Is the title of this post hyperbole? You be the judge:
“As 2013 wraps up, I’ve been noticing more and more people getting engaged and/or married under the age of 23.
I get it.
It’s cold outside… you want to cuddle and talk about your feelings… life after graduation is a tough transition… so why not just cut to the chase and get married, right? It’s hip. It’s cool. You get to wear clothing that wouldn’t normally be socially acceptable at the dive bar you frequent with the $5 beers. Eff it. YOLO. YOMO! You only marry once…
Because at the age of 22, I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life. And that’s awesome.
Some day, I want to get married too. I want a floor length dress with a ton of cleavage. I want it to be in Asia, with Ethiopian food, and a filthy scotch selection to calm my nerves when I inevitably start to panic and hyperventilate. But WANT and NEED are two entirely different things. I NEED to develop MY dreams and MYSELF before I can truly be the type of woman you WANT to marry.
What inspired me to scribble down my feelings (so many feelings!) is The Facebook. I’m seeing all of these notifications that “X and Y” have joined in matrimony and instantly, these waves of anxiety start to flow over me. Should I be thinking about marriage? I’ve never even had a serious boy friend? Is there something wrong with me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AND WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT FOR ALL THESE YEARS!?
But then I look at my life, my relationships, and my future… and I realize that, I’m fucking awesome. It literally isn’t me, it’s them.
I have begun to notice a common thread amongst all these young unions: inexperience. Inexperience with dating, traveling, risks, higher education, career direction, SEX, solitude, religious exploration, etc… and it’s insane that I have already experienced more of the world in the last 22 years than my married peers will ever experience in their life.
I can’t help but feel like a lot of these unions are a cop-out.
It is a way for young people to hide behind a significant other instead of dealing with life’s highs and lows on their own. It’s a safety blanket. It’s an admission that the world is just too big and scary to deal with it on your own; thus, you now have someone that is legally obligated to support you till one of you dies or files for divorce…
If your love is truly eternal, what’s the rush? If it’s real, that person will continue to be committed to you 2 months from now, 2 years from now, and 2 decades from now. Grow, learn, travel, party, cuddle, read, explore. Do. Freaking. Something… other than “settle down” at 23 with a white picket fence.
Because you owe it to yourself. You are a human being that deserves to thrive inside AND outside of a relationship.
Sure. Some days I wake up and stare at my ceiling thinking: “I’m single as fuck.” But then I realize that those friends are going to get knocked up and fat soon sssoooo in retrospect, who really is winning here? I’m in China. I’m having the best time of my life. I am responsible for my own happiness.
Please enjoy these 23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you’re 23.
1. Get a passport.
2. Find your “thing.”
3. Make out with a stranger.
4. Adopt a pet.
5. Start a band.
6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too.
7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage.
8. Explore a new religion.
9. Start a small business.
10.Cut your hair.
11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face.
12. Build something with your hands.
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.
14. Join the Peace Corps.
15. Disappoint your parents.
16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again.
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting.
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places.
19. Sign up for CrossFit.
20. Hangout naked in front of a window.
21. Write your feelings down in a blog.
22. Be selfish.
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year.
… because at the end of the day, I just gotta wander onwards. Wishing everyone whiskey and wanderlust during the holidays.”
I am…speechless. No, wait. I’m furious! This is the horrible training I was talking about in the last thread. Someone at the men’s Red Pill Reddit linked to my last post, and in the comment thread, Nemester wrote:
“I am feeling joy from her pain. I would pay money to watch this fkg whr cry herself to sleep.”
Whoever wrote this is awesome.I second this. Let’s all experience the schadenfreude.
and I read that while I was at work and thought, “No, no, that bad man, we mustn’t give in to schadenfreude, we must educate and pray for the young women,” but now I say, “I am sorry, Nemester, you are right. When Vanessa Elizabeth turns 32 and has no husband, let’s you and I throw a Schadenfreude Party and invite everyone we know.” Maybe Rollo will supply the adult beverages.
Single young women, listen to your Aunt Sunshine Mary please. Look right at me. I know there has to be at least…I don’t know, three? of you out there reading this. Please listen to me.
You have been warned.
And on the matter of the young woman who wrote this article…men. We have to talk. For the love of all that is good and holy and decent, for the love of your future children, your bank account, and your freaking masculine dignity, I literally beseech you to STOP MARRYING USED-UP, DRIED-OUT, EX-CAROUSEL-RIDING SLUTS! If any of you ever marry this women, I’ll…I don’t know…I’ll find out about it somehow and reach right through this here internet and slap you. Or something.
(My thanks to Lovelyleblanc for leaving the link to this in the last comment thread.)
Further warnings for young women to heed:
1. From Dalrock’s Losing control of the narrative.
if you are a young woman looking to have it all sticking the landing isn’t something you need to worry about right now. You need to focus on your feminist merit badge while getting rogered by men who are very different than the kind of man you will eventually pressure to marry, the man to whom you will insist you “aren’t that kind of woman” so he needs to put a ring on it. And of course you need to make sure the pool of
suckerspotential husbands don’t notice what the larger script is.
This is where it is all starting to unravel. Game and the internet are conspiring to make it much more difficult to keep this open secret under wraps. Part of the problem is previous generations of women got married at such high rates the plan seems foolproof. Likewise, the fact that so many other women are doing the same thing provides a sense of safety in numbers. All of these factors are combining to create an environment where the men they are counting on manning up are instead at risk of catching on.
2. Sunshine Mary: