Feminists: maladjusted killjoys at the holidays.

A gift suggestion for your feminist killjoy kin.

Do you know whom you may wish to leave off your guest list for your upcoming holiday gathering?  Feminists, that’s who.

But if blood be thicker than water, and I believe it is, you will possibly have to invite a few of your maladjusted killjoy feminist relatives over for eggnog in the coming month.  What should I expect from my maladjusted killjoy feminist relatives, Sunshine Mary, you may be wondering.  Nothing good, I’m afraid, dear reader.

As our primary source for our view into the inner workings of the feminist mind during the holidays, we shall be using The Feministing Guide to Surviving the Holidays, written by Feministing editor Alexandra Brodsky.

Your maladjusted feminist killjoy relative is probably:

1. Depressed:

The holidays are a glorious time of shiny baubles and delicious food and sepia memories — unless, of course, your life is even a tiny bit complicated, in which case there’s a 97% chance that the mere idea of the next month of celebrations makes you want never, ever to get out of bed

(Note: Internet advice is great, but sometimes it isn’t enough. If you need immediate help, I urge you to call into a hotline rather than turn to my WordPress-constructed guide.)

My goodness, when I give out holiday advice, it usually has to do with pie crust recipes; when feminists do it, it involves suicide hotline numbers.  What can we conclude from this, boys and girls?

2. Lonely and socially-rejected:

If you don’t have a place to go for the holidays…but are up for throwing yourself a party, here are some fun, cheap(er) recipes and a list of immediately available holiday movies.

No one invites feminists over.  I wonder why?  Oh well, in lieu of an invitation, perhaps send your maladjusted killjoy feminist relative a fruit basket and a case of catfood.

3. Worse than your cousin with Asperger’s Syndrome at determining what would be an appropriate topic of conversation:

If you’ve got plans and are worried about dinner table political debates…

and you couldn’t be paid to utter the words “health care” around your family, Jill Filipovic has some suggestions for dodging heated conversations.

and you want to finally convince your bigoted cousin that he’s wrong, then may the force be with you! Sometimes you’ve got to stand up for your beliefs and embrace the awkwardness. If the conflict falls along traditional party lines, check out the Dem’s guide to arguing with your Republican uncle. RH Reality Check published a great Planned Parenthood break-down of how to talk about repro justice over turkey (or tofurkey), including some sample answers to common questions.

You can also use your family’s own traditions against them by pointing out the feminist messages within their cherished holiday stories.

For a family insensitive — or downright hostile — to indigenous rights and history, bring along one of these children’s books. Pass it off to a relative to read to a little niece or nephew and educate two generations at once. You can also use a video to start a conversation, on your own terms, about the bloody history of colonialism and genocide erased by the cheery Thanksgiving story.

Mmm.  Awkward conversations about abortion, sorry, I mean repro justice?  Creepy books aimed at indoctrinating children into liberal ideology?  Feminist messages in the Christmas story about the birth of Our Lord?  Were blood not thicker than water, would anyone ever invite a feminist over for the holidays again?  I think not!

4. Likely to complain about being asked to help with the dishes:

If your family’s gendered expectations of kitchen duties make your blood boil…

stand up for yourself. Help out preparing the meal or cleaning up because it’s the nice thing for anyone of any gender to do, but, as this feminist Thanksgiving guide insists, tell your uncle to get off his butt and help, too.

Nevermind that the menfolk probably earned the majority of the money that paid for the celebration; get those man-bitches into the kitchen, pronto!  The Revolution depends upon it, saith the maladjusted feminist killjoy relative with the boiling blood.

5. On the verge of having a nervous breakdown:

If you’re anxious about travel…

… you have options. Check out this guide if you’re traveling while trans. If you need special accommodations, check out these tips on air travel and other forms of transportation. xoJane has a good list of coping mechanisms for travel anxiety, and you can of course always call into a hotline to talk you through your anxiety. Me? I like to make lists of what I’m worried about, think over each item, and then cross them out.

Feminists do seem to need their hotlines at the holidays, don’t they?  It’s almost like there is something inherent in being a feminist that makes one mentally and emotionally unstable.

6. An anorexic, bulimic, or compulsive over-eater:

If you’re struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder…

She blah blah blahs about that a bit, but I say that your anorexic maladjusted killjoy feminist relative might just be the one you really want to invite, since apparently men are lining up to date such chicks, and she might be made into a well-adjusted, joyful, traditional wife someday after all.

7. Possibly homeless:

If you’re looking for food or shelter this season…services are available. Options vary by location, but religious centers are always a good place to check and the National Coalition for the Homeless can point you toward local resources.

If she’s not one of those UMC (upper middle class) white feminists, she’s likely to be poor and possibly dragging some “choice children” with her (thanks, feminism, for making poor women’s lives worse by destroying marriage among the lower classes!).  Be prepared, maybe with some McDonald’s gift certificates or leftover cardboard boxes or something.

 8. Likely to turn down your invitation anyway:

If you don’t feel safe at the celebration…you don’t have to go… Lori’s colleagues passed around a guide to the holidays that encouraged everyone to make the decision to spend holidays with their family of choice, rather than going home, if they know it won’t be good for them.

Yes, perhaps it would be best for all parties concerned if feminists just spent the holidays together and left us normal folks in peace.

9. But if your maladjusted feminist killjoy relative does come, remember that it’s got to be all about her:

but you’ve decided to anyway, make sure to practice self-care. The holidays are hard, really, for more reasons than we could possibly address. Our library is far from comprehensive, but here are some of our favorite resources (and please suggest more in the comments):

She goes on to list a bunch of feminist resources on how to be awkward, inappropriate and self-centered, making sure to ruin the event for everyone in an attempt to ensure that everyone else is just as miserable as feminists are.

I find in reading her resources, dear readers, that I cannot escape the conclusion that feminism makes women mentally and emotionally unstable and that feminists feel compelled to spread their misery to everyone around them like a virulent ‘flu virus.  Since you must invite such unhappy creatures into your home at the holidays, at least do those poor, lost, maladjusted, joyless souls a favor by pointing them toward my blog (or one of the other anti-feminist sites in my blogroll); you may just bring a feminist around to her senses.  And if that isn’t a thought worthy of joyful celebration, I don’t know what is.

Feminists: always trying to make the holidays miserable for everyone.

 

158 thoughts on “Feminists: maladjusted killjoys at the holidays.

  1. Winter

    Wow. They just have to try and suck the joy out of everything, don’t they? Doesn’t seem very “feminist” to assume that all women are anxiety-ridden socially awkward eating-disordered emotional cripples who like to start heated arguments at family get-togethers. Or is that what passes for feminism these days?

  2. FuzzieWuzzie

    The holidays are a downer for all single people, not just feminists. At this time, we’re all reminded what failures we are in finding love. As for feminists, they have kind of dug a hole for themselves here but, they’re still human beings. At least, they have resources, like hotlines, to call upon. Bachelors have to suck it up.
    It is a serious concern. Last Christmas night, A Voice for Men was the only site active. In one of the threads, a despondent ex-husband who hadn’t seen his kids in six years, was making worrisome noises. Paul Elam invited him to email directly, probably with the intention of escalating to the phone. Kudos to him for, one, being there and, two, being willing to counsel. BTW, this was his job for twenty years.
    Once again, the holidays are hard on single people. If Frances Feminist is causing grief, tell her to give a rest and see for herself what family life is like. She might begin to wonder how to get there from here.

    ssm: Yes, Fuzzie, it is worth considering why families in our modern day are so fractured. There are more and more people who have not married and begun families of their own, yet this modernist ideal of “family of your choosing” never seems to materialize. Groups of singles don’t seem inclined to form their own non-kin “family” units, not at the holidays nor at any other time.

    I believe this is so because humans naturally want to be part of a kin-based unit, or family, especially during important events such as holidays or personal celebrations. It is a lie of the modern, feministic day that we don’t.

    It is important for those of us who are in family units to remember to extend compassion to acquaintances and distant relatives who may not have anywhere else to go. My MIL has impressed me over the years with her willingness to do that; at virtually every Thanksgiving I’ve attended in her home, there will be at least one or two (sometimes more) guests who are single or divorced or separated from their families for some reason. There were two such guests there yesterday. My MIL has set a good example for me to follow in the future by following the words of Jesus in Luke 14:

    12 He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. 13 But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”

  3. Farm Boy

    Doesn’t seem very “feminist” to assume that all women are anxiety-ridden socially awkward eating-disordered emotional cripples who like to start heated arguments at family get-togethers

    They are introspective, but not introspective enough.

  4. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy, Introspective?!
    After my last comment, I wonder if SSM is trying to figure out how to set me up with this one as a dinner companion or, better yet, a blind date.
    WARNING really bad language

    [ssm: LOL, my dear Fuzzie! I would never set you up with a feminist! A fate worse than death...]

  5. Lyn87

    If you don’t feel safe at the celebration…you don’t have to go

    What is it with feminists and the word safe?

    I’ve noticed that they tend to throw that word around a lot when it has absolutely no bearing on whatever subject is at hand – as if anything that a typical feminist does, or any place she goes, is actually unsafe. It would be hard to imagine any situation that is safer than being an Upper Middle Class White woman (the core constituency of people who read things with titles like “The Feministing Guide to Surviving the Holidays”) at the home of her own relatives who were thoughtful enough to invite her over for some turkey and stuffing at their own expense.

    Since feminists almost never use the word safe in the context of actual safety, what on Earth could they mean by it? They mean, of course, someplace where their feelings might get hurt or they might encounter a different opinion or, even worse, inconvenient facts. That is what passes for “danger” in feminist circles – people might realize that their default setting is “Damsels in Distress,” and bitchy, clueless damsels at that.

    Empowered? Strong? Sassy? Feminists claim all that, while demanding that they be treated like spoiled children perpetually seconds away from a melt-down over anything or nothing. You can’t make this stuff up.

    And they want women in COMBAT?!?! These strong, independent gals can’t even make it through the appetizer course without cracking!

    Any situation where one of the little dearies might be challenged is “not safe.” As if her Tea-Party brother-in-law is just waiting for her to glance away for a moment so he can impale her freakishly prominent Adam’s Apple with a fireplace poker.

    Since feminism has taught women that a turkey dinner among people who are far more pleasant that they are is actually unsafe… I’m going to go out on a limb and say that feminism doesn’t empower women, it turns them into spoiled children who are simultaneously afraid of their own shadows.

    Hear me roar, my @$$.

  6. Farm Boy

    If you don’t feel safe at the celebration…you don’t have to go

    It’s all about being being a victim. A victim one way, or avictim the other way. One cant lose.

  7. Chris

    He Fuzzie…
    I’m single, remember? With kids… and a family that is not perfect. What I do is throw an “Not a Xmas party” — so people will just turn up with limited pressure, switch on the xbox with the simple kids games (hiding the boys copies of Assassin’s Creed — they know to think of small kiddies) and get a plie of food and drink and sit everyone down.

    I’m finding it hard to adjust to falling in love… after some years of grumpy batchelorhood.

    I do this about three times a year.
    It’s not very ideological.
    And on Christmas I travel to my parents and we ahve a family time.

    So find a nice bear family and some food and booze. You can go to crossfit the tollowing day.

    Hope the holidays went well, folks.

  8. feeriker

    Just hope and pray that your feminazi aunt/niece/cousin isn’t one of those self-centered entitled types who invites herself to your holiday gathering.

  9. sunshinemary Post author

    @ Lyn87

    What is it with feminists and the word safe?

    I’ve noticed that they tend to throw that word around a lot when it has absolutely no bearing on whatever subject is at hand – as if anything that a typical feminist does, or any place she goes, is actually unsafe. It would be hard to imagine any situation that is safer than being an Upper Middle Class White woman (the core constituency of people who read things with titles like “The Feministing Guide to Surviving the Holidays”) at the home of her own relatives who were thoughtful enough to invite her over for some turkey and stuffing at their own expense.

    Since feminists almost never use the word safe in the context of actual safety, what on Earth could they mean by it? They mean, of course, someplace where their feelings might get hurt or they might encounter a different opinion or, even worse, inconvenient facts. That is what passes for “danger” in feminist circles – people might realize that their default setting is “Damsels in Distress,” and bitchy, clueless damsels at that.

    EXCELLENT observation, sir! Indeed, they want to be safe from being offended. Not having everyone affirm them every second makes them feel unsafe. But woe to any man or woman who suggests that a girl getting falling-down drunk on a college campus is actually doing something unsafe! Then we will be subjected to endless tirades and feminist foot-stampings because getting falling down drunk isn’t the problem – men are the problem, feminists say.

    Since feminism has taught women that a turkey dinner among people who are far more pleasant that they are is actually unsafe… I’m going to go out on a limb and say that feminism doesn’t empower women, it turns them into spoiled children who are simultaneously afraid of their own shadows.

    Truer words were never spoken…

    Hear me roar, my @$$.

    Feminist rantings: full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

  10. donalgraeme

    What is it with feminists and the word safe?

    Let me give me stab at it:

    FEAR.

    Women are naturally fearful creatures in a way that we men can’t truly comprehend. Fear saturates nearly everything a woman does, it affects all her decisions, motivations and behaviors.

    Part of me thinks that “Empowerment” as we understand it, the whole process of teaching women that they don’t need a man in their life, has accidentally tapped into something deep in the female psyche. When a woman’s hind-brain hears the constant refrain of “you don’t need a man, you can do everything yourself”, it translates this message into: “you can’t find a man, you have to do everything yourself.” In short, it stimulates the innate danger sense a woman experiences when cut off from the protection of the Herd, or even better, the protection of a man. The result is a constant, ever-abiding sense of fear that permeates into every fiber of her being.

  11. hearthie

    @Chris – It makes me so happy to hear you talking about falling in love again. SQUISH! :)

    As for random people, that’s sort of my forte, but I let my mom do TG this year. We’re going to do something like Chris on Christmas Eve. Just make a messload of food and tell whoever wants to come to show up hungry. Hiding the first-person-shooter games that my kids play with DH. (LOL)

    @donal – try being shorter and less able to fight than most teenage boys and see how not-fearful you are. Or portable. I remember as a teenage girl having two 6yo boys pick me up, one by each leg. Yes, that made me feel so empowered… the elementary schoolers are carrying me off! “We don’t need a man” is a fallacy designed to increase both bravado and fear, because it concentrates ones energy on men-as-dangerous rather than men-as-protector, and makes you try to be more androgynous so that you can take care of things you’re not built to take care of except in extremity.

  12. Looking Glass

    @donal:

    Women, from age 2 on, learn they can’t actually impose their Will on others via physical means. They are, for all intents & purposes, inter-dependent on other humans for survival. Men simply aren’t. This is why we teach young Boys to “buck up” so much. They have to learn that, unlike the girls, they have to take care of themselves, if they want to be accepted by other Men.

    It’s the basis of all differential Male & Female understandings. It is that fundamental. Not that, as Christians, we don’t see that played out perfectly in Genesis 1-3, but that’s just the way it is. And that difference means everything. It’s why feminizing Men makes them so worthless and masculizing Women makes them loose cannons.

    So, yes, it’s Fear, which leads to emotional swings to deal with the Fear. It’s also why Women are more receptive to Religion changes. If one makes them “less afraid”, they’ll change Religions very quickly. It’s also why they work, at the elementary level, to make whatever part of a Religion causes them “fear” go away. Unfortunately, that instinct makes the Religion worthless.

    The Epistles aren’t just the Inspired Text: they also act as a basic understanding of the reality of Humans.

  13. Looking Glass

    @heartie:

    Most boys are physically stronger than their Mothers by age 6. Age 8 for larger Women. This is also why they try so hard to squelch young Boys in the current educational environment. The “Truth” becomes obvious to them very quickly if they’re allowed to learn properly.

  14. Farm Boy

    Women need men as a whole. They fear losing their grip on them. They used to.handle this issue by earning their goodwill. Now they do it through legislative intimidation.

  15. FuzzieWuzzie

    SSM, you have a great mother-in-law! Taking in a singles at holidays time is a superb act of charity. It means a lot to the lonely. Given what Luke had to say, Christ would agree.
    Wouldn’t Big Red make a horrible dinner companion? I had to throw that one in for grins.

    Chris, your advice was already taken. I spent Thanksgiving with a family yesterday. It is good advice. Can you imagine how many lonely people stay in? That has to wear on them.

    Donal Graeme,
    You are very much on to something. It’s primal and it’s something feminists will never accept

  16. Farm Boy

    It’s primal and it’s something feminists will never accept

    This refrain could be said about many aspects of feminism.

  17. tj

    Strong, self-confident women don’t need helplines or holiday family survival guides…..much less men to pay for their birth control for that matter.

    Is this what Feminism has come to – treating women as helpless infants incapable of simply enjoying a festive occasion?

  18. tj

    @Fuzzie – I kinda want to date that crazy redhead. Oh yes, it’d be a challenge – a serious challenge – but Everest wouldn’t be as fun to climb if it were 10′ tall.

  19. hearthie

    @Looking Glass – Yes. I know perfectly well that most men and boys over say… 14? can do whatever they want to me unless I’m in the company of another man or armed. Finis. The fact that most of y’all *do not want* to hurt women is awesome, but if we buy into think of men-as-enemies, that becomes impossible to realize. And a central tenet of serious feminism is that men are the enemy.

    Personally, I find that most men are extremely protective, and I enjoy that.

  20. Farm Boy

    .much less men to pay for their birth control for that matter.

    Men don’t need to do that, insurance handles that.

  21. tj

    @Farm Boy – and who pays the majority of taxes?

    But if it makes you happier, you can substitute “government” and that’ll work – the point is the same – the lack of personal responsibility and the expectation that someone else will pay.

    Just as with all the stories bouncing around about college women and drinking – and how they ought not be held accountable for their actions, etc. If this is so, if women are incapable of making rational and “adult” decisions while drinking, then perhaps we ought to outlaw drinking – for their own good, of course. We’re doing it for the chilluns1!!11!!

  22. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy,
    Enlisting the cooperation of men through goodwill was much better. Legislating and enforcing are bad substitutes.

    TJ,
    That craaazzyy redhead! It would be fun to see her in person with a bunch of us. She wouldn’t be very effective because we’d all be laughing too much.

  23. Farm Boy

    TJ,

    Don’t you know that Obamabucks will subsidize the whole endeavour. And those come from just one guy, not guys in general.

  24. Recluse

    SSM,

    Regarding your (and others) comment earlier about inviting singles over for the holidays, I agree it is nice and appreciated. However, I would also say not to be too concerned if we turn you down. A coworker of mine that I get along with quite well offered to let me come over to his house for his family’s dinner. I wanted to turn down the offer merely for the sake of such situations being uncomfortable for me. I’ve done holidays at another family’s house before and, no offense to the givers, but visitors can often end up feeling a like a bit of an intruder into an intimate family setting. Or at least that’s how I’ve felt. The family tried being welcoming and all but at the same time it was still a Family affair.

    Luckily for me this year I had an easy out to get out of his offer. My church was having a Thanksgiving Day Liturgy and was following that by a Thanksgiving dinner. As an added bonus a friend of mine from back in High School told me his parents (who were nearly like second parents to me as a teen) had invited me to their family Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday afternoon. So two meals for me in situations where I feel at least nominally comfortable.

    As for the coworker above, don’t get me wrong, I truly appreciate his offer of hospitality but I’ve only known him for several months now and I know no one in his family. As a rather introverted individual going into a situation like that is the ultimate in uncomfortable situations… a situation lasting several hours at least with next to no one I know and no real place for me to ‘escape’ the crowd and expectation for at least marginal conversation… ya, I get uncomfortable just thinking about it.

    [ssm: Yes, that's quite true. The way my MIL has handled this is that the singles she invites are distant relatives or family friends so that they don't feel so awkward OR she invites several stragglers so they don't feel like the odd man out. Before she retired, she worked at a University and she often invited two or three graduate students who were far from home and needed something nice to do on Thanksgiving. If it's just one person, the feel odd, but if it's two or three, then it isn't awkward.

    All this is, of course, quite different from the feminists in the OP: they actually receive invitations but then make themselves as disagreeable as possible, no doubt setting their long-suffering family members' teeth on edge.]

  25. deLaune

    @FuzzieWuzzie
    I’m 14 years divorced and well over 50. That redhead looks pretty good to me.

    Don’t worry, before I put the bag over her head I’ll line it with acoustic foam.

    I think the black guy with the white beard was thinking the same thing…

  26. FuzzieWuzzie

    deLaune,
    You are welcome to her. It is notable that she has made only one appearance in public. I have to guess that she realizes that she has done her cause more harm than good.

    Recluse, a good point. Glad that things worked out for you.

  27. Farm Boy

    You can also use your family’s own traditions against them by pointing out the feminist messages within their cherished holiday stories.

    I suppose that one could start with Santa, who has a wife who is very supportive of his endeavours. He has a team of reindeer, all bucks.

  28. ANorthernObserver

    To expand on what Recluse wrote, if you have the heart to invite a single over on a holiday, you need to establish a relationship with them beforehand so there’s a connection between them and you, and which can be extended to also include the family members. I’ve had good times with a number of families in this manner, and I wish more “marrieds” would offer to include singles in their activities, or make time to do things with their single friends.

  29. Farm Boy

    They don’t comment on proper attire. Probably not the slut suit. One would think that it would not be useful for its intended purpose around relatives.

  30. sunshinemary Post author

    Well Big Red is wearing lipstick. Maybe she is trying to catch a guy

    They mostly all are, Farm Boy, which is a subject I shall have more to say about soon. I have a fine example of this in action, but alas, instead of blogging, I must spend all day tomorrow freezing my you-know-what off at the UM/OSU game.

  31. Farm Boy

    the UM/OSU game

    You mean that game is still on? I thought that they were going to forfeit.

    [ssm: LOL! They might as well. But my dear husband's family have been tailgating with the same group of people for something like forty years, so it will be a huge party, and we'll have fun despite the inevitable result of the game.]

  32. Farm Boy

    my dear Fuzzie! I would never set you up with a feminist!

    I bet that they taste like chicken.

    [ssm: Please don't eat the feminists.]

  33. FuzzieWuzzie

    “Well, Big Red is wearing lipstick. Maybe she is trying to catch a guy.”
    Could she possibly be interested in deaf/mutes? That would account for the visual enchancements. Maybe, it would be better to wait for SSM’s insights…

  34. FuzzieWuzzie

    “My dear Fuzzie, I would never set you up with a feminist>”
    “I bet they taste like chicken>”
    “SSM:Please don’t eat the feminists.”
    At one time, I did have the inspiration to write a fictional comment about meeting one. Under the spell of a powerful attraction, She decided to take the bear home. On the the way, she had to stop at the store for peanut butter and honey.
    Asking why, she responded:”The honey is for me and if you’re anything like a dog, the peanut butter is for you.”

  35. Farm Boy

    Could she possibly be interested in deaf/mutes?

    No, she is holding out for Emperor Palpatine. Only he has the ability to put her in her place. Think of the tingles!

  36. FuzzieWuzzie

    “Emperor Palpatine. Think of the tingles!”
    Uh oh. The problem with ambition is that it can get you into trouble. The Emperor may trade her off to Jabba the Hut. Princess Leia didn’t work out too well.
    Imagine Big Red in that costume.

  37. Farm Boy

    there’s a 97% chance that the mere idea of the next month of celebrations makes you want never, ever to get out of bed…

    Like my sister’s skitzo MIL, feminists can be lucid on occasion

  38. Calliso

    Well I will address a few of these points

    1. The holidays are very stressful for many people feminist or not. And feminist or not many people do suffer from depression and the holidays often only make you feel worse. I have suffered from depression many times before so I can say this from personal experience.

    2. Eh one does not have to be a social reject to have no where to go for the holidays. Some people for instance live far away from their family. I for instance live in a different state from all of my relatives and my husbands parents are a few hours away. I also had to work everyday this week up to and including Thanksgiving. So that makes any get togethers on Thanksgiving rather difficult. If someone does has friends in many cases these friends will be busy with their own families and even if they do invite you going to a house with a bunch of people you do not know is not something that everyone would enjoy. Also outside of people I talk to at work and online I do not have friends I have hang out with and talk with in real life. I do not feel I am a social reject these are just choices I have made.

    3. Yeah her advice here was bad. If you absolutely must talk, to the person in private maybe start an email conversation. But often times it is best to just bite your tongue or politely move the conversation in a better direction. You start bringing videos and books even if people pretend like they are seeing your point of view as soon as you have left they will be likely thinking/saying Thank God he or she is gone!

    4. Ideally almost everyone should pitch in a little. I mean unless you are either very young or very old everyone should at least wash their own plates. Nothing is wrong either with politely asking someone to help out. But one should not obsess over whether or not everyone is equally helping out. And having too many people in the kitchen trying to help out just makes things worse.

    5. Feminist or not plenty of people suffer from anxiety. For instance personally I hate to drive and it can and does sometimes cause me anxiety. So I can understand from personal experience why someone for instance could feel very anxious about the prospect of driving long distances for instance. Dealing with all the idiots behind wheels not to mention possible bad weather like rain and snow, yeah just thinking about that makes me anxious! Fortunately for me my husband does most of the driving but not everyone has someone to drive them places!

    6. Eating disorders are serious things and not something to joke about. As for some men lining up or whatever you want to call it to date these girls with these problems. Well some people are just disgusting human beings. But I am not sure if that article was actually meant to be taken seriously.

  39. Farm Boy

    Feminist or not plenty of people suffer from anxiety.

    Feminism would appear to be a “force multiplier”

  40. Calliso

    Feminism would appear to be a “force multiplier”

    Maybe maybe not to be honest I have yet to see anything beyond some posting/assumptions on some blogs as evidence for this.

  41. FuzzieWuzzie

    For me, i think Big Red. In no time at all, she would appreciate having a bear for a roomie. She would feel “safe”. If she got out of line, she would be reminded of the rumor that she tastes like chicken.

  42. Calliso

    Maybe maybe not to be honest I have yet to see anything beyond some posting/assumptions on some blogs as evidence for this.
    But to add to this I admit it is not something I have done any research on so I don’t really have an informed opinion on this.

  43. Carnivore

    Uncle Bernie just said, “Bring me some pie, sweetcheeks” and fell asleep on the couch.
    Mmmm, I’ll have to use that at the next holiday party.

    “Delay Thanksgiving Dinners to See Suffragette”
    Full article here, although difficult to read in spots:
    http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/11/25/delay-thanksgiving-dinners-to-see-suffragette/
    Apparently American suffragettes were more civilized than their British cousins – they didn’t want to stone their legislators.

    [ssm: Thanks for linking to the full article!]

  44. Farm Boy

    have yet to see anything beyond some posting/assumptions on some blogs as evidence for this.

    How many feminists who have said “My life is awesome” did you believe?

  45. Calliso

    “How many feminists who have said “My life is awesome” did you believe?”

    To be honest whether or not someone is a feminist isn’t really a topic I bring up with people. While I can make assumptions based on what I do know about a person I can’t always know for sure if they are a feminist. Also I have had very few people actually tell me their life is awesome.

    [ssm: Sorry, Calliso, but I'm not buying your line of argument here, darlin'. The proof is in the pudding; nowhere else have I see the bitterness that is evidenced in the Feministing document. No other segment of people are going into the holidays assuming the bad intentions in others that these women are assuming. No one else is feeling the need to become an emotional, hysterical wreck because someone at the dinner table disagreed with their politics. No one else is recommending that you bring children's books to the gathering that demonstrate why even celebrating that holiday is evil and oppressive (on the Feministing site, they refer to Thanksgiving as Day of Mourning). The way feminists perceive celebrations and family life is twisted and strange and represents the natural fruit of their family-destroying and society-destabilizing ideology.]

  46. FuzzieWuzzie

    Farm Boy,
    I’ve never heard a feminist say “My life is awesome.” The seem to be complaining with monotonous regularity. I think the only time that they are happy is when they do something mean to men.
    It’s time to dust this on off for those who haven’t seen it:

    At least, Boris Badenov is funny.

  47. Farm Boy

    Let me clarify. Feminists, at least younger ones like to use “awesome” to describe one or another aspect of their lives. And often the implication is that it extents to many aspects.

  48. Calliso

    “Let me clarify. Feminists, at least younger ones like to use “awesome” to describe one or another aspect of their lives. And often the implication is that it extents to many aspects”

    Ahh well maybe my experiences are because most of the people I talk to/hang out with are older then me.

  49. redpillsetmefree

    It’s difficult to understand why the women that get caught up in/converted to Feminism don’t look at results.

    It produces unfeminine behavior, life long bitterness, spinsterhood, and a lack of ability to appreciate any blessing a man might ever be to you.

  50. Ton

    Being alone on a holiday beats the hell out of being married during the holidays. Hell Chrsiatms I Somila beat the hell out of Christmas as a married man.

    Some folks just don’t know when they have been blessed.

    [ssm: Perhaps this is so for some married men. Certainly there are very many married men who would not agree with this as a blanket statement, but no doubt it is true for some.]

  51. Sarah's Daughter

    “Being alone on a holiday beats the hell out of being married during the holidays.”

    Hmm, is this a comment by a feminist troll? A strong independent woman who has no need for a man? One who rejects the patriarchal notion that a woman submit to a man and become one flesh (gasp!)?

    No, no, it is from a man who is on a Christian married woman’s blog speaking out regarding the blessings of being a divorced/non married man.

    What’s that? They sound the same? Yeah, I know.

  52. Farm Boy

    “Being alone on a holiday beats the hell out of being married during the holidays.”

    A Feminist Troll might say that, but should one believe it?

    With the deck stacked in her favor, why wouldn’t a Feminist want to be married?

  53. Farm Boy

    It’s difficult to understand why the women that get caught up in/converted to Feminism don’t look at results.

    Like lots of problem pathologies, it feels good at first.

    Before one knows it, one is invested in it.

  54. John

    The proverb “Blood is thicker than water” arose from the saying
    “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

  55. tbc

    SSM — great post, and I really appreciate your addendum comment about your MIL; how she invites ‘stragglers’ in to be a part of the celebration.

    Yes, holidays are often difficult, especially for involuntarily single people (even voluntary singles), but even for married folks. It is difficult because it is connected to family, and families are … complicated. I remember a saying from somewhere that home is the place that when you have to go there, they have to take you in. So it isn’t always easy for people; SSM is not suggesting that it is.

    BUT holidays don’t have to be pain and snark filled. One of the greatest blessings of being a Christian is that aside my immediate blood related relatives, I have a vast interconnected extended family of the cross. The church at its best looks out for the involuntary single — the widow, the frivorcee, the guy or gal (or bear) who wants to get married but hasn’t found the right one yet. Christians ought to make the effort year round to be the kind of people that when the holidays come around, an invitation to hang out doesn’t generate too much awkwardness because why yes, you’ve been part of the family all along.

    There is a certain gift in making people who are not ‘in your family’ feel like part of the family. I’ve been to some gatherings where the hostess operated in such a way that I couldn’t help but feel a part of the family — she wouldn’t allow me to feel awkward even if I tried. On a practical note, it is helpful when the single invitee isn’t the only one at the dinner. It also helps if he is asked to contribute in some way — “Hey Mike I’m expecting you at our house by 2pm and don’t forget to bring the mashed potatoes. I don’t know what we’d do if you forgot.” So then involuntarily single Mike is both invited and obligated — which is part of being a family. He’s not just a guest, but he’s treated like family — so he’d better be ready to wash some dishes!

  56. Sarah's Daughter

    A Feminist Troll might say that, but should one believe it?

    No, not in my experience.

    However I’m not inclined to believe it from a man either. Especially when I get to witness, year after year, a man who stands at the head of his table, overlooking a feast, with the blessings of the Lord (his children) gathered round and with the wife of his youth seated next to him, he says a prayer of thanksgiving.

    I’m not inclined to believe it when I hear the testimony of a man who was not faithful to his wife, yet she’s forgiven him. He struggles with his faith yet there she is, his wife, and there they are, his babies, and here he is, at the head of his table…forgiven, honored, believed in…humbled.

    I’m not inclined to believe it when I hear of the man who married his bride a little over a year ago, whose heath failed him and he went home to his Lord. Before he left, however, his wife became pregnant. Her exact words this Thanksgiving: “I want to look to the heavens and scream “WHY?!” But instead, I need to be on my knees and quietly ask “how?” Lord God, ‘how’ can I glorify You through this tragedy? ‘How’ can my life honor You Lord? I am grieving the loss of my kind hearted and sweet husband, but I am blessed to know that in just a few short weeks I will be celebrating the birth of our beautiful son.”

    I am blessed this holiday season, not with tales of how great things are in the world, but with how great God is. I will testify until I have no voice left to do so that it is not good for a man to be alone.

    [ssm: I very much agree with your last sentence there. A separate but related issue is whether or not it is better for a man to accept a modern woman for a wife. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.]

  57. pukeko60

    Sarah, sorry to hear about the death.
    One of the differences within the English speaking world is that outside North America Thanksgiving does not exist. The big holiday is Christmas — which coincides with the summer break in Australia, New Zealand (and South Africa). The idea of sitting around and being cheerful about the good things that have happened in the last year is as foreign as Hallowe’en is: (or, reversing it is, as setting of fireworks and burning an effigy on Guy Fawke’s Day is in North America).
    Railing at God is accepted: otherwise the Psalmist and Job are heretical. Tolerating the family on Christmas day is a duty. you don’t have to like it, you have to do it.

    But happiness and expecting people to agree with us? It occurs, but it’s not to be expected, and it sure as anything is not a right.

  58. Ton

    The simplest and quickest way to end feminism would be for men to remove their good will.toward women.

    Most men are ball-less wonders so feminism will continue until a stronger tribe replaces us.

    At a bare minimum at lest 50% of the men in the usa don’t have your fairy tale bull poo SD. And that’s simply the actual divorces, and doesn’t.count and the marriages that suck. You cannot take your extremely rare situation an extrapolate it to the people at large. You will because you are a woman and trying to prop up a failed system so your daughters have mules to marry, but what you described is not any where near the norm.

    I speak out because I want young men to know the reality of life and warn them about women being wolves in sheep clothing. Especially Christain women. Basically I want to ensure that young men don’t screw up and marry your daughters for the sake of the young man’s well being

    [ssm: What I perceive as being the problem in your message is that you do not differentiate between Marriage 2.0 and Marriage 1.0. You give the impression that you believe marriage period is the problem, but as Christians, we must reject your belief because the Bible says otherwise. God ordained marriage, so we really don't have the right to reject it as an institution, though each of us personally may choose to remain single if we believe that this is what the Lord wants for us to do.

    Now personally, given how biased against men and marriage our current culture is, I really have to agree that men need to be cautioned about proceeding blithely into marriage. But to marry is not synonymous with becoming a mule.]

  59. hoellenhund2

    “try being shorter and less able to fight than most teenage boys and see how not-fearful you are.”

    That doesn’t make sense. The average woman is seen by no one as a physical threat that needs to be kept in check and beaten down if necessary. It doesn’t matter that she’s physically inferior, because she’s normally never put into a position where she has to utilize that strength. Women are never expected to fight and defend themselves. If she has enough sense to live with some beta chump instead of an alpha thug, the chances of her ever getting beaten are nil. Her fear is groundless and is nothing but an excuse to validate her victim status.

  60. Sarah's Daughter

    I speak out because I want young men to know the reality of life and warn them about women being wolves in sheep clothing. Especially Christain women. Basically I want to ensure that young men don’t screw up and marry your daughters for the sake of the young man’s well being

    Very well, Ton. Our blog hostess will decide, or hopefully her husband will. I will not participate on a blog written by a married Christian woman who supports the message you have.

    Your message is of the enemy. I will have no part in it.

    [ssm: I see no reason to kick Ton to the curb at present. It is enough to allow him to have his say and then for others to disagree with him. Those who wish to participate here should understand that I mod very lightly and you are almost certain to read things here that you disagree with and which may even offend you. It goes without saying that it should in no way be understood that I agree with all the comments that I allow. In fact, I disagree with Ton quite strongly on these two points:

    1. that men are a priori happier without women; that has not been my observation.
    2. that marriage is only about women acquiring personal slaves/mules.]

  61. Ton

    Yes I am the enemy because I disagree with you a woman’s who has been clear her purpose is to find mules for her daughter’s.

  62. Farm Boy

    I will not participate on a blog written by a married Christian woman who supports the message you have.

    I believe this to be a forum, where people can express their views, within limits.

  63. Farm Boy

    The simplest and quickest way to end feminism would be for men to remove their good will.toward women.

    That is happening naturally, as fellas start to see the contradictions between what they are told and what they see.

    The law is stepping in to compensate; but that will only work in the short term.

  64. grey_whiskers

    @Fuzzie Wuzzie November 29, 2013 at 4:24 pm, @ssm
    (video of short-red-haired feminist deleted for brevity)

    Whenever I see a feminist like this, it always brings to mind the line from
    Tolkien’s description of the barrow-wights in The Fellowship of the RIng:

    the cold [was] cursing the warmth for which it hungered.

  65. grey_whiskers

    @Lyn87 on November 29, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    If you don’t feel safe at the celebration…you don’t have to go

    What is it with feminists and the word safe?

    I’ve noticed that they tend to throw that word around a lot when it has absolutely no bearing on whatever subject is at hand – as if anything that a typical feminist does, or any place she goes, is actually unsafe. It would be hard to imagine any situation that is safer than being an Upper Middle Class White woman (the core constituency of people who read things with titles like “The Feministing Guide to Surviving the Holidays”) at the home of her own relatives who were thoughtful enough to invite her over for some turkey and stuffing at their own expense.
    Turkeys are ALWAYS in danger on Thanksgiving Day.

  66. Legion

    deLaune November 29, 2013 at 6:33 pm
    “Don’t worry, before I put the bag over her head I’ll line it with acoustic foam.”

    She’s a 3 bagger: 1 for her, 1 for me in case her’s falls off and 1 for my dog so he’ll still respect me in the morning.

  67. tj

    @Farm Boy – I’d guess no little reds – she’s waiting until she “done it all”. But cats? I’m thinking a dozen or so.

    BTW – your Obamabucks comment above made me laugh. ‘cuz Obamabucks are free and harvested by locally sourced unicorns.

    Been thinking about Big Red – couple thoughts – first, notice how she’s got on lipstick and has carefully done eyebrows and nicish clothes. I’d bet decent money her bra and undies match and are expensive – and were she to ever smile, she might actually be attractive. Second – she reminds me of a feral dog in many ways – snarling and gnashing at the world she so badly wants to be part of…

    Perhaps I shall become the Feminist Whisperer

  68. knepper

    It’s the feminist/leftist that makes the rest of the family gathering feel ‘unsafe’, or at least on edge, dreading the moment when the leftist is driven to bring up politics and/or religion, and start the argument that destroys the family peace. Yet almost invariably, they are compelled to do it. Something about the peaceful, joyful family interaction bothers the leftist to the point where they just have to destroy the peace. Almost like, I never have this happiness in my daily life (due to ‘choices’ I have made), so I don’t want you to have it either.

  69. tj

    @Ton

    At risk of you playing a feminist game and attempting to “white knight” label me, let me just note that not all women are Jen Erickson’s (sp?). I for one, appreciate our gracious hostess and the others here and am hopeful they’re on the cutting edge of women loving being women in a red pill world.

    My experience has been to praise that which you wish to see more of. I want to see more Sunshine Mary’s and Girls Being Girls and Sarah’s Daughter and Stingray, etc etc etc. YMMV

  70. tj

    @Ton

    “Being alone on a holiday beats the hell out of being married during the holidays”

    Wow – we have such different experiences.

    You want to know what my Thanksgiving was like? The boy and I went to a local church and served meals to the homeless. That was the good.

    And then I dropped him off at his mother’s house for a few hours and came home to an empty house and thought about how great Thanksgiving used to be when I was part of “the family” before my ex “Eat, Pray, Loved” herself out of our marriage and I ran the beta playbook to perfection.

    That wasn’t so good.

    No thanks.

    Given my druthers, I’d far rather be celebrating with family and friends and my children and loving wife by my side than sitting alone in my empty house, wondering what in the hell to do.

    [ssm: You know, I hear more men say what you just said than say they prefer being alone. In addition to that, I hear many man say how happy they are to be alone while giving every impression of being desperately unhappy. It's not up to me to tell men what they should or shouldn't want or should or shouldn't do, but the conclusion seems hard not to draw...]

  71. Farm Boy

    harvested by locally sourced unicorns

    They are also organic and renewable.

    Sustainable is a matter to be determined

  72. Farm Boy

    Perhaps I shall become the Feminist Whisperer

    Well, the dog whisperer does bring feral dogs into the pack, which requires correct hierarchical behavior.

    So, the similarities are there.

  73. tj

    @Farm Boy – this is precisely why we need unicorn fracking – to unlock the vast reserves of domestic shale unicorns and reduce our dependence on foreign unicorns.

  74. Farm Boy

    Given my druthers, I’d far rather be celebrating with family and friends and my children and loving wife by my side than sitting alone in my empty house, wondering what in the hell to do.

    A loving wife, what’s that? I have not seen one since my mother. A bit of an exaggeration, but not by much.

  75. tj

    “Perhaps I shall become the Feminist Whisperer

    Well, the dog whisperer does bring feral dogs into the pack, which requires correct hierarchical behavior.

    So, the similarities are there.”

    Exactly my thought process…..

  76. Red Pill Woman

    I had the opportunity once during grad school to invite a few feminist college friends over for a holiday meal. It had been a rough semester on all of us, and because of weather, a few couldn’t go home. I was expecting the worst, but I prepared for the best. My tiny apartment looked, sounded, and smelled like something Norman Rockwell would approve of with pride.

    When these college friends arrived, I could see the scorn and criticism on their faces, especially directed at another friend (our amazing chef) who was in holiday cheer, wearing the traditional apron and “slaving” away in the kitchen.

    “Why didn’t you just order the package Thanksgiving meal from the local market?” Asked one.

    “I can’t believe you went to all this trouble. I mean, it’s a stupid holiday anyways designed to place women in the kitchen and men on their lazy butts in the living room.” (Trust me, that comment was edited for language.)

    And my favorite. “This is kindof making me uncomfortable. If I had wanted something traditional, I would have went home.”

    But knowing me and how “persuasive” I can be with them, they stayed. And like the slow thaw of the turkey after it’s deep freeze, they began to warm up, relax, and even share some laughter. By the time the night was over, they were different women, sharing stories about their dads, their families, and most of all, sharing a part of themselves that feminism had so tightly bound up.

    Unfortunately that Monday in our UN class, they were back to their feminist selves. So I have to believe that deep down, under all the feminism layered on like clown makeup, disguising their true features, there lies real women with a deeply repressed desire for something more than what feminism is offering them.

  77. Farm Boy

    I wonder which is harder..

    A “nice guy” maintaining game over the long haul

    Or

    A woman maintaining the “feminist” exterior over the long haul

  78. The Feminist Whisperer

    @RPW – great story – thanks for sharing.

    And yes.

    It’s funny – one of things I miss most about Thanksgiving when married – the time my ex FinL and I would spend together cleaning up afterwards. Those were great nights we shared.

  79. The Feminist Whisperer

    “They would never let us frack unicorns.”

    Stupid hippie environmentalists and their misguided fears of Anthropogenic Global Sparkling

  80. Bee

    ” If the conflict falls along traditional party lines, check out the Dem’s guide to arguing with your Republican uncle. RH Reality Check published a great Planned Parenthood break-down of how to talk about repro justice over turkey”

    In my experience with my extended family it has been the feminists that have ruined the holiday meals by insisting on injecting controversial, bigoted comments into the conversation.

  81. anonymous_ng

    I think I read the following in a preface by the science fiction writer Jerry Pournelle [paraphrased]:

    Government goes in cycles:
    Dictator
    Monarch
    Oligarchy
    Democracy, until the people realize they can vote themselves largesse from the public coffers and it all goes to hell and then a dictator arises again.

  82. Maeve

    That woman with the Crayola hair is outrageous. I think she can serve as a perfect example of what to avoid becoming. I must share this with my girls.

  83. Winter

    My uncle wrote a post on Facebook describing the behavior of a college-aged guest my cousin invited to come home with her for Thanksgiving. Apparently she spent most of the meal trying to convert them all to atheism and complaining that the turkey wasn’t organic. How gracious. How delightful. I wonder if she read and internalized this dreadful Feministing article?

  84. Farm Boy

    complaining that the turkey wasn’t organic.

    At least she wasn’t vegan, like my niece.

    I wonder if people who eat organic create organic scheise…

  85. Pingback: Feminists Are No Fun to Be Around

  86. tbc

    The bitterness that often undergirds feminism is nihilism. There is an existential meaninglessness to life when it is snapped out of its metaphysical frame. What after all is a woman but a walking womb, destined by biology to be dependent upon the male of the species unless she ‘un-sexes’ herself through the suppression of her biology and the aping of the traits of dominant men. Feminists are essentially misogynists, hating their own sex and the inherent limitations thereof.

  87. FuzzieWuzzie

    It seems that, in addition to feminism, we all have to deal with political correctness. Reading these comments and watching a docudrama on youtube entitled “Inside the Third Reich” sent shivers down my spine.
    Off topic but pertinent, we should restrain ourselves from referring to feminists as “feminazis”. Nazis wholly supported traditional gender roles. Kinder, Kuche, Kirche. Children, kitchen, church. To be fair to the Nazis, they would have opposed feminism.

    Maeve, Big Red is a hoot. She is so far over the top, that’s the only way to handle seeing her. There are more videos of her on youtube.

    Red Pill Woman, thanks for the story and its insight.

  88. Maeve

    Fuzzie, Do you think she even has any idea how horrible she looks and sounds? If I was ever caught behaving or looking like that, I think I’d crawl under a rock and never come back out again.

  89. Farm Boy

    Feminists are essentially misogynists, hating their own sex and the inherent limitations thereof

    It would seem so.

    But why? It always seemed to me that true women are contented, and even happy, in both the short and long term.

  90. Ton

    I dropped an 8 point buck on Thanksgiving morning and processed it while my live in cooked,.cleaned etc. Then I ate a fine meal, drank 2 moonshine I made myself and yelled at the Packers….That’s the problem friend, you are pining away for something that has never existed.

    All those things wives use to do can be hired out for less money and less hassle.

    My experience is no woman is worth a damn over the long haul.

    SD’ s blog is pretty clear in its intent. Or was. Have no idea if she cleaned it up or not but yes we are enemies. Hells bells the woman wants me pay alimony for life or reunite with a whore. Either way it says a lot, none of it good if you have a hang dangle.

    [ssm: "That's the problem friend, you are pining away for something that has never existed. All those things wives use to do can be hired out for less money and less hassle."

    I understand that this is your experience, and unfortunately the experience of far too many men. However, it is simply not the case that he is pining for something that never existed. Such relationships existed before, exist now, and will continue to exist in the future. It is riskier now than before to seek such a relationship and I don't really fault a man who isn't willing to play those odds. That, however, is quite different than saying that all that a woman by definition can bring to a man are things he can hire out better.

    Also, I don't know how to say this nicely...I know that men around here often talk about how unhappy many of the the married men they know are...but the truth is...the majority of men here who are single don't seem terribly joy-filled. There are a few exceptions. Though I like your gruff, no-nonsense attitude a lot of the time, Ton, I'm must say that you do not come across as one of those exceptions.]

  91. tbc

    But why? It always seemed to me that true women are contented, and even happy, in both the short and long term.

    The True Man (which encompasses Woman) is contented, but alas Man has fallen from his former estate through envy of the Divine Nature (which he already possessed). We, none of us, are as content as we might be, since our first father and mother believed the lie that we should be ‘like God, knowing good and evil’. Since then we have strained against the limitation — man against the limits imposed on us by the utter futility of our work, for no matter how we strive to beat it back, ‘thorns and thistles’ it yields us. Women against the limits imposed by her own weakness, for ‘her desire shall be to her husband but he shall rule over her’. In both cases, it is a limitation inherent in our nature as creatures, yet instead of that limitation driving us downward into dependence and liberation through such dependence on God, it drives us to rage against the God who made us so… and since God is an inconvenient foe, we turn our rage against ourselves and against the other, blaming ourselves and them for what we are and what we are not.

    The true-est Man, the second Adam, manifests in himself the totality of the true masculine and feminine principle, wielding his unlimited power entirely selflessly for the good of the other — the masculine; and yet submitting his will entirely to that of the father — the feminine. It is why every man and woman who yields himself to Christ totally finds himself totally contented, for only in him can the fullness of our masculinity and femininity find expression without reservation.

  92. FuzzieWuzzie

    Maeve,
    Big Red probably considers it a matter of “style”. It’s plainly not feminine and it’s not masculine either. Canadian men tend to be laid back. She must be proud of the level of obnoxiousness that she has attained.

    Farm Boy,
    “But is Big Red happy?”
    She can more than relate to that Boris Badenov cartoon that I linked. Watching that must make her happy.

  93. redpillsetmefree

    It’s always the same.

    People quote scriptures on the heinousness of divorce, or on sexual immorality, and then use them as part of a weighted attack on men.

    However; the woman’s scriptural responsibilities are rarely ever quoted; we can’t even have a serious conversation about them being realistic expectations, or of them being enforced by social or legal contract, because again, that’s a joke.
    Deuteronomy 22:20-21 – Expectation of virginity
    Proverbs 31 – Expectation of personal development & character; wife, mother, entrepreneurial skills
    Ephesians 5:22-24 Expectation of Submission to husbands
    1 Peter 3:1-6 Expectation of respectful & modest public behavior, & respect for husbands
    Titus 2:3-5 Expectation of submission to older female mentors

    All the men, the American men at least, are having a good laugh reading that list.

    There are actually quite a few men that would love to be married to a woman like that, and work all of their lives to support her and the family happily….but what are the chances of that being a reality?

  94. freebird

    John said:
    “The proverb “Blood is thicker than water” arose from the saying
    “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

    Thank you John,always a pleasure to learn something.

    The phrase:
    “Turn the other cheek” was not a call to forgiveness.

    The context is this:
    At the time the Romans where in power and the Jews deemed substandard whilst under their rule.
    So it was common for a Roman to verbally slander a Jew in public.
    To ‘turn the other cheek’ was to demand an escalation to physical force,then the Jew would have recourse to the Roman legal system and could charge his bully with assault.

    So turn the other cheek means:
    “Come on and hit me,I dare you,then your ass is mine via the legal system.

    It is about using State violence as a recourse to social violence.

    Nothing peaceful about that.

    You’re welcome

  95. sunshinemary Post author

    Dear Lord,
    For Christmas this year, all I really want is for You in Your Almighty wisdom and grace to see to it that the entire University of Michigan football coaching staff are out on their posteriors, sent off to afflict other Big Ten schools.

    Really. Let’s have a little reader quiz. We’ll call it: Are You Smarter Than U of M Head Coach Brady Hoke? Here is the question:

    When your team scores a touchdown IN THE LAST 30 SECONDS of the game, and they are now down by only *one* point, but their performance has been inconsistent, do you:

    a. let them kick that extra point and try your luck in OT

    or

    b. go for the two point conversion?

  96. freebird

    Gosh SD, you had just won the game by saying it correctly in post 67,and then you went and blew it all with post 77.

    Oh noes,taking your marbles and running home?
    I shall weep until you return.

    Just like a woman not to stay with a winning hand,always has to draw the next card.
    Oops!

  97. Looking Glass

    It was a good decision, it was a bad play call. If you can make that greater than 50% of the time, then it’s the right choice. But you should have something tricky setup for that. Those are the plays you only pull out once a season.

  98. Recluse

    SSM: Two point conversion! Go big or go home!

    Then again I don’t watch sports, didn’t play sports in school, and when playing football in video games as a kid I had the most fun seeing how long I could run around the field without getting tackled by the other team and then getting bored and running out the back of my own team’s end zone giving the opposing team a safety. Ya… I might not be the one to ask about sports.

  99. Farm Boy

    For Christmas this year, all I really want is for You in Your Almighty wisdom and grace to see to it that the entire University of Michigan football coaching staff are out on their posteriors, sent off to afflict other Big Ten schools.

    Over-reacting, you are.

  100. Julian O'Dea

    I just wanted to second Chris’ remarks. One of the problems with being, as Churchill once said of the British and Americans, “divided by a common language” is that there are cultural subtleties that divide Australians like me and New Zealanders by adoption like Chris from Americans. For example, we don’t “do” Thanksgiving – although Halloween is creeping in.

    Australians do not believe in a right to the “pursuit of happiness” and we tend to set our sights lower. Survival is a good start, seems to be our philosophy. As Chris says, looking back over a year and giving thanks for blessings is not our style. It seems fraught with danger really, especially in a family context. I wonder if that is why Seinfeld had his Festivus, the holiday for the “airing of grievances”, as a kind of parody.

    Perhaps we just have lower expectations of each other here. Which may not be entirely a bad thing.

    As Chris said, Christmas is the big deal here. It is not only towards the end of our calendar year of course, but is during our summer holidays, and our school year ends at the end of the calendar year. This makes Christmas a natural time for relaxing and taking stock. But the weather on Christmas day is often uncomfortably hot. It is a wonder that there are not more family feuds. The truth is that the Festive Season is often the Restive Season.

  101. dannyfrom504

    but remember kids, “there are no good men out there”. we should start a “there’s no good women out there” movement. or, “where have all the good women gone?”

    NEW POST!!!!!!!!

  102. Chris

    Thanks Julian. One correction: my daughter does live in Canada, but I was born and raised in NZ.
    Which was freezing today… I am conferencing in Melbourne and hope that the weather is at least in double digits — it may have been 10 -15 but the wind chill today dropped it by at least ten degrees.
    SSM: you have not suffered until you have supported a bottom rung team in any Aussie league — from the Phoenix to Hawthorn.

  103. Chris

    Expand: i fly out tomorrow to be at a conference tuesday tp Saturday and then home. Last trip of the year. (Julian, the Australasian Society for Psychiatric Research Meeting).

  104. Ton

    I reckon the “there are no good men left” meme is true, or increasingly becoming true as good men keep bumping into typical women and not liking what they find

  105. Julian O'Dea

    Chris, so you are a native Kiwi. I thought you were a Yank.

    Hawthorn have never really been a dud team. Try the Western Bulldogs. They are a tough team to follow.

  106. anne

    My goodness! Are you routinely plagued by such people attending dinner at your home? If not, why on earth would you spend so much time blogging about things that don’t pertain to your home and hearth.

  107. Novaseeker

    For Christmas this year, all I really want is for You in Your Almighty wisdom and grace to see to it that the entire University of Michigan football coaching staff are out on their posteriors, sent off to afflict other Big Ten schools.

    Well, the call could have gone either way in terms of going for two. One school of thought is play for the tie at hoe and the win on the road, which would suggest going for the PAT. I can see being more aggressive there, but the real issue, I think, was not the decision to go for the win, but the play call — which, according to what OSU’s players said after the game, was one of the two that OSU’s coaches told them to expect on the play. Being predictable in that situation is terrible — if you are going to YOLO that decision, dig a bit deeper in the playbook and go for some trickeration. In for a penny, in for a pound mentality, I think. If you want a “safer” play, then kick the PAT and go to OT, but don’t be aggressive, on the one hand, and then safe/predictable on the other.

    Still, it was a tremendous coaching job and execution by Michigan overall, and that should not be overshadowed by the final play of the game. One of the most memorable Michigan-OSU games ever, I think. No-one gave Michigan a chance, and they totally exposed OSU, I think.

  108. Farm Boy

    NEW POST!!!!!!!!,

    Perhaps a post on rape culture? When you have these men who have strong urges to boink everything in sight, and they have the physical strength to easily overpower the potential boinkee, and the true rape rate is infinitesimal, then you have “rape culture”. We need to make it infinitesimal squared! Rape culture must be obliterated.

  109. Looking Glass

    When the game is 42-41, you’re pretty much looking at “one un/lucky bounce” situation in OT. Ending it that way makes a whole lot of sense. If it was 14-13 at that point, I’d probably go for kicking the field goal.

    But I want to reference the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, Boise State vs Oklahoma.

    One of the best college games of the last 20 years, but it was what they did on the game-deciding 2 point conversion. Oklahoma had scouted all of their 2 point plays, which Boise State coach knew would be true. That’s exactly why he ran the Statue of Liberty out of the formation. That’s the situation you pull out your bag of tricks, not get your receivers jammed at the line and the ball intercepted.

    Or if the QB read the fact the guy over the top was going to come free and hit him, but that might not have been a read on the play.

  110. Opus

    I second what Julian O’Dea was saying apropos Wilde: There are subtle and not so subtle cultural differences. I gained the impression that Thanksgiving was bigger for Americans than Xmas (Am I mistaken?) but even so by the 26th December Americans are back at work. You should experience British Xmas which frankly as you will see we need a few Feminists to disrupt.

    This is what happens: This year Xmas is on Wednesday so frankly as no one will be working Tuesday there is not much point going in Monday. That leaves Thursday and Friday, but Thursday – Boxing Day – is also a Public Holiday so there is no point going in on Friday, so that is one week seen to.

    The next week is hardly better because New Years Day is also on Wednesday. Again no one is doing anything New Years Even so there is no point going in on Monday, which leaves Thursday and Friday, but why ruin a decent holiday for two days work, so basically UK plc closes down for two weeks and that is without any help from the weather. It is my theory that this is the reason why we are no longer Top Nation nevertheless Turkeys fare better here.

  111. sunshinemary Post author

    OK, I’ll work on a new post now that we’re home from church, but first:

    Over-reacting, you are

    OK, look, I was the one shivering on cold metal bleachers surrounded by loud, drunk people for nearly four hours, with increasingly bored and wiggly young children, lol. And to end the game like that? No! They should have kicked the extra point! And let us not forget the field goal they kicked earlier in the game that the coach caused to get thrown out by calling for a time out after the play was already in motion; he changed his mind about going for the first down, which they then didn’t get, thereby allowing OSU to score a TD.

    I say it was poor coaching decisions!

    But I’m over it now. Mostly. :)

  112. Farm Boy

    I gained the impression that Thanksgiving was bigger for Americans than Xmas (Am I mistaken?)

    Yes you are. Christmas is materialism like you have never seen. Americans typically have houses with more square footage than Europeans, and often have basements and out-buildings also. They love to fill it all up with stuff.

  113. tbc

    I gained the impression that Thanksgiving was bigger for Americans than Xmas (Am I mistaken?)

    For Americans, Thanksgiving basically signals the beginning of ‘the holiday season’ which runs roughly through New Years Day. Think massive amounts of shopping, parties, family visits, drunkenness, etc. Kind of like metropolitan areas that have grown together so that the holiday is a mash-up of indulgence. ThanksHanukkahChristNewYears Holiday.

  114. ballista74

    For Americans, Thanksgiving basically signals the beginning of ‘the holiday season’ which runs roughly through New Years Day.

    Christmas is basically the big day. But a lot of materialism involved all the way through from Thanksgiving to Easter (that’s the holiday season). There’s always something marketed of some nature all the way through.

  115. JDG

    My goodness! Are you routinely plagued by such people attending dinner at your home? If not, why on earth would you spend so much time blogging about things that don’t pertain to your home and hearth.

    The answer was only a click away.

    About this blog: Feminism has been terrible for both Christianity and society at large. On this blog you will find essays on how feminism has negatively influenced our thinking about family, sexuality, gender roles, biology, and faith.

  116. sunshinemary Post author

    @ JDG

    LOL, thank you for pointing that out to her.

    By the same logic, we might ask feminists, “If you hate patriarchy so much, don’t have one in your home. Then you have nothing to complain about!” Think they’ll buy that line of reasoning? :)

  117. Sarah's Daughter

    Thank you SSM for responding. I appreciate that. I’ll be proceeding with the lessons I’ve learned that I wrote about today on my blog. I think a comment may have gone missing where my enemy status was announced. That’s unfortunate. I rather liked it being declared.

    I was thinking of you while watching the game. I have to admit though, we had to root against Michigan in order to hope for a bowl game for the Badgers (though those hopes are now all but shattered). I’d be lying if I said I didn’t laugh about that final decision. Ouch.

  118. sunshinemary Post author

    Thank you SSM for responding.

    No problem. I needed to address the issue you raised anyway, so thanks for bringing it up.

    I appreciate that. I’ll be proceeding with the lessons I’ve learned that I wrote about today on my blog.

    Excellent. Interested readers can find SD’s latest essay – well-worth reading – here:

    Act like a man

    I think a comment may have gone missing where my enemy status was announced. That’s unfortunate. I rather liked it being declared.

    Sorry? I don’t think I’ve deleted any comments here that I recall.

    I was thinking of you while watching the game. I have to admit though, we had to root against Michigan in order to hope for a bowl game for the Badgers (though those hopes are now all but shattered). I’d be lying if I said I didn’t laugh about that final decision. Ouch.

    Bah! Just bah and that’s all. :)

  119. GKChesteron

    @ssm,

    but, as this feminist Thanksgiving guide insists, tell your uncle to get off his butt and help, too.

    Lord almighty. The correct response is, “That’s fine, there’s this great hotel down the street that I hear has a restaurant. No, now, don’t let me hold you up.”

    @someone else,

    Any situation where one of the little dearies might be challenged is “not safe.” As if her Tea-Party brother-in-law is just waiting for her to glance away for a moment so he can impale her freakishly prominent Adam’s Apple with a fireplace poker.

    Howling laughter right there.

  120. Pingback: Products with ‘Made in Japan’ will become Collector’s Items! | M3

  121. Pingback: Where Have all the Good Women Gone? | dannyfrom504

  122. theshadowedknight

    ssm: What I perceive as being the problem in your message is that you do not differentiate between Marriage 2.0 and Marriage 1.0. You give the impression that you believe marriage period is the problem, but as Christians, we must reject your belief because the Bible says otherwise. God ordained marriage, so we really don’t have the right to reject it as an institution, though each of us personally may choose to remain single if we believe that this is what the Lord wants for us to do.

    ssm: I understand that this is your experience, and unfortunately the experience of far too many men. However, it is simply not the case that he is pining for something that never existed. Such relationships existed before, exist now, and will continue to exist in the future. It is riskier now than before to seek such a relationship and I don’t really fault a man who isn’t willing to play those odds. That, however, is quite different than saying that all that a woman by definition can bring to a man are things he can hire out better.

    This needs an answer, because you are making a couple mistakes, and so you are misunderstanding what is being said. If your assumptions are wrong, the calculations you make and the concepts and theory you reach will be flawed. I will show you where you went wrong, and it is in a couple of errors of perception.

    The Shadowed Knight

  123. bike bubba

    Y’all migt be surprised that I’d agree with our hostess’ prayer for Christmas, despite being a Spartan who was born south of Columbus. Of course, my further prayer is that they’d bring RichRod back. :^)

    (now I’m banned)

    Seriously, if one must have holidays with radical feminists, Norman Rockwell is an interesting study, as his first marraige was “open”, his second characterized by mental illness, and yet he did an idealistic portrait. He didn’t let his Ton-like hurts metastatize into the cancer of bitterness.

    Along the same lines, my mother subscribed to “Ms.” magazine from her divorce until…..she started dating my stepdad. Somehow a man who knew how to love her killed all that feminism. My stepdad isn’t exactly Petruchio, and my Mom was definitely never Kate, but it’s an interesting study in bitterness leading to “Ms.”-style feminism.

  124. bike bubba

    BTW, google Miss Brodsky. She is….shall we say….clearly an example of a young lady living fairly traditionally, but telling other young ladies not to do so. Less competition for the feminist boys? Clear case of “Ok for me but not for thee” wealthy feminism.

  125. Pingback: Lightning Round – 2013/12/04 | Free Northerner

  126. Pingback: Liberal Holiday Troubles | Free Northerner

  127. Pingback: Links and Comments #19 | The Society of Phineas

  128. Pingback: Gratitude: happiness doubled by wonder. | Sunshine Mary

  129. Amazed at how ignorant you are

    This is completely astounding. I am sitting at my desk reading this article feeling like someone just punched me in the nose and all the little pieces of bone went up into my brain which caused me to hallucinate a bunch of ugly anti- feminists taking the dreams of women everywhere and feeding them to a herd of rhinos. Oh I’m sorry did you find that super rude and completely ridiculous? Good. Then you know how I feel after reading that article. It is so incredibly offensive and makes light of so many VERY serious issues. How dare you suggest that eating disorders are the fault of feminists. Besides being completely and utterly OUTRAGEOUS it is in my opinion, quite backwards. The thought that you describe anorexic as a desirable trait is unbelievable. It doesn’t matter if you are joking, it was completely inappropriate. Next up, feminism does not break up marriages but I’ll tell you what does: marrying to young or for superficial reasons, abuse, infidelity etc… And finally, I find it amazing that anyone can actually and in good conscience think that having a vagina and breasts makes you responsible for all household chores. Your argument, btw, which says “Never mind that the menfolk probably earned the majority of the money that paid for the celebration” is completely invalid. I happen to remember a article of yours that talks about your women being the primary breadwinners in America, or did you forget?
    -Amazed at how ignorant you are
    Ps. I’m pro choice

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s