it liberates you from male oppression
    9) Have as much sex as you care to, but not with a single man for life but instead random men, because sex with strangers is fun and exciting and awesome, and if it somehow isn’t it was their fault and you still get a good story out of it
    10) If anything ever should go wrong, remember, it is a man’s fault because men are oppressive, unfeeling thugs who are guided by their primitive instincts

  57. tz2026

    The assault upon The Patriarchy™ will be multi-pronged, but so far as I can tell, one of the main weapons in the feminist arsenal will be this:

    Women will f-ck men into submission.

    No further elaboration was necessary. However I was thinking more man-fault divorce and tribute from beta orbiters.

  58. The Karamazov Idea

    I’m in here late. Here are my thoughts on women and orgasms.

    1. Women will always underreport orgasms because an orgasm=sex. If she didn’t climax, it doesn’t count. It’s another little n-count game they can play to fudge their numbers.

    2. Also, during hookups, I don’t imagine a woman would climax if she was administering a hummer.

    I think these two thoughts account for the number of 75% that seems eyebrow-raisingly low for couples-sex orgasms. Some possible factors might mitigate the random hookups such as impotence due to intoxication, getting up to puke up that shot pitcher of fuzzy navels, etc.

    Feminists have, contrary to their stated goals, mystified the female orgasm into some unheard-of, mythical event that never happens unless a woman finds it in a moonlit grove of other sapphic women dancing around the fire as pan-pipes play. It’s not. Women love to lie about orgasms, especially to a new partner. It’s a way of building loyalty, brushing aside past trysts, and repolishing the ol’ N count so it doesn’t look as tired. I know from experience.

    I was poorly behaved in my younger years. There are a couple things that always happen when a woman climaxes, namely an involuntary muscle contraction in an area you should notice. It’s not as stand-out obvious as men, but if you know what to look for, you can get quite adept at telling when it happens. One particular ex girlfriend drunkenly proclaimed to the new boyfriend and the room at a party (it got back to me) that she never climaxed with me. I had a good laugh. The chick who lived next door also found that funny, and even confronted the ex on it. I believe the she used the phrase “howling your lungs out at 10:30.” Then again, those walls were kind of thin.

    Moral of the story? Women love to lie about climaxing. Chances are that woman in When Harry Met Sally was full of it. Feminists are just trying to erect the orgasm (pun fully intended) as another female-only zone.

    [ssm: Are you saying that they lie about having them or not having them? Or both?]

  59. anonymous_ng

    I married my first lover. We were together nearly twenty years before she sought other pastures. I’ve had a handful of casual hookups and the sex was like plain white rice in comparison. Sure, it staves off the hunger, but was otherwise uninspiring and hardly worth the effort.

    [ssm: So you found married sex better? Hmm. It's interesting to hear a man say that. I know it's better for women, but I wasn't sure if men exactly felt the same.]

  60. Legion

    Carlotta November 21, 2013 at 4:38 pm
    “The devil doesn’t even have to try anymore.”

    He was probably throwing up in his own bathroom.

  61. FuzzieWuzzie

    This thread has gotten a little heavy. I don’t think tap dancing teddy bears are going to help.
    Please, someone say something encouraging.

  62. sunshinemary Post author

    Have as much sex as you care to, but not with a single man for life but instead random men, because sex with strangers is fun and exciting and awesome, and if it somehow isn’t it was their fault and you still get a good story out of it

    Plus herpes! Who needs the big O when you can get a story and herpes, too!

  63. The Karamazov Idea

    @SSM

    In my experience, which I’d have to extrapolate applies to many, women often falsely claim they did not achieve orgasm with past partners as a means of delegitimizing the act of sex and therefore rounding down the N count. It’s a cheap way of repackaging virginity for the next “one true love” a woman manages to string along.

  64. Je Suis Prest

    @ FuzzieWuzzie

    I find it encouraging to remember that even when the world seems filled with sin and darkness, there is nowhere beyond God’s reach. From Psalm 139:

    7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
    8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
    9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
    10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
    11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
    12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

    Also, I received an answer to prayer tonight regarding my knee injury. An appointment I’ve been waiting on that I was told couldn’t get until late December I’m actually going to be able to get tomorrow. Yay! (Huge thanks to all those who are praying by the way).

    Finally, I think I’m going to take a pass on Donal’s “advice” from above which since it’s the opposite of discouraging, I’m going to choose to put in the encouraging column =P.

    I hope all of the above brightens your day =).

    [ssm: I've said a little prayer that all will go well at your appointment and that the doctors will have wisdom in how best to treat your injury.]

  65. FuzzieWuzzie

    I”ll out myself here as over the top beta but, what the heck. There’s another point to be made for not sleeping with strangers. I can’t sleep with a stranger. This is serious, primal, core issue. It’s all about trust and being vulnerable. In that sense, it’s a deeper intimacy than sex.
    At least, this is somethig the married ladies can talk about without fear of embarrassment. I’ll bet that they are closer to their husbands than they ever were to their teddy bears.

    About STDs, I read somewhere recently that the incidence in women is higher than in men. Could they be looking for stories to tell?

  66. FuzzieWuzzie

    Je Suis Prest,
    Thank you! i didn’t know about the knee. Good that things are moving up for you.
    I hope that Donal’s advice was tongue in cheek. Didn’t you have a tongue in cheek comment prior to his?

  67. Je Suis Prest

    Thanks you SSM!

    I am quite certain that Donal’s advice was tongue in cheek given what he’s said on his blog (and, yes, he was replying to my tongue in cheek comment).

  68. Bucho

    Wow. I really need to quit reading these articles. Two or so generations into the whole, so-called “sexual liberation movement,” but yet it appears everyone is more frustrated than ever. Are these ladies trying to reach a constant level of sexual arousal that isn’t biologically possible? I don’t think dogs are in heat as often as these chicks come off as.

    Not to come off as a prude, but aren’t we as a society getting a little to carried away with the constant search for a few moments of pleasure?

    It shall be interesting to see how all this plays out. What a mess this next generation is being born into….

  69. donalgraeme

    I am quite certain that Donal’s advice was tongue in cheek given what he’s said on his blog (and, yes, he was replying to my tongue in cheek comment).

    Tongue-in-cheek? Moi?

    Inconceivable!

  70. dannyfrom504

    “5. Plus, it’s all men’s fault! They’re not even trying”

    you know the 1 way to bring a woman to orgams 100% of the time?

    who cares. wokka wokka.

    i’ve said to MANY guys, i really want to her get off; but ultimately ladies, you own your orgasm. if you barely understand how you climax don’t expect me to have a magic wand (see what i did there) that magically sends you to the land of ecstasy.

    x1000 if you’re a hook up.

  71. Jana

    Their advice is truly horrifying and insane (especially that becoming a lesbian thing–was this written by a dyke?).

    If feminists really cared about women,they would suggest to women that they should just find a man they love and get married so they can have amazing sex every night for the rest of their lives, instead of trying to convince women that they can be happy screwing a random man (gross!)

    (This makes me feel so lucky that I am about to marry a guy I adore!)

  72. Just Saying

    “you gotta fuck her right or you’ll lose her”

    BS… You have to enjoy her, and take the time to enjoy her to the fullest. She is there for you – never forget that. Her purpose in life is to bring pleasure to your life, and to add to it. Not the other way around. She may enjoy everything you do, it may blow her mind – but you need to concentrate on YOU. Let her concentrate on keeping you happy – if you EVER make the mistake of thinking that anything you do it for her – you’re doomed.

    Women like to know that they are USEFUL to you and bring you pleasure, the best way to do that is to use her in every way that YOU want to use her.

    Remember she can easily be replaced – never let her forget that. She is there only for as long as she brings you more than others can. That doesn’t mean that she can’t be exhausted after you are done, but you do everything for you. Let her worry about her, and you. Men are easy to keep happy – women will make you crazy if you go down that road – so don’t…

  73. Maeve

    I really have to wonder if Item #4 – strategic lesbianism is not really the end goal of feminism – to convince women that only other women can provide what they truly need.

  74. sunshinemary Post author

    Naturally I can’t endorse all of Just Sayin’s comment, but I do wish to highlight this particular sentence:

    Women like to know that they are USEFUL to you and bring you pleasure

    Yes. A woman who is attracted to a man wants to be useful to him and please him. It is a great kindness if he allows her to do so and directs her in how she can be useful to him and letting her know when she has pleased him.

  75. Just Saying

    ” It is a great kindness if he allows her to do so and directs her in how she can be useful to him”

    That is everything distilled down to what is important. And this goes to the heart of how men and women differ which is why men spend so much time over-thinking things. Women actually WANT and NEED to be able to do this. It is what brings them security in a relationship. They can see, easily, how useful they are, and that allows them to be content in that knowledge. So as a man, you have to give this to her – you have to give her a way to see clearly that she is useful to you, that your life would be poorer without having her in it. If you don’t, let her do this she will look for a man who does. Then you’ll be left wondering why she left, because you did so much for her – from your perspective – but you NEVER gave her WHAT SHE NEEDS – from her perspective. Which is how to be useful TO YOU. So by letting her please you, you are giving her what she needs. Yes – it sounds strange to a man – but men and women are different – thank the gods… And I love women for this.

  76. sunshinemary Post author

    Yes. JS may be a secularist and pick-up artist type, but hear him on this point, people.

    It’s not that we want to feel invaluable to you. We want to know that you’d be okay without us, too, otherwise you come across as overly needy. No woman, for instance, wants to feel that she is her man’s emotional anchor without which he’d come apart. But yes, we want to feel that we please you by being of use to you and enriching your lives.

    Wow, you’ve really, really nailed it here, JS:

    Then you’ll be left wondering why she left, because you did so much for her – from your perspective – but you NEVER gave her WHAT SHE NEEDS – from her perspective. Which is how to be useful TO YOU. So by letting her please you, you are giving her what she needs.

    The things you do FOR us are very nice, but what we need is to serve, not be served. Being served is okay for a woman once in a while, but it doesn’t fulfill that deep longing in us the way that serving the man we love does.

    Ask not what you can do for your woman. Rather ask what your woman can do for you.

    (This is just daily living type advice; on a spiritual level, husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially. But practically, one of the ways you can love us sacrificially is by telling us how to serve you because that is ultimately what makes us feel deeply satisfied. Just like serving God and being useful to Him makes a man feel satisfied, I should think.)

  77. Hipster Racist

    she still took pride in her own sexual prowess.

    To sort of know yourself to be sort of skilled in a way or to be able to see someone else’s pleasure that was your own doing, I think there’s definitely something very empowering about that, she said.

    She should be proud, talking a guy like me into bed. It’s a difficult achievement. And she did a great job too, I certainly got off.

    @Amanda

    instead of the submissive role with dignity, it is the degrading role of a slave.

    Which has greater status, an employee, or a wife? One gets a paycheck. The other one makes people.

  78. Jana

    @ Just Saying

    Us women want to feel needed, but we do not want to feel like we’re disposable and that our man is basically indifferent to us.

  79. Hipster Racist

    When I was in middle and high-school, I was having sex with women in their 40’s – they were my “sex teachers” and they taught me very well.

    When the truth about this sort of thing gets out…

  80. Just Saying

    @SSM “what we need is to serve, not be served.”

    Perfectly said. And you (MEN) have to show, that yes, you do appreciate her efforts just enough, and also that you HEAR what she is saying when she opens up to you.

    Most of the time, I do very little to show that the women I see are important to me, but I do enough to let them know not only that they are important to me, but that I have listened to ALL of things they shared which were *important* to them. I am very good at “HEARING” what is said, even if it’s not in so many words. And since it is so out of character for me to do something (at least what they perceive as my character) – it stuns them, and I reap the rewards for months. Predictability is the death of attraction.

  81. Anonymous Reader

    Regarding O’s, I recall in the 80’s and 90’s a lot of ink was spilled in various magazines to the effect that some percentage of women could not or did not reach climax from standard intercourse. How much of that was just kvetching / fitness testing, and how much of it had to do with variations in anatomy / plumbing I can’t say.

    But, science!
    So perhaps the difficulties in O’s is no one’s fault, it just…happened that way.

  82. Farm Boy

    Here’s a woman being useful,

    I am a sophomore at a prestigious private college. My sister, an alumna of the college, was able to avoid paying rent by living with a very nice family and providing light child care and housework. I was lucky enough to be employed by the same family, making meals and cleaning, but I wasn’t sure how much the family would need me now that their youngest is joining the armed forces. The wife travels a lot on business, and there has been tension between the two, but they recently offered me a very interesting proposition: I could stay on as an emotional and sexual companion for the husband when the wife is away! The man is 20 years my senior, and my first initial response was to say no, but now that the shock has worn off, I’m actually intrigued by the idea. I’ve always been attracted to him, and I’m sure that was clear to them. I know other girls who work at strip clubs, and this is better than having risky sex with college men. It would also be a lot cheaper than paying for a room at college. Is it wrong for me to consider this arrangement?

  83. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy,
    I have been watching a lot of documentaries recently. Up until recently (Victoria?), the extension of this service would be presumed of a live-in female servant.
    From a Christain moral perspective, the answer should be no.
    From my personal moral perspective, as she is making sex transactional, the answer would be no.
    Let’s hope that she moves it down the road and keeps her dignity and chastity.

  84. Coastal Mama

    Sounds like these so called feminists (who don’t sound very feminist at all) are trying to rationalize their very unfeminist behavior, or at least the unfeminist behavior of today’s youth i.e. the hook up generation.

    The only think I might agree with is Dr. Herbenick’s statement if by that she is referring to karezza.

  85. M the Atheist

    Okay so a few things here.

    First, and I was waiting for someone to point this out but no luck, the 80% of women in relationships experiencing orgasms compared to the 20% of women experiencing orgasms may not be because of the intimacy. True, trust and time help to improve sexual fulfillment and experience; all people are slightly different and desire slightly different actions. What this may mean is that the men that are selected for committed relationships are inherently better at sex; thus the reason why they were chosen by those women for commitment, they can give women orgasms more easily and readily.

    Two, 80% of women only find 20% of men either physically attractive or socially/sexually desirable; additionally during the original Kinsey studies 80% of men claimed to have had pre-marital sex while only 20% of women did; this shows that the vast majority of women are not very prone to having casual sex, and additionally a Buss study in the last decade showed that women only have sex 1/3 of the time for their own sexual satisfaction. So women in committed relationships may be very few and thus a screwed statistic.

    Third, there are different kinds of orgasm and very few women have experienced them all. There are the kind all people experience that are mild and akin to self stimulation and maybe induced without any genital stimulation. Then there are clitoral orgasms that are akin to male orgasms, these are increased in intensity when another person induces them, and finally, for women almost exclusively, there are vaginal orgasms brought upon by G-spot stimulation, which requires a lot of effort, sizable equipment, and various psychological factors being met; this is the rarest of orgasms but the most pleasing for women and the one that gets them all twisted and addicted to whomever can give this to them because they cannot give it to themselves.

    So yeah, commitment and trust help but for some women, some men are very stimulating and if a woman never has sex with a man that can give her vaginal orgasms she never knows what she is missing, but they hear about it, search for it and when they find it, it may destroy their lives and desire for any other kind of male contact.

    Fourth, yes, Feminism’s scheme was doomed to give men exactly what they wanted; I reasoned this years ago. The end game is to make women like men, and any man that has had sex with more than a few dozen women more than a few hundred times knows that eventually it is all mostly the same, that as one ages and/or works-out the enjoyment of sex becomes more about things other than a personal orgasm. Any man that has had his fill learns there is more to life than orgasms; the feminist goal is to allow women to discover this themselves, but only after hey have it all, then one day women wake up and discover that there is more to life than orgasms.

    Most women start life at this point, put it is the circular nature of life that gives life its poetry and irony … almost as if there is a God.

  86. Coastal Mama

    “What this may mean is that the men that are selected for committed relationships are inherently better at sex; thus the reason why they were chosen by those women for commitment, they can give women orgasms more easily and readily. ”

    Interesting point.

    “So yeah, commitment and trust help but for some women, some men are very stimulating and if a woman never has sex with a man that can give her vaginal orgasms she never knows what she is missing, but they hear about it, search for it and when they find it, it may destroy their lives and desire for any other kind of male contact. ”

    Wow.

    ” there are vaginal orgasms brought upon by G-spot stimulation, which requires a lot of effort, sizable equipment, and various psychological factors being met; this is the rarest of orgasms but the most pleasing for women and the one that gets them all twisted and addicted to whomever can give this to them because they cannot give it to themselves. ”

    I’m sure there must be dildos/vibrators specifically designed to hit the spot. And I’m sure there must be women out there who have discovered it with their own fingers.

  87. Aaron the Just

    Farm Boy,

    It sounds like this dear young lady is discovering the blessing of plural marriage–of course, she’ll be one of the lesser wives and live under the thumb of first wife.

    Dismantling the patriarchy really is going to send us straight back to the polygamous dark ages.

  88. Farm Boy

    she’ll be one of the lesser wives and live under the thumb of first wife.

    Will she be happy?

    That is the only thing that matters.

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